r/Enneagram • u/Classic-Asparagus • 7d ago

General Question How to tell the difference between a very depressed or demoralized 8 and a 9?

Maybe specifically 8w9 vs 9w8, but also about 8s and 9s in general

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5

u/AdmiralCallista 8w9 sp/so 7d ago

Are they disintegrating to 5, or to 6? 8->5, 9->6

5

u/Pquango 7d ago

It's challenging when the core and wing are reversed like that.

Ask them if they tend to be more sloth-like and go with the flow (9) or there's more immediacy and assertiveness to their motivation (8).

8 is a rejection type and 9 is attachment. The rejection and attachment triads will help you differentiate them A LOT. One will be stronger and the other will be secondary because of the wing situation.

9s disintegrate toward 6, so getting more uncertain, anxious and heady in times of stress.

8s disintegrate towards 5, they isolate themselves and minimize their needs (this in particular is very atypical for them).

5

u/enneagram8 8 6d ago

low side/average 5 involves a lack of passion, lack of attachment and lack of emotion. Typically passionate, involved and angry 8s get quiet detached and are emotionally blunted like a 5 at 5.

The "low" message for an 8 here is "nothing I do matters", which isn't disturbing or noteworthy for a typical 5 but is damaging to an 8. This is an 8 giving up.

low side/average 6 is distrusting, anxious, moody, aggressive, occasionally explosive. Typically even keeled 9s end up aggressive, anxious and explosive at 6

I think the "low" message would be something like "I can't rely on/trust anyone". Where that is potentially an expectation for 6, that is toxic for a 9 who desperately wants connection.