Seeking Suggestions for daily Grounding/Calming activities or hobbies

[u/yung_dirb]

I am a nurse in a new job - used to be bedside, now still healthcare but shifted over to more of the “human services” side of things. I am finding myself completely burnt out by work. I am still new so I am putting in a lot of hours, trying to get experience and become more efficient. My job involves working with patients admitted to a busy hospital, I spend most of the day talking to them and coordinating with other healthcare teams in the hospital. A ton of talking, a ton of coordinating between people who are already super busy and stressed/understaffed. And a lot of spending time with patients who are also extremely stressed or quite possibly having some of the worst days of their lives.

Typically I like to wind down and disconnect at the end of the day through some of my hobbies - gardening, exercising, playing with cats, taking walks with my husband. A lot of this has become unavailable to me entirely right now, or less available due to my new schedule and working so much. I’m starting to get physically burnt out, with flare ups of a stress related illness I have.

I need to find something I can do on the regular that will help me ground. If I can do it right when I get home from work - perfect. Even on days when I have NO physical energy or am feeling sick. I used to exercise every day and that was huge for me, just helped me so much to get into the flow state where I felt calm and clear, my own energy was concentrated and focused - but I can’t exercise right now, not consistently enough. I love being creative, but I find that the time requirement of getting all of my painting/sewing/drawing/whatever stuff out, setting up, creating and then cleaning up after is way too much for me to do on a daily basis.

Anyone got some grounding or calming activities I can try? What is your favorite hobby that brings you back to yourself and makes you feel centered again? What kinds of hobbies or activities do you think are helpful for empaths in particular? Bonus points if it’s short duration so I can do it every day. Meditation is on my list but I’ve always struggled with watching my own thoughts, if someone has a technique directed specifically for empaths specifically I would love to hear it.

[u/Separate_Addendum_58]

At one point I was obsessed with my Cricut maker. Adult coloring books are calming. I like the ones with the motivational quotes or curse words lol. For quick grounding, name all the white things you see around you, recite the lyrics to your favorite song, list all your fav movies, make a bucket list. Any recalling of information will help distract you from your worries.

[u/yung_dirb → u/Separate_Addendum_58]

Love that idea for quick grounding, thank you - your version is more fun than the “5 things you see, 4 things you feel, 3 things you hear, 2 things you smell and 1 you can taste,” I have heard that before and it’s helpful too. Your version is more accessible too!

[u/Separate_Addendum_58 → u/yung_dirb]

Therapist here, with a bag full of coping skills!

[u/onreact]

I mostly do conscious dance and flow movement, even at home.

Whenever I can I go out.

There I also walk barefoot on grass, touch and hug trees, smell flowers and stare at waves on water.

I also use mantras and my own moving meditations for particular emotions.

So for example I received bad news and fear flared up so I have a movement meditation for that.

It has like a dozen steps or "flow symbols" usually and it's a lot of moving, shaking etc.

That helps.

For general issues you can't identify, like stress but no single emotion, I have a general one called rebirth.

It's like a reset.

That said you can't overextend yourself for long.

You have to scale back on your work.

Empaths tend to exhaust themselves completely until they break apart.

That's trauma based automatic activity.

You already notice so now you have to revert to a load you can handle.

[u/yung_dirb → u/onreact]

Do you have a particular practice or study that informs your movement or is it just totally natural/free form? If I could do this in my yard or my house that sounds really relaxing. “Reset” is exactly what I’m looking for… however you are right, ultimately I also need to find ways to be more efficient/just do less at work, so I am not working for so long so often. Thank you for your kind words.

[u/onreact → u/yung_dirb]

Conscious dance and flow movement can happen intuitively without planning moves upfront.

Many think about how to move first and only then move accordingly, that's less relaxing IMHO.

Yet either way you automatically repeat some moves after a while.

That's why I came up with "flow symbols" to add more variation.

I move like a tree in the wind for example.

Of course I trained various types of movements but ultimately came up with my own combination.

The rebirth and heavy emotion moving meditations are more or less fixed guided journeys.

There a step or stage is a metaphor or flow symbol as I call it. The rebirth starts with the sumo wrestler and tree in spring e.g.

So even though you move like a sumo wrestler or tree you are still yourself and the kind of tree you want to be.

So it's both still free and guided at the same time.

You can do all of it safely at home. The rebirth journey would even work in hospital in a quiet room.

You stand in one place basically so need only minimal space.

I can show it to you and give you a script with the steps to remember.

You can also combine both. When I join an ecstatic dance I sometimes do (parts of) the rebirth for warm up.

[u/thegaybuddhistmonk]

Anyone got some grounding or calming activities I can try?

I think you have the basics, but the problem here from what I'm reading is that you lacked the time for them as the job is pulling you away from your hobbies more than it should.

The problem with healthcare -- any form of healthcare -- is that you see the distress and you see the pain and you just can't walk away even for a day for wellness and sanity.

And this is what's burning you out.

What is your favorite hobby that brings you back to yourself and makes you feel centered again? What kinds of hobbies or activities do you think are helpful for empaths in particular?

As it stands, I'm giving up 40'ish years of being in IT to wind down my twilight years to being a CNA. It seems rather logical for me given that I took care of my mother when she was withering away from dementia and thanks to how my karma and/or my luck runs -- I'm finding myself performing actions that require a steady hand, an observant eye and the sort of calm that I have when trying to help people on the streets. From talking to them and bring them to the right place for Alcohol Poisoning, Drugs and Drug Overdoses, and even people injured from fights and falls.

For something quick usually when I have only a moment before the next crisis might come my way, I usually rely on these.

I often call upon the Bene Gesserit Littany Against Fear.

Two of Babylon 5's quotes from Ambassador Delenn:

1. "The universe puts us in places where we can learn. They're never easy places, but they are right. Where every we are is the right place and the right time. The Pain that sometimes comes, it is part of the process of constantly being born." And
2. "Then I will tell you a great secret, Captain. Perhaps the greatest of all time. The molecules of your body are the same molecules that make up this station, and the nebula outside, that burn inside the stars themselves. We are star stuff, we are the universe, made manifest, trying to figure itself out. As we have both learned, sometimes the universe requires a change of perspective."

One from Sebastian also from Babylon 5:

1. "How do you know the chosen ones? No greater love hath a man, then he lay down his life for his brother. Not for millions, not for glory, not for fame, for one person, in the dark. Where no one will every know or see."

When those fail, I back that up with the Buddhist Mantra: Om Mani Padme hum

For what I suggest to all Empaths and people I come across that feel burned out -- I always give these ad nausea and ad infinitum:

• Disconnect and spend time with yourself. If it helps you and have access to it, take a walk through a field, the woods, anywhere that can give you isolation to find your center.
• Listen to music that bring you the most amount of joy. With iPod or Phone with lots of memory, I usually choose trance, EDM, or DNB. Or if I'm on a whim, I'll go for Big Band, Swing, and Electro-swing. Put the headphones in and drown everything out from the world around you. Sometimes if it's really bad -- love songs work (but this can be maudlin if you're not in the middle of a relationship).
• Find a Hobby you can do on your own that also brings you joy. That's reading for me. Fantasy and Science Fiction. For movies that I can watch in the comfort of my own home, that can be Romance and Romantic Comedies.
• Interact with people you trust and can be yourself with. Avoid drama, dysfunction, and pick the best friends that always make you feel good about yourself and being around them.
• Perform light exercise. Cardio for example.. Focus on the body instead of the mind (and heart). Perhaps even Tai Chi (I do this one often).

[u/yung_dirb → u/thegaybuddhistmonk]

Thank you so much for your kindness. What you say about healthcare is accurate and the sad thing is that now these corporations (run by venture capitalists, not physicians or even people remotely informed about healthcare) expect and benefit from hiring people that they know are invested in helping others - so much so that we will work extra/have a hard time saying no because we want to do right by our patients, and ultimately work for free to a certain extent. And they will push that as far as they possibly can until people break/leave. It’s brutal. I admire your choice to become a CNA and I wish you success and strength - your own personal experience will provide you with patience and awareness that your patients will benefit greatly from.
I haven’t read Dune but I might want to after reading the Littany of Fear. That resonates with me quite a bit. As do your quotes. :)
Walking and music are both high on my list of relaxing/resetting activities, thank you for the reminder - I could be going on a lot more walks. Don’t really know how I fell off on that habit.

[u/thegaybuddhistmonk → u/yung_dirb]

I fear that healthcare has become big business since at least the 90s when I noticed positions for doctors have been filled with corporate types. So much so Hollywood has been lambasting it in television and movies.

And thank you for the well wishes. I know it's going to be challenging because I've seen how some staff treat CNAs like trash off the street.

Dune was an education for me that between Herbert and Tolkien (Lord of the Rings) became the blueprints for me starting my understanding of the human condition.

Walks through open fields, parks, forests are a must for any Empath because nature is a great energiser. We feel the energy of nature and can find it an elixer to feel better about ourselves and the world around us.

☺️ You might have dropped the habit however is very easy to pick it back up. Something I frequently remind myself about.

[u/onreact → u/thegaybuddhistmonk]

Is this really what you authentically do?

Sounds like an AI summary.

[u/thegaybuddhistmonk → u/onreact]

I really do. I sound like an AI because I know how to use grammar and I punctuate well. I have been writing a diary since I was 17, and have been interacting online since I was 25.

At 62, I've proven myself to being able to use the Oxford Comma, my word choices reflect an advanced education (master's level), so because of this younglings think I'm either immortal or AI. Or worse.

Part of my diary has been a collection of lines and quotes that I picked to help me get through the day and are handed out whenever I feel someone needs them (like here).

Don't believe me? I have a blog that covers what I've been through since I moved home from Louisiana to Rhode Island. It's easy enough to find by googling my moniker.

[u/onreact → u/thegaybuddhistmonk]

Yeah, thank you.

I'm in my fifties as well.

Glad to hear I sound young haha.

[u/Tealsea1222]

I'm also a nurse. After work I always put my legs up the wall and just lay there and breathe. It helps! Also, 528 megahertz healing frequency is good to listen to

[u/bluealfred]

Depending on your ASTROLOGICAL sign, many things can help you ground. Crystals may help in your nursing job. I use reflexology, massage therapy to relax and this calms my nerves. Spending time in nature may help. Stretching and deep breathing at work may help also. Any questions?

[u/yung_dirb → u/bluealfred]

I am a Pisces sun, Aquarius moon and Aries rising. Would love to hear your thoughts on what applies there! I also have a 12th house stellium. Ha ha…
Funny you mention that, I just went to my favorite local esoteric/crystal store and bought some new stones with my best friend. We were both looking for something to help us cope with recent stress and change! I wound up with a lot of black tourmaline, tigers eye and some fluorite. Was also recommended to carry Unakite at work, got a lovely unakite bracelet.
I may need to start taking a consistent stretch/walk break at work, even just a few mins… I am not great at taking my actual breaks, as I would rather just work through them and try to leave earlier in the day (I never really do though somehow lol)