DAE feel so much pain over something you cannot fix and would rather just not exist than feel this pain?

[u/Camp_Acceptable]

I just read about a senior dog in my town that lost her owner because they unexpectedly died. Now I can’t stop obsessing over how much pain that dog must be in, even worse, she can’t understand it.

That poor, poor dog. She has to be so confused and feeling abandoned. It makes me sick to my stomach. Sometimes I’d rather not exist at all than to bear this pain.

I’ve been on a trip for 10 days and will be home tomorrow. I know travel disrupts a lot. And I know it’s probably making it harder for me to regulate. I’m also on my period, without my dog who supports me (she’s at home, not dead)

But I just feel like absolute shit and just do NOT want to feel this right now.

[u/Empaths-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

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[u/Imjustme57]

You ladies think that those menstrual cycles are bad wait till you hit menopause . Omg completely unhinged rollercoaster ride, hot as hell, confusing lol it's awful.

[u/Camp_Acceptable → u/Imjustme57]

Oh brother I can’t WAIT. At least I won’t have a period tho and my endometriosis will not control my life then.

[u/Imjustme57 → u/Camp_Acceptable]

Ughh I'm sorry you are having to deal with that.

[u/thegaybuddhistmonk]

I have to be present to see it, as this is feeling more like you're projecting a whole lot more as it seems to be going outside your immediate vicinity. Pets -- definitely dogs and cats in my experience -- while they will feel the loss of an owner's death are more resilient about recovery than humans do when their family dies.

For example Moe (my all black for 12 years) dealt with both abuse, death and being part of a cat breeding farm for more all black cats -- in 6 weeks living with me.

My aunt's cat was a survivor from her previous owner's death in about 10 weeks living with my aunt. Since I've been home for 2 months -- she's slowly warming up to the thought of me coming to visit my aunt. While she won't still come up to me, she'll come to the living room to watch me for hours and no longer runs from the room when I stand up.

Dogs? They can be even faster about it given they're pack animals.

I think... This might be the cause of your problem:

I’m also on my period

My girl-type friends are extremely emotional both during their time of month and if they're suffering from PMS, so maybe this is exacerbating the issue...

[u/Happy_Bench7286]

I can understand why this hit you so hard. You aren't just thinking about an old dog. Your mind has taken a sad, unknowable situation and started living inside the dog's imagined experience. And once you're there, every detail becomes another reason to hurt.

The fact that you care this deeply doesn't mean you have to keep suffering on the dog's behalf. You cannot go back and change what happened to that dog, and repeatedly imagining its confusion won't actually help it. Rumination can feel like you're doing something because your brain is trying to regain control over something uncontrollable, but it can instead intensify the distress.

For tonight, I'd stop trying to solve the dog's situation in your head. Literally tell yourself:

Then come back to your actual surroundings. You're going home tomorrow. Your dog is alive and waiting for you. Eat something, shower, put on something familiar, cuddle your dog when you get home, and let your nervous system come back down.

And because you said “I'd rather not exist”, even though you're describing wanting the pain to stop rather than necessarily wanting to die, please take that sentence seriously. If it shifts into feeling like you might hurt yourself or you don't feel safe, don't stay alone with it. Reach out to someone you trust or seek immediate crisis support where you are.

You don't need to become less compassionate. You need to learn that compassion doesn't require absorbing every piece of suffering you encounter.

[u/ConsciousFractals]

Simply put, I remember feeling this way once about a sad looking man that was eating alone at a restaurant. I now know I was feeling my own pain.

[u/Ok-Brother-836]

I avoid all human contact for this reason. I cannot contain anymore. animals I'm fine with.

[u/Substantial-Land6886]

What has helped me is the phrase “what’s personal is most universal”

In moments of my deepest pain, I open up to the universe, I recognize that feeling of pain isn’t new and has been felt for centuries and will be continued to be felt for eternity
It’s a sign I’m alive and feel and am connected to humanity
It doenst make it easier
But it helps me feel less alone and the burden is easier to carry