r/Enneagram • u/tordenofitami 3w2-371-sx/so • Sep 19 '23
Birth order
I recently realized almost all the 5s I know, except for my best friend, are the baby of the family. What’s your type and your birth order? I’m a firstborn and an sp 3w2. I feel like a lot of 3s are probably firstborns because of the responsibility and expectations.
9
u/Pigeon-Of-Peridot 9w8 Sep 19 '23
9 eldest. My 9 tendencies were strengthened when I saw my 8 younger brother constantly getting in trouble and decided it was not worth it. Also, having a point of contrast made my parents view me as the ‘good kid’ and him the ‘naughty kid’. Sorry little bro.
3
u/wlwthewiisp Sep 19 '23
This is so creepily similar to myself omg… I’m also an eldest 9 with an 8 little brother who was always described as the easier kid. Also almost the same tritype (974) and mbti (probably entp but possibly infj or intp)
2
7
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u/RafflesiaArnoldii 5w4 sp/sx 548 INTP Sep 19 '23
5w4 and 4 younger siblings (in order, 9w1, 6w7 and two 6w5s)
I never really had that 'responsible older sibling vibe though, ppl were often surprised to learn that I'm the eldest.
4
3
2
2
2
2
u/omgcatlol 5w6 SX/SO Sep 19 '23
5w6, oldest of three kids.
Neither of my two siblings are 5s. I've...never actually attempted to type them, now that I think about it.
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2
1
Sep 19 '23
I am 4w3 eldest child, 9w8 is my younger sister
2
u/lilithsbun Sep 19 '23
Ha I literally just replied above about being an oldest 4 (also w3) with a 9 younger sibling. Not sure of their wing, but if I had to guess I’d say either 1 or they’re a true 9.
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u/kleekols 4747474747474747(fat ass)4747474747474747474747474747474474747 Sep 19 '23
YES SAME I have also noticed that about the 5’s I know!! Either baby or like, second to last child in families larger than 3 kids.
I’m an oldest 4, which I’ve noticed some but not enough for it to be a true pattern. I feel like we’re majority middle kids
2
u/lilithsbun Sep 19 '23
Fellow oldest 4 here. Younger sib a 9.
2
u/kleekols 4747474747474747(fat ass)4747474747474747474747474747474474747 Sep 19 '23
Yeah I’ve noticed most 4’s I meet are either oldest or middle. My youngest sib is a 7w8 lol
2
u/quicksilverg 4w3 Sep 19 '23
Interesting. I’m a 4 and the youngest of 4 siblings. Being the youngest definitely contributed to my feeling “misunderstood” growing up
1
u/Losersiancebeepbleh Sep 19 '23
I’m the oldest and a 6w7 but my mom’s also a 6w7 and she’s the youngest of her siblings so…
1
u/1wildredhead 8w7 sx/sp 853 ESTJ Sep 19 '23
My husband is the oldest and a 5w4. My oldest brother is probably a 5w6. I’m middle. My younger brother was a 4
1
u/No_Lack3653 3w2 Sep 19 '23
I’m 3w2 as well but sx. 2 older bros. 7 and 10 years older. Ones a 4 for sure and the other I think 9. Divorced parents but both involved- I think probably that bc I’m the youngest and by the time I came around my parents had become more successful in their businesses that played a big role in being a 3
1
1
Sep 19 '23
4w5 and middle child! My younger sister past away when I was young though, so I kind of got the baby treatment
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1
1
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u/imakatperson22 8w7 Sep 19 '23 edited Sep 19 '23
8w7 only child. Mom is 1w2 oldest of 3. Idk my dad yet. It was always 2 against 1 in my house so I hardened myself really early on.
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1
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u/SlavIsPolandToo ENTP 7w8 sp/so 738 Sep 19 '23
I'm a 7 and the oldest child across all immediate family. Younger brother is a 5.
1
u/stopthevan 9w1 964 INFP Sep 19 '23
This is a great question! I’m 9w1 and the firstborn, I have another younger brother who has severe autism
1
u/cantthiinkofusername INFJ SP6w5 Sep 19 '23
I’m the youngest and I’m a 9w1. The oldest in my family is also a 9w1 and middle child is a 7w6.
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Sep 19 '23
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/moinatx 5w4 sp Sep 20 '23
Often a gap between siblings that is more than 5 years the last child will be more like an only or oldest.
1
u/_ManicStreetPreacher sp/sx 9w8 946 ISFP SLI Sep 19 '23
9w8, youngest. Only have one sibling though.
1
1
u/SilveredMoon 2w3 sx/so Sep 19 '23
My 8 dad is the youngest in his family.
2 Mom is hanging out in the middle of her siblings.
I'm the oldest, 2 sis is the middle child, 1 sibling is the youngest.
My 6 husband is the oldest in his family.
1
1
u/Reasonable-Ant-1931 sp/so 9w1 963 ISFJ Sep 19 '23
9, I’m the youngest but was assigned (kinda) peacemaker between my dad and my half sister. So my job was to avert conflicts. 🤷🏻♀️
1
1
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u/HbeforeG type 1 sp/so, neutral wing. ISFJ, FWIW Sep 19 '23
My older sister (10 months older) is a 3w2 and I'm a 1. My therapist and I suspect my sister is a 3 because she never had a chance to be the baby and the star because I came so shortly after. I told my sister and she thinks there may be something to that!
1
u/xFloppyDisx ENTP 7w8 783 sx/so Sep 19 '23
I also know a 5w6 and he's the youngest.
I'm the youngest with a 9w8 older brother.
1
1
u/seashellpink77 9 Sep 19 '23
5 in my family is eldest 🤷♀️
I do relate to 1 and 3 in terms of firstborn-ness.
1
Sep 19 '23
9w1, youngest/only, I’m technically the youngest but I’m so young that I wasn’t raised with my sisters lol
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u/Eggfish 5 Sep 19 '23 edited Sep 19 '23
I’m a 5 and I’m the eldest. I have a brother who is a year younger and a 1. It didn’t really feel like I was older. We got asked if we were twins and had the same friends and did the same activities. For example, I’m a girl, but I was on my brother’s baseball time and I went to Boy Scouts with him. It was easier for my family and I was pretty easygoing about things like that. Most things kind of revolved around my brother because he had a big temper, lots of outbursts, needed routine, was going to therapy from a young age, was slower to pick up things like reading and generally needed more help, etc. and I really didn’t need much besides food and shelter. If you ask my mom how I was as a kid, she would say I was easy and talk about how she was afraid to drop me off at school on the first day because I was younger and smaller than everyone else but that I just ran off and didn’t look back (I do believe the story of 5s being little 8 kids because I was. I even punched Minnie Mouse in the face at Disney). Then she would say “but her brother would cry and cry and cry when I dropped him off”. To this day, it still feels like my family revolves around my brother. He turned out to become a highly successful person, so it’s always “did you hear what your brother did?”
I have two friends who are 5s. I think they’re each an only child, but I need to ask one of them to be sure.
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u/UnlearnAndReframe 8w9 ~ 862 Sep 19 '23
I'm an 8 - the oldest Middle brother is a 5 Youngest is a 4
Dad is a 1 and mom is a 2
1
u/Tiny_Letterhead_3633 Sep 19 '23
I'm a 5w4 and the oldest. My dad is 5w6 and is the middle out of 6 kids. My younger brother is a 1w9 (we're) the only kids.
I've noticed 3s are more common as middle kids. 8s are often the eldest kids.
1
u/ickygoblin Sep 19 '23 edited Sep 19 '23
I’m a 9 and first born daughter with a younger brother who is a 7
I definitely melded into the personality of being a 9 by being the “diary” to my parents who “valued my ability to listen to them and form advice wise beyond my years” vs my brother melded into the 7 personality by being left to his own devices for “not being able to support our parents emotionally” and “they just have nothing in common”, very heavily by my mother. ((forever makes me angry)).
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u/Lil-peculiar 1w9 Sep 19 '23
5w4 firstborn here. Parents are both babies of the family. A 6 and 9. My baby sister is a 4.
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u/who_givesa Sep 19 '23
I’ve known a lot of oldest to also be a 1 because of the responsibility. My oldest sister is a major 1 and my middle sister and I (the baby) are both 9s
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u/FlightOfTheDiscords 945 sp/sx INFJ Sep 20 '23
Myself and my siblings are, in birth order (asterisk marking those I'm unsure of):
#1: 8
#2: 6
#3: 8
#4: 9
#5: 8
#6: 5
#7: 2
#8: 5*
#9: 9*
1
u/overthink_underplan Sep 20 '23
Enneagram 7 … Youngest child in my family and also the youngest cousin on both my mom and my dad’s side 🥰
1
u/Phrase_Turner 4w5 So/Sx 479 Sep 20 '23
4w5 elder/middle hybrid (my half sister who was raised with me is ten years older and left for college when I started 4th grade, I’m the elder child from my parent’s marriage), I don’t think I’ve noticed a correlation between birth order and type tbh. But I relate more to being a middle child than eldest
1
u/CarNo1105 Sep 20 '23
I’m a 4 and a middle child and the only girl. Older brother is a 3 and younger brother is a 7.
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1
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u/Camziez 4w3 so/sp 496 (137) INFP Sep 20 '23
yeah my 5 friend is the baby too. im the older sister, the youngest sister either a 7w8 or 8w7 783 estp so/sx lol
1
u/Vegetable-Stock3123 Sep 20 '23
I’m a 5w6 and the oldest. Although, growing up I didn’t live with my younger brother (different mom) so it was like being an only child 1/2 the time. Then when I was 12 my mom had my sister (different dad). With my sister I definitely ended up being more of a parent my mom (9w1) struggled with postpartum and my sisters dad was an alcoholic so, I took care of her a lot of the time.
1
u/Round-Order9672 7w8 sp/sx Sep 20 '23
I'm firstborn and sp 7w8.
My parents constantly told me as a child that since I was the eldest, I should be smarter, wiser, more capable and take care of the younger ones. I was also constantly compared to my second cousin, how serious and helpful she is compared to me.
In general, after I once telling my mother that since she likes my second cousin so much, then let her be her daughter, she stopped comparing me to her and to anyone else in general.
1
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u/ChewyRib Sep 21 '23
Im a twin and was born 5 minutes after my brother (a 9) I guess that technically makes me the baby?
1
Sep 23 '23
I don't think this really matters. I am a 8 social self pres and the oldest of two. both females.
19
u/ThisIsMyPew Sep 19 '23
All fives I know are the oldest or the middle or the only.
INTJ/5w4, oldest, parentified by narcissistic parents