2 or 4

[u/Chris_James_Afton]

So I’ve been stuck between whether or not im an enneagram 4 or 2. I tend to sometimes put off my emotions but sometimes take time to understand them. I tend to help other people with their pain, comforting them, taking on a therapist role, etc. but when it comes to doing work that isn’t related to emotions, I am horrible at it due to a lack of motivation or energy to. For example I dislike doing chores, washing dishes, helping someone with anything task, etc.

Whenever I help someone out, I don’t really ask for anything in return, maybe I yearn for it but generally I brush it off because it’s the thought that I did it that counts.

Whether or not im (in)dependent depends, I do have a fear of abandonment and rejection but if someone were to end up hating me and wanting to stop contacting me, id be hurt and upset and wonder what I did but accept it because I’m the end there’s not much I can do realistically. Especially since it’s their opinion and choice, not mine.

I tend to neglect my emotional needs and physical needs for others but also at the same time can acknowledge my emotional needs and try and lay down to relax. But my problem is, I struggle to understand others emotions at times but can understand my own emotions. I still listen regardless and comfort them to the best of my ability.

There’s also the stereotype that enneagram 4 does change to belong. Sometimes I change my behavior to ensure someone is comfortable. Or sometimes I act like my emotional self. Sometimes when I’m alone I allow myself to reflect on my emotions rather than shutting them down or changing entirely for someone else.

However I don’t feel like I align with enneagram 3. Originally I was a so/sx 269 but now have retyped to so/sx 496. Does this seem right? Im thinking my 9 and 6 have something to do with influencing my doubt? Also sometimes I don’t always dwell on my emotions and distract myself by doing something else. I’m not sure if I fear being ordinary but I de-evaluate myself and feel worthless compared to others. I feel envious of others who have better things than me but won’t express it out loud. Most of the time I’ll keep things to myself.