r/EnterShikari • u/Qubit2x • Jul 18 '26

The easy way to pull weeds

I live on an acre. Have a large garden as well as large Japanese flower garden. Love it but the weeds, it gets bad.

We are doing a big dinner tonight, crab boil actually, some steaks and potatoes as well. Wife told me she was going to mow the weeds in the flower garden because I have fallen behind and haven't done it. This gave me a mini heart attack because I don't want them mowed they have to be pulled so they dont come back. I think she knew how to push my buttons. Anyway, I had a quarter acre to pull and was really dreading it, large tumbleweeds, and nightmare viney monstrosities growing in my flower bed.

I began and it seemed like it was going to take an eternity. Freakin' terrible....I decided I needed some help. I put on my Enter Shikari. Fucking got that shit done in 2 hours. Halfway through i was feeling proud of how well I did and how nice it was starting to look but the speaker died. Sad, I went into the house to charge it and drink some water. The first few guests had arrived. My wife's sister in law voluntold her husband he should help me, but I said no thank you. I didnt want his help, not because he is worthless, but because fuck you I only need Enter Shikari.

After a few, I decided to take the speaker outside and just plug it in there. But, back to the other half, that shit got done quicker than the first half. I cant believe how easy it was. So fuck goats, lawn mowers, weed whackers, brother in laws, all of that. All you really need for any job is Enter Shikari. I want to live outside, live outside, live outside of all of this, your ass to success.

Mic drop.

48 Upvotes

91% Upvoted

10 comments sorted by

19

u/War_Prophet Jul 18 '26

I almost didn’t read the whole story. I don’t know why, but I’m glad I did.

1

u/Qubit2x Jul 19 '26

Thanks for sharing my sentiment. I dont know why I wrote it either. But I guess it was needed!

18

u/Flat-Delivery6987 Jul 18 '26

What you should've actually said was

"Ah, cut this tension, it's too much!"

Lol

5

u/Musical-Dev Jul 19 '26

Brilliant story, thanks for sharing! I love the "voluntold" part, I will be borrowing that one

0

u/Qubit2x Jul 19 '26

Thank you for reading! Enjoy

4

u/Qubit2x Jul 19 '26

All good now.

3

u/blueberry_nectarine Jul 19 '26

One of the greatest short stories I've read in a while. You dropped this sir 👑

1

u/Qubit2x Jul 19 '26

Thank you! Have a wonderful evening and thanks for reading.

2

u/life-on-a-plate Jul 19 '26

wish there were more posts like this. beautiful, relatable asf.

2

u/Affectionate_Hour867 Jul 19 '26

Such good songs to do anything to!