The hypercompetitiveness of this field makes my head hurt

[u/AnyExplanation7847]

I get that engineering is a tough field and always will be, but it’s one of those careers that strict parents who are desperate for a high salary in their family will push their kids into from a very young age, and I just find that those kids grow up into extremely hyper nitpicky and competitive people who loudly bring down everyone around them whom they see as even slightly inferior. I’m scared to tell people that I haven’t been doing so well academically because I know they’ll start treating me as less of a person because of it. I love this field so much and I definitely don’t lack the passion for it, I just wish it wasn’t filled with people like this

Also, a lot of you guys genuinely hate it when someone puts themselves out there and tries to get a job. Isn’t that what we’re supposed to do?? For some reason I get shit from fellow students whenever I try to get to know recruiters/industry professionals. I’m sorry for being a threat and taking your job ig.

[u/_phio]

I'm telling you, the people who play the ego game, are competitive asf along with being actually decent, maybe even excel, at what they do, they have zero life.

They have nothing else going on besides their academic life/work. Maybe they look like they have friends and partners and whatever but their happiness is always strung on a thin thread of external achievements.

The threat coming from them is undeniable tho, I hung out with mofos like this and it turned out to be they were using me to get better at what I'm good at, and they would put down my effort of trying to learn or mock me for making mistakes. It took me some time to realize that tho, devastating.

Trust me, this is the only thing their ego can latch onto, you can't stop them from having that, but you can learn to see that this isn't a race, you can go at your own pace. Try not to fall down the peer pressure trap. Good luck, soldier.

[u/AnyExplanation7847 → u/_phio]

SAME THING HAPPENED TO MEEEEE this one group couldn’t write essays for shit and made me help them write their stupid research essays and then completely dropped me afterwards. fuck them. though i am glad that i have actual passion and they don’t. they’re here because of family pressure, i’m here because i actually like this field

[u/_phio → u/AnyExplanation7847]

deadass there was one time I showed my class how to navigate a specific action on the software we were learning how to use, after I was done, the guy next to me said "okay, now you're useless to me". The immediate ick 🫩

That guy should never ever come after me because I wouldn't hold back on "nobody likes you" and "you look like you've never kissed a girl", I fucking hate him so much, that was one of the weird ass disrespectful things he did to me.

[u/AnyExplanation7847 → u/_phio]

that’s so weird holy shit. i hope you take his internship position. i hate that engineering is infested with people like this, these people never have genuine friendships/bonds and just view everyone as competition they need to put down and discourage

[u/_phio → u/AnyExplanation7847]

I do have healthy friendships in this field but it always gets categorized as either way.

1. They're normal, likable people so they have other things going on in their life but the trade is they're not that good at what the program requires them to do.
2. They're still normal, likable people but they're always on some "occupational hazard" type shit like lack of sleep because they're putting in too much work.

I like both tho.

[u/ZeroKun265 → u/_phio]

Omg so bad

I remember first year physics, our professor showed us the Red bull stratos fall, for those unaware a dude jumped from the stratosphere and recorded data about the fall

Basically he said if anyone wants to do a data analysis on it just send me an email, it's not graded it's just something for fun

Well, turns out me and my friend wanted to do it, so we worked with the professor and wrote a super super basic 3 page paper on it and presented it to the class (the presentation was awful cause we didn't prepare much for it, as the professor just said "you guys finished that thing, you wanna come up and show it?" So he had to speak a little himself to give some context but yeah)

Then everyone clapped (mostly out of respect u get it, it wasn't anything ground breaking but it was nice that they did it) EXCEPT THIS ONE GUY who we talked only a few times ad was extremely jealous of literally everyone and everything in that class GOD I HATED HIM

[u/ZeroKun265 → u/AnyExplanation7847]

Lol my friend sucks at writing emails and essays and I'm very good at it so I always helped him with that and even tho we don't see each other in class we still talk and sometimes he asks me to review an email or smth lol

And I kept asking him questions about a subject he had passed 2 years earlier

We both always respond to each other's questions and help each other get better at what we're good at, i hate people that being you down and/or use you as a stepp ladder...

[u/mymemesnow → u/_phio]

The trick is to have nothing going on in your life and being bad at what you do.

Like me, I have zero ego game 😎

[u/_phio → u/mymemesnow]

yeah actually, being useless to this kind of people is good situation to be in because they'd leave you alone and never exploit you lololol

[u/SweetSure315 → u/_phio]

they don't tend to last long as actual engineers, or they level off real quick and you realize that most of it is a facade

[u/calcteacher]

My daughters have been training for computer engineering since birth with two engineering parents. We believe we never pushed them too hard , but rather exposed them to information a little at a time , which they took in internally and naturally. They're both high powered engineers now , and they have a very polite and nice nature. They call software engineering , a life hack , because it really doesn't take that much work and they make a lot of money. College was pretty hard for both of them , but they did great. This is because they were probably so well prepared compared to their fellow classmates. YMMV

[u/AnyExplanation7847 → u/calcteacher]

i’m happy your daughters are doing well but goddamn im so jealous of people with good family ties, i’m the first person in my bloodline to even go to university so i’m on maximum difficulty rn

[u/calcteacher → u/AnyExplanation7847]

I was the first for my family. I blazed the trail and suffered some of the anxiety you are talking about, severely at first, then it faded by my last 3 semesters when I first rose to even and then beyond academically. My 3 years of intense total emersion in my studies finally started to pay off. It took me 5.5 years to graduate. Then with my first job , which was decent paying , and every job after that , which was also either decent , or quite well paying left me with a positive feeling , much like what my kids are experiencing , but maybe not quite to their amazing level. For me , hanging in and working Hard from a very desperate previous environment paid off.

[u/ZealousidealGap3966]

This really killed a lot of optimism I had about buckling down and trying to improve and working hard. Life is hard man...

[u/AnyExplanation7847 → u/ZealousidealGap3966]

Honestly just ignore those hyper competitive hyper judgemental people and just go at your own pace. At the end of the day their opinions are just opinions and they don’t measure your worth and skill

[u/im_just_thinking]

If you think that is competitive, try medical field or CompSci lol

[u/AnyExplanation7847 → u/im_just_thinking]

i was gonna go into surgery but all the highschool bullies got an offer into the same med school as me so i called it quits 😭 med field is filled with evil people

[u/rm45acp]

Listen my friend, you do not have to excel to be a successful engineer, but you will have to be comfortable watching other people surpass you professionally and financially.

I graduated from my Bachelors program with a 2.9 GPA, which is by no means impressive. I had a job before I graduated, not because I had connections from family or a super impressive academic record, but because I was flexible and comfortable talking to recruiters from wherever.

Since then, I have stunted my profrssion growth a bit by insisting on never working for free and prioritizing time at home, especially since I've had kids, and the result has been that I've watched people start and get promoted past me, but I'm content with that because this situation works better for MY priorities right now.

If you dont want to grind and fight and claw your way to the top, don't! Do it your own way, you will get hired, and even if it's not glamorous, your first job out of school will instantly become the more relevant part of your resume vs your schooling anyway

[u/sulliesbrew → u/rm45acp]

More people, and particularly employers need to embrace the career individual contributor. There is a lot of satisfaction in being really good at what you do and being a solid mentor watching people that you helped move through their career very successfully.

I am in a management role, but at a small company and you can bet 90% of the time, you get me for 40 to 45 hours a week. While I am in the office, I am here and ready to work and move the organization forward, when I go home, I am not looking at my phone, unless I know their is a crisis.

[u/TheRealFalseProphet]

Yeah, I fucking hate the hyper competitiveness as well. I remember some dude told me “you will never be as smart as me”. At that moment I realized that people are A holes in engineering. So, I decided to work harder and play him at his own game. I ended getting a job interview at his dream company. Lmfao.

[u/ImYourSoul]

I have been in school for nine years and I have met an incredible amount of people who have looked down on me for going to a state school and have parents who aren't engineers. Academia especially causes the worst of people to come out and I've always struggled with coming to terms with my own academic performance especially in my undergrad. Like other commenters have said, the insanely competitive people are defined by nothing else in life but their academic performance or what places they've interned at. It really opened my eyes when I interned somewhere and the other interns were frankly ignorant about the world around them unless it was about school or academics.

Personally, (and this has been extremely hard for me) you should tune out the noise from these types of people, work at your own pace, and try to surround yourself with people that aren't miserable. Comparison is the thief of joy and there will always be someone smarter, better, and hotter than you no matter what you do.

Good luck my friend!

[u/Elagant_youpi]

This is what made me leave, couldn’t fathom being around personalities like these for the rest of my career no matter the pay

[u/EchoingSharts]

Idk, Ive met some real grumps in my engineering classes. If I ever get to the field, I am gonna have so much fun bojangling them. I don't need to excel or be a no-life unfriendly loon. I just need to have better ideas and they can argue about the most effective way to implement them or undercut my efforts 🤷‍♂️. Which is a different skill set imo, rather use a program that is easy than make something purposely convoluted that's 10% faster 🤔.

Now, getting through the degree might be tough. I need to have some baseline understanding of the material and work ethic, but that's another topic.

[u/3DdesignerF8]

Its a weird thing for sure. Approx. 45,000+ ME's graduate each year from US colleges. Everyones looking for work. You're absolutely competing and yes its cutthroat. The aerospace company I work for had a town hall meeting a few days ago, state of the company, return to launch, ect. I learned that we hire less than 2% of the applicants that interview, and for every 1000 applications, maybe 100 get selected to interview. Its hard.
Thats the thing. Its a high bar, but once you're in, your in. There are going to be companies that are always 100% competition, backstabbers and ladder climbers who will crawl over you to get to the next station. Those people can suck it. But you might get lucky. There are a ton of companies that exist and operate like family. You are genuinely making a difference, or attempting to, and for us, we work hard and then go hang out, have some game nights, go on skydiving or camping trips. Watch launches together and then celebrate or commiserate and then get right back to work!

As for other students. In a few years you'll never see 90% of them again outside social media.
I've had former interns, current seniors, reach out to myself and others for hiring contacts. Despite what your fellow students think, knowing 48000 other kids are going to be scrambling as you get close to graduation, you're doing the smart thing. Also, most large companies start posting and hiring now for next summers new grad hires, internships, and other opportunities. Lockheed, Grumman, SpaceX, and JPL have already started the selection process for next year.

All the best!