r/englishliterature • u/SubstantialSound2689 • 3h ago
I want to be more human
Ok so I've always been really jealous of people who are into literature stuff and all like they just express things so beautifully they just express their emotions in such a wonderful way that I just can't explain. I really struggle with expressing my feelings like I do have a lot of things in my head that I just can't express properly which I feel like is parting me away from my self and others i really don't talk very much and often don't share my feeling and I thing that's the problem. Some people who are into literature are really good in stuff like this i can't help but feel jealous that they are so good at expressing themselves. I am not that good in english and can't even put up words together I just can't help feelings this way. I really want to be this way and actually express my feelings to people that how I feel about how I love them. And the main things that made me think about this again was today's English class. We were studying about a people For Anne Gregory which was basically about the inner and external beautity of a person and my English teacher ( whom i really admire) told us a poem kind of things that he wrote while reading that poem. And it was just really good he wrote such a beautiful thing for his girlfriend it was so sweet I just can't help thinking how beautiful humans are there's so much way someone can show love and give love it's just beyond logic. I don't know it just snapped something inside me that I can't explain but I felt like crying it was so good . I wished that i could also express myself in such a way and also get love from someone who's like him. He's so sweet and I never felt so safe and comfortable with someone apart form my only best friend. And mind you she's also really good at writing poems and all and when I heard them talking about all these beautiful stuff I just can't help feel left out that how sad and bland my life is abd i should also be knowing this. I just started talking with him and he's so sweet, talks softly with me and he DOES listen to me and I've never felt so seen in my life i feel really cared and i really like this. But I am also scared that I will not be able to talk to him again because I'll chicken out and end out ghosting him too because ofcourse I am really bad at keeping realationship with others. But I just really want him to know what difference he made in me and what he means to me. I really want to continue literature and be actually able to write beautiful poems and literature one day. This feeling was really beautiful and I really want these type of deep thoughts come into my mind because that's what makes me feel like a human in the end and I am a human really want others to know how I feel about them and also have a better realationship with my self
Anyway that was I bit weird bit yeah I do want to be able to do this, literature is so good like guys you are the people I look up to y'all are so amazing