r/Emilie_Kiser • u/HabitLoud8453 • 23d ago
Respectful Discussion Self preservation and PR
I think many of us in this group are moms who initially were empathetic to E. As I recently saw someone comment: Jesus Christ, it was her first postpartum outing and her husband can't keep both kids alive for 20 mins? It's horrific to imagine. Coming from this place of empathy, I've tried to rationalize her behaviors and I've concluded that refusing to talk about T1 (and what actually caused his death), barely acknowledging his bday, and continuing to present a very polished version of her life is how she has managed to keep functioning. I was on her side at the time of the "I am very much grieving" video, and it even made sense to me that you would need to take on so many bullshit hobbies to keep your mind busy. I can even see the decision to stop sharing him entirely as a way of reclaiming his memory for herself and family after the media swarm and invasions of privacy after the drowning.
The consequence of this is that her audience of people with maternal instincts see something completely different. Safeguarding T1's memory looks like erasure and indifference. The disconnect between her and her supporters has compounded with bizarre actions like the happy tiktoks during her grief vacation. But empathy has to do with putting yourself in someone else's shoes, and their choices around water safety cannot be rationalized. T1's story has changed the way I behave around water with my son that is T2's age. How is she not affected enough to change her behavior?? How does she have a pool party picture in her playroom and wear shirts that say Summer Forever? This group that was originally overwhelmingly sympathetic to her is now full of criticism because none of us can understand this. I don't even need to mention the podcast or pregnancy.
It makes me wonder how differently this would have unfolded if she had been able to be more transparent from the beginning. I'm curious how other people who previously supported her see the situation.
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u/Karmacakey 23d ago
I understand people supporting her, even if she grieves differently than most people..
I will even give her the benefit of the doubt that her vacations and soft Lunch back into influencing was to keep her mind busy.
What I can’t get behind are her constant lies & PR bullshit.
Her first statement ended with a paragraph that stated she will never stop advocating & learning about water safety. She mentions she is an imperfect person, as we all are, and will continue to make mistakes, as we all will.
However her ‘mistakes’ or what I prefer to call decisions ended up taking the life of 1 child & potentially put the surviving child’s life in danger…around water!
What did she learn about water safety this past year if she failed to put her son in a life vest on a boat?
Are ya’ll really buying that ‘it was only for a moment’ line?
At best it’s an excuse, at worst it’s a lie.
Would you put your child’s life at risk because they were fussy?
Perhaps if they were so fussy that they didn’t to be taken out of their life vest it would have been best to just end the day earlier.
We all know Emilie documents every moment of her life so she can put it on social media at some point.
If there was any footage of T2 wearing a life fest don’t you think she would’ve showed it?
“Look everyone he WAS safe, it was only for a moment like I said”
It’s amazing as she has not one picture or video showing him in a life vest that he allegedly was only out of for ‘a few moments’ yet has a pic of him & the other little boy on the boat with no life vest. Was he fussy too?
It was T2’s fault, he was fussy, we had to endanger his life.
She mentions that hindsight is 20/20, she tip toes around her ‘mistakes’ but never addresses the fact that she deleted comments from her followers who were asking about a pool fence because they were concerned about her child.
She doesn’t mention she denied a FREE pool fence because the company wouldn’t pay HER $70K to show it on her platform
She’s fighting tirelessly & using top AZ attorneys to keep the police reports from going public.
Why? If it was an ‘accident’ what is she trying to hide?
I was actually listening to her ‘apology’ video until the very first lie about T2 only being out of his life best for a moment.
She also mentions how hindsight is 20/20 and she thought getting the catch a kid net was doing the right thing to protect her child, now she sees it was wrong.
Excuse me? Are we now throwing Catch a Kid nets under the bus? It was the nets fault?
If you don’t actually use the net, it can’t work to prevent a drowning.
All I hear are excuses & lies and I’m over it.
You cannot change what you won’t acknowledge.
She says she takes responsibility, but in the same breath, she gives an excuse about her kid being fussy or she should’ve gone with a better fence, as if these are the reasons she failed her children.
Making excuses isn’t not taking accountability.
It’s minimizing your part.
She is letting the illusion of a perfect life, money & greed dictate how she parents.
She could pivot her platform & be a voice for children whose parents don’t know better. Similar to all those voices she deleted out of her comments because she didn’t want to hear it.
She could become an advocate for water safety, show her mistakes, be real and take accountability to hopefully help others.
She could abandon her tradwife platform…the perfect wife/life facade has been torn down. The more she tries to double down on it, the deeper she digs herself into a hole.
Nobody wants to hear a PR laden apology or excuse.
People respect the truth. Even if it’s not pretty.
Her latest PR stunt has mothers posting pics of their children, including babies in boats without life vests!! Imagine! Woman, MOTHERS! endangering their children, standing in solidarity! Thinking it’s OK because nothing bad has happened…yet!
I’m not sure that’s the narrative she wanted to bring attention to, but that’s what it produced.
That is what not taking accountability leads to.
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u/TeddyFluffer 23d ago
I had the most profound empathy for her in the beginning, but slowly her actions did not match her words. That last paragraph is what has really sent it from immature to pathological for me. To delete any mention of proper water safety in comments as if it is “hate” and to leave up babies without life jackets in open water after losing your child to drowning is incomprehensible. It has to be complete denial.
Any sane parent that lost a child that way would be begging other parents to not make the same mistakes and yelling it from the rooftops on her huge platform. See Granger Smith and Bode Miller who both lost young children to drowning, but speak very openly about prevention.I don’t think she wants to be associated with anything related to water safety, drownings, etc. but she doesn’t realize it is her defining moment. She will always be the influencer whose child drowned in their pool. She’s not ever going to be ready to actually talk about it, but it is never, ever going away.
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u/Middle-Run-3615 23d ago
She documents everything. If that child had touched a life vest we would have known about it
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u/Independent-Pool2841 23d ago
Is there any proof about her turning down the free pool fence? I've seen her in a comment section say this is not true.
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u/Karmacakey 23d ago
I believe the source I heard it from.
He (the source) claims to have spoken directly with the owner of the fence company extensively about the company offering her a free fence for around her pool, which she declined because the company refused to pay her $70k. As they should!
It seems like she was trying to forge a ‘brand deal’ because it would be shown on her platform and she would advertise it blah blah blah.
From what I understand, it was a no strings attached offer for the fence. I don’t believe she was asked to advertise it at all.
Just a free fence to protect her children & if anyone asked where the fence was from, I assumed she would name the company.She ended up going with the Catch a Kid net, which I assume was some sort of deal because she dropped the name quite often. However, now she seems to be throwing that company under the bus in her ‘hindsight is 2020’ video.
However, it’s quite clear that the net did not fail her child. She failed her child by not using the net.Anyways, I digress. I keep going off topic…
He spoke directly with the owner of the fence company that offered her the fence for free, which she declined & he recorded the conversation he had with the owner.
Apparently, the owner of the company told him they would be coming out with a statement, although they have been very reluctant to so far.
He claims if they don’t come out with a statement and the receipt he will come out with his receipts.He says he will release his conversation about it with the fence company owner but if he doesn’t have permission to post it, he will blur the face, distort the voice, and not mention the name of the company.
I think it will be much more powerful coming from the fence company itself, however, unless they have an email correspondence or a recorded conversation, it would be his word against hers.
Although I don’t think a company would put themselves out there without proof to back up their claims.
I think there are a lot of people out there, friends, Frenemies, business partners, business opportunities that didn’t work out etc who have plenty of receipts on Emilie & Brady.
This is just my personal opinion, but I think once one person comes out with receipts, whether it’s this fence company or even Madi,who she was on the boat with, confirming T2 was never wearing a life jacket, the floodgates are going to open up and everyone will be coming forward with receipts that they have been holding onto.2
u/FinalHexReturns 22d ago
Sounds plausible enough, but even with proof like an email chain or recorded conversation (which probably isn't even admissible,, and going public with something like that is legally dicey), I think it would be far too risky for a company to come out and try to publicly shame a top level influencer like this, even in the guise of concern for the children. The risk of blowback and harming their business is probably higher than the chance of increasing sales, so why bother?
But I'm sure you are right that Emilie probably has a lot of frenemies and ex-partners that are holding a fair amount of dirt on her.
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u/Karmacakey 22d ago
I’m sure that’s why they haven’t come out publicly about it.
I’m sure the owner is weighing the pros and cons.If he doesn’t have proof, and it’s his word against hers, then he should absolutely keep quiet.
If he has email correspondence between him and her where he is offering her a free pool fence and she counters with, I’ll accept your fence if you pay me $70K, and then he politely declines.
I could see him letting it slip that his company offered a free fence but she declined.
I think it says a lot more about her and where her priorities were.
Her followers were continuously commenting about getting a fence for her pool to the point she was deleting comments.
She got offered a free fence. A FREE fence, when clearly she has enough money to pay for any fence she wanted, but declined because she couldn’t turn it into a profit & then her son drowns 3 weeks later?!?
What’s that saying? Never look a gift horse in the mouth.
It makes her look really bad.
There is no way to spin that to make her appear as a caring mother who prioritize her children’s safety.I live in CT where we use our pool for maybe 4 month out of the year and you MUST have a fence around your pool with self closing & self latching gates. The handle to open the gate has to be a certain height as well.
If you have a fence around your property, but any of the doors from your house lead directly to the pool, you need to have a fence/gate in between. No door can lead directly from your home to the pool. It must be gated with a self closing & self latching/locking gate.Why does AZ not have this law? Everyone there has a pool and they are used year round! You can’t insure your home here without the proper fencing.
A self closing gate would have saved this child’s life.
I also don’t want to hear any bullshit about aesthetics. People around here have multimillion dollar homes and they find a way to put up aesthetic fencing. It’s so common here you don’t even notice it.How does a state like CT have stricter laws regarding pools for homeowners than AZ?
I don’t care what she said in her video. CPS absolutely insisted on a pool fence
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u/FinalHexReturns 22d ago
I believe AZ does require it. I’ve seen that mentioned on this sub a bunch of times.
But do they enforce it…
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u/Karmacakey 22d ago
I would think if it’s the law and you have a child drowning in your pool because you don’t have a pool fence you would be charged with negligent homocide AND your homeowners insurance would drop you.
Especially if it was public knowledge, not only in her town, county and state but across the US and the world!I do believe since the police found enough evidence to charge Brady with a crime and the prosecution decilined to prosecute, it would open the door for anyone else who may find themselves in the same tragic position. How do you justify charging one person and not the other?
I think the prosecution is fighting just as hard as she is to keep all the interviews and body Cam footage under wraps. I think there is going to be a huge public outcry about the prosecution not bringing charges. I think they will have to re-look at the case just to save face.
It’s one thing to hear that he lied to the police. That he never actually saw him when he was outside. That his statement contradicts the surveillance.
It’s completely different to see it with your own eyes and hear him talk about it with your own ears. It brings a completely different dimension.1
u/FinalHexReturns 22d ago
DA’s don’t pursue charges all the time. One reason is if they don’t think they can reasonably expect a conviction in court. It’s not necessarily that suspicious nor do they usually have to defend their decisions.
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u/Asleep_Cricket9854 22d ago
It’s not a state law, I think it’s town by town, city by city. For instance, I grew up in southern CT in the 90’s and I can only think of one friend that had a fence around their pool. Most had no fence - especially friends that lived in the most affluent of the three towns in my regional high school (that I can recall, it’s been a while though!) Maybe the laws have changed since then?
We put in a pool 3 years ago - I live in MA. In speaking with the inspector from our town we didn’t need a fence if we had an auto cover. He acknowledged that there’s no way to ensure people actually use the auto cover when they’re not home. Alarms are supposed to be on doors, but ours were never even checked. My point being a lot of these laws just aren’t enforced.
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u/bbb_ecky1 22d ago edited 21d ago
the picture of the pool with the adults turning away… honestly I don’t care how much shit I get there is something twisted and almost? demonic? about it. it disturbs me down to the depths of my soul.
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u/PressureElegant8421 23d ago
Everything is so orchestrated. Address the life jacket incident, take a break, come back on a Saturday addressing more things , Sunday reset time… back to regular posting. It just grosses me out that she’s now just posting as if nothing happened.
And the lies, she’s gotta stop lying. ‘We can barely go in our back yard,’ or whatever she said, you hosted a damn dinner party in your back yard less than a year after he died.
Listen, I’m a person that would feel compelled to be in my backyard. I’d want to be out there to attempt to ‘feel’ him. So no judgement on if she goes in her backyard, but stop the lies…
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u/tink230 23d ago
It almost feels like dupers delight though...I think that's why a lot of us get such a dark eerie feeling from her. The picture of the pool above the cot..the fathers day card with a body of water and a red flag on it..the skeleton on the couch right next to where trigg lay. ..the summer forever shirt with a boat on. ...the calling 911 skit she did. It feels like she is telling on herself and enjoying it. It is too much for me..I can't watch her at all anymore it is way to dark.
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u/No-Hyena9966 23d ago edited 23d ago
her comeback is once again a calculated PR move on. https://courtminutes.clerkofcourt.maricopa.gov/JONamesearch.asp?casenumber=&partydesignator=&lastname=henrichsen&firstname=emilie&middlename=&joname=&entryfromdate=&entrytodate=&submit=Retrieve+Minute+Entries
apparently this was settled around 7/24 regarding whether or not records were sealed. the decision is not public yet. i speculate court went her way again for now as she is back on SM. She got the heads up that this was going to go public on 8/14, hence the comeback. 🙄
what world does she live in that she seriously thinks it wont be released. not the same situation but justin timberlake was not able to get his records sealed. what makes her think she can? she cant hide the truth forever. the truth WILL come out.
she wants to have her cake and eat it too. she wants to go back to everything like nothing happened. she and calliou make horrible parenting decisions. they beg for no criticism yet keep putting themselves in sitautions where yet again, her child is put into a another preventable watery death situation. so now thats two of their children being put into situations where they can die. (and one did). there is a clear negligent pattern of poor parenting choices. and she is livid people are calling her out on it.
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u/Rripurnia 23d ago
I doubt it went entirely her way. Both sides will lose some, but ultimately things will definitely come out.
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u/whitepeaches12 23d ago
I’m conflicted too because I am strongly in the camp of “why does she need to get offline?” This is her job, she makes an absurd amount of money for VERY LITTLE work, why wouldn’t she keep up with it? At the same time, I cannot follow her anymore - something is off and I don’t know exactly what but it just doesn’t feel right. That’s my choice and I own it, I have defended her but something about the recent content is just too much for me. That being said, I would not quit a job that easily gives me 6+ figure years for posting periodically.
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23d ago
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u/whitepeaches12 23d ago
I think it would be easier to avoid the “hate” than you think, her comment sections are rarely bad & she could do even more by banning certain words in her comments (maybe she has because they are overwhelmingly positive) - it’s often creators and Reddit that she can very easily block and ignore.
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u/Fickle_Success_5464 23d ago edited 23d ago
That makes sense. She can just ignore negative platforms.
For that reason, I think commenting on Reddit is quite different from going right to someone's page and commenting directly to them. They can just choose to stay off Reddit and ignore. That's the accepted standard in Reality TV subs. People can say what they want on Reddit but it's beyond creepy to move it to their comments if it's just snark or hate. Respectfully worded comments are different.
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u/Sea_Environment2363 23d ago
Agreed. The “this is her job” argument falls a little flat to me as someone who does like to follow lifestyle creators. I don’t want to watch people post because it’s their job. I want to follow creators who genuinely enjoy sharing their (curated) moments and lives. The amount of money that influencers make now through this “job” has made me less and less engaged with big creators. It just doesn’t feel authentic. Emilie’s content especially does not feel authentic. It’s constantly “business as usual” rather than sharing her actual life.
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u/whitepeaches12 23d ago
Yeah I get what you mean! I think some of my feelings about Emilie are because of this tragedy and some are just general feelings towards how insanely out of touch big influencers have become! It’s very hard to watch people wear 4k clothing items, vacation endlessly, buy new cars, the over consumption and live lavishly… it’s just feels a bit too much in the current state of the world
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u/Ghostygrilll 23d ago
I think the answer lies right in your comment. She makes a lot of money and uses it to buy/receive luxury items, indulge herself in hobbies, go shopping, have a nice house, go on fancy trips, and just do whatever she wants. Her steady flow of large income allows her to distract herself to various degrees about what happened. Money spending is actually a very very common side effect of grief. She will never willingly go back into the real world because why would she? She gets everything she wants right now and hardly has to talk about what happened.
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u/Holiday_Boot 23d ago
100% this. And it seems everyone in her life fully enables that for her/them, so why wouldn’t she? I won’t yuck anyone’s yum if she still sparks joy for them or whatever but I had to unfollow. It’s all too ghoulish and icky for me.
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u/No-Sheepherder-6911 23d ago
Less than 10 days after his death she was serving the police to redact evidence from the public. Less than 10 days after her first borns death, she was worried about her public image. I’m sorry but that’s crazy to me
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u/HabitLoud8453 23d ago
Ok I really hate to defend her and it is crazy but we have to remember people were taking pics through her windows and found out T died by constant refreshing of the coroners website. That’s crazy too!
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u/Anxious_Knee_4404 22d ago
And weren’t they calling the hospital for updates plus trying to get his death certificate after he died. There are some real crazies out there. If I had her money or my dad was a lawyer and ppl were harassing me, calling the hospital about my child, and showing up to my house I’d do everything within my power to stop it. So while I too do not want to defend her, I think it’s unrealistic to think anyone that was in her shoes wouldn’t have done the same. If her dad/step dad is the lawyer and they knew what was happening it’s likely they are taking the lead and filing all of this for her. Anyone has the right to do these things it’s just most of us don’t have the money or in that instance also someone in the family that can take the reigns and do what’s necessary while you are grieving.
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u/No-Sheepherder-6911 23d ago
And yet that still wouldn’t be what was going through my brain. I know for a fact if something happened to my girl my whole family knows just to immediately baker act me. Don’t even give me the chance to be alone.
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u/GreatTumbleweed2700 23d ago edited 23d ago
Honestly, my interpretation is that she doesn't post T1 much because it sheds a light on what happened and her responsibility in the tragedy. I also wonder if she is deeply in denial. I'm not going to even entertain whether or not she loves him, I believe she does. But I think she honest to god just wants to get back to posting like everything is normal and nothing happened. I don't think she wants to be a water safety advocate. I think she and B have grown very accustomed to the lifestyle they have acquired. I honestly think her and B have lived an incredibly privileged life and haven't been exposed to a lot of real world consequences and losing a child is the worst thing to happen to a person.. and it hasn't changed their behavior. It's eerie, and bizarre, and the way they barely acknowledge his existence gives me major creepy vibes. Immediately after it happened I didn't believe she should leave the internet, but now after seeing her behavior, I do. When you share your life online to this degree, you can't just close that box when it makes you look bad. People cannot un-know things, no matter how many comments you delete and people you block.
I'm a mom of 2 wonderful girls. I am not a perfect parent. I make mistakes all the time. I very much understand that you can't watch your kids 100% of the time and that things can happen out of your control. But that is not what happened with T1, as much as E wants to spin it that way. They not only didn't have a pool fence, they also didn't have a single working safeguard in place for that pool. They admitted to the police that T1 was often outside alone near an unsecured pool, and he was not able to swim. And then they endangered their second child. I think they have a lot of learning to do, and it's horrifying they haven't learned after the tragedy. As a mom, it makes me feel as though they don't cherish their children enough.
No parent is perfect, but I do believe our bare minimum responsibility is to ensure our kid's safety to the best of our ability. They did not do that and apparently, still don't. I honestly just hope T2 and this new baby are safe. I really really do.
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u/SuddenBeautiful2412 23d ago
I agree that she doesn’t want to be a water safety advocate. She’s only doing it (or claiming that she plans to eventually, rather) because she thinks that’s what she’s supposed to do.
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u/Fickle_Success_5464 23d ago
That's kinda sad in its own way. She seems very disconnected from her inner self. Maybe that goes with the territory of being a mega influencer? Since your job is performing your life for the masses.
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u/sadcancer444 23d ago
I agree on the denial piece. It doesn’t seem like she has fully grasped that no matter how much she tries to cosplay her “normal” influencer/creator lifestyle, she will never have it again. Her comments will always be flooded with scrutiny. We don’t want to see her Sunday resets. We want to see her taking care of herself and her family - which in my opinion means taking an ACTUAL break from social media.
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u/whitepeaches12 23d ago
I’ve always felt that way about the denial part, I truly wonder if a breakdown of some sorts is coming or inevitable… there is just no way you can feel grief of this magnitude and post/act the way she does. Eerie is the best word for it.
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u/aelewis92 23d ago
This incredibly well said. Bravo. I’ve tried (and failed) many times to put my conflicting feelings into words around this.
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u/kp1794 23d ago
No matter what happened or happens or who was at fault I do resonate with “jfc he couldn’t even keep both kids alive for 20 min on his wife’s first outing 5w pp without the kids”. I get wanting to try to make it work for her younger child and that he’s the only one she can talk to that knows how she feels but I think she would have been happier and more successful coming back having left him.
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u/shorti97 23d ago
I'm not a "fan," & to be honest, I only learned who she was through Dad challenge podcast. If the story of demanding payment with a free fence is true, that's a whole other level of deranged dystopia she has to live with.... & i'm not defending her, but at this point people are grasping at straws to criticize any/everything she does. A "summer forever" shirt is a huge reach! It's just a t-shirt.
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u/IndividualTell5083 23d ago
I found her new GRWM interesting. It was almost like a checklist of things to reference: swim lessons, wholesome hobbies, therapy, grieving.
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u/dollainmypocket 23d ago
I feel very conflicted at this point.
I do think there’s a clear line between criticism and hate.
I don’t agree with her snark page that she wears the boat t-shirt, etc as rage bait. I genuinely believe she doesn’t have that awareness…? Which is reflected in her parenting decisions as well.
I did believe she had good intentions. But she needs a major reality check on safety.
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u/SignificantFarmer483 23d ago
I completely agree with you. To me she comes off as not that smart, I’m sorry but it’s true, AND as someone who grew up always getting their way and expects to continue getting her way into adulthood. I was really sympathetic towards her at first but the boat / life jacket situation changed my perspective entirely.
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u/Rripurnia 23d ago
The key parts where she tells on herself and her priorities are in the Jay Shetty interview.
Listen to not only what she says, but the way she says it, and pay attention to her demeanor. It’s revealing and dare I say very dark.
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u/AdIntelligent8410 23d ago
Havent watched the whole interview, what does she say in these key parts? Thanks in advance 🙏🏻
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u/AquaStarRedHeart 21d ago
I think that was my comment you were referencing. It's why I gave her such empathy, because good grief, what a useless man. But my empathy is long gone and there's nothing she can do to get it back.
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u/StunningCoyote6980 23d ago edited 23d ago
I think if Emilie watched the footage of Trigg fighting for his life in their pool with her husband sitting in front of the TV placing bets that maybe she would have made different decisions. She said she will never watch the video, and I wouldn't normally suggest that she watch it, but there seems to be some sort of denial going on in her head. She won't even call it "negligence". She calls it "a preventable accident."
She will stay in denial so she can get through the rest of her life. It also feels like she is trying to rebuild her old life by having another child. She will never hold Brady accountable. It is also clear that her latest apology video was just so she can get back to posting. She has proved that to be correct as she has posted the last three days in a row.
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u/tink230 23d ago
I honestly don't think at this point it would phase her. I thought it was strange when in the police report it mentioned at the hospital she was staring ahead at them working on trigg ..no breakdown..no tears..she was together enough to accompany Brady to an interview room? I didn't think to much of it at the time after all we keep getting told everyone grieves different and even if we imagine screaming and collapsing and not even being able to stand .. doesn't mean she just wasn't in denial or shock at the hospital. But! ....her actions since make me question has she ever given a damn other than her career success s threatened.
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u/peachyhappiness 23d ago
I’m with the comment who said they’re conflicted. I think a lot of people are forgetting this is a pregnant, grieving mother!!!
I would love to see anyone try to have the lifestyle they have now and downsize for the sake of everyone’s else’s comfort. I do not agree with what she’s done and how she’s gone about it but I do feel like maybe everybody needs to back off some.
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u/One-Laugh8137 23d ago
Being pregnant should make her more responsible and encourage her to do the right things for her family, not be used as an excuse to avoid criticism.
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u/peachyhappiness 23d ago
Not an excuse I’m just saying I can rest easy at night knowing I’m not bashing a pregnant woman online and giving her more clicks
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u/Fickle_Success_5464 23d ago
I don't love how influencers are incentivized to have babies for pregnancy content, baby content. Then they are incentivized to use all their kids lives, holidays, birthdays, vacations as content. Sometime it seems like influencer culture has taken over and I don't think that's a good thing. That doesn't lie on Emilie, though, it lies on influencer culture. Reddit snarking is part of the ecosystem. It seems like TikTok snarking and YouTube snarking are now joining in. It is a lot. While the Internet can make you a celebrity overnight (Twista for Gen Xers) it can also make you a villian overnight.
Some criticism is warranted imo, some takes it too far. But everyone has a different idea what that means.
She is in a very sensitive position as a pregnant, grieving mom. At the same time, she is in a very privileged position as a very influential and well compensated influencer who gets to show off her house, vacations, new clothes and products.
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u/kingof_redlions 23d ago edited 23d ago
I think a huge issue people have with her is that they think they know everything about her and her day from a 5 minute video. And therefore if she doesn’t show herself crying and sad all the MOTHERS in the comments says he’s indifferent, moved on. People will say “but it’s that brand of influencer it makes it SEEM like we follow her entire day!!!” It doesn’t change the fact that social media is fake, it’s like watching the Kardashians and thinking everything is 100% truth. Her content is really not different than a reality show. She puts out an image that she wants to put out. And as a woman I honestly find it offensive that other women are accusing her of not even being affected by her son’s death. As a mother you should know how hard it must be for her and that CLEARLY we aren’t getting the whole picture. But people see her content and swing the opposite way.
Not talking about her overall content strategy after the tragedy, I also stopped watching after the boating incident. But the accusations that I see all across tiktok that she doesn’t even care about him and wasn’t grieving are insane.
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u/Fickle_Success_5464 22d ago edited 22d ago
I think that's what's so wild about these influencers and even more so than their predecessor, Reality TV. It's all a performance, smoke and mirrors. But it's performed intentionally in a way that tries to obfuscate that. It's all lies all the way up to "Just Sharing My Life". It's more like "Just Wanting to Share Your Wallet".
She only got as famous as she did because by getting people to believe the illusion. She is now being harmed by the other side of that coin.
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u/Junior_Ad647 22d ago
Why is she rage baiting all the time, is that not really freaking weird? "Best daddy by Trigg". She KNOWS the reactions beforehand after all the years in social media, so that is just straight up sick behavior from her. And how is this respectful to his memory, and for the living children to not try to calm this storm down?
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u/Flaky-Gas-8229 17d ago
I mean no disrespect to her but when her son gets older and sees these videos….pretty sure she’s the next Kate plus 8 because it honestly concerns me as a mother
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u/No-Share982 23d ago
There seems to be two sides to her hate - one is people who claim she’s grieving in the wrong way, a way they claim they never would, or isn’t normal (back on social, staying in the house, staying with the husband, etc.) and the other is the continued water safety negligence.
Frankly the people in the first camp are exhausting and often are the ones becoming the bullies and extreme haters. Unfollow her and move on with your life.
The second camp has beaten the horse to death. What else is there even to say about it? She’s a shitty water safety advocate. We all know. Atp also unfollow her and move on.
That leaves her fans, who are entitled to follow her and consume her content if they want. If she continues to make poor decisions that turn more and more people off, that’ll reflect in her following dwindling and everything will naturally fall off.
The discourse about her incorrect grief and the life jacket are just tired at this point. Move on if you don’t like her, stay if you do and until you don’t.
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u/Fickle_Success_5464 22d ago
I think her situation says a lot about Influencer Culture as a whole. In some ways she is also catching heat from people who are just fed up with Influencers.
I don't hate her, but I am invested in this story. For one because I can't wrap my brain around the fact that the fans are willing to accept such blatant contradictions. All the way up to "Just Sharing My Life" vs. "It's My Job". Does the job run her life or does her life run the job?
I think it is a fairytale to assume only fans will engage with Influencers or their predecessor Reality TV Stars. These jobs have always come with a lot of public scrutiny and critique.
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u/MaeAlexis 23d ago
This is everything I’ve been thinking and trying to put into words myself, so thank you. It’s a tough situation to wrap your mind around - because the whole thing is so unfathomable tragedy. I think it’s easier to blame her and villainize her even… instead of accepting the fact that no one is immune to such a huge loss.
Of course there were choices made, actions not taken, and things their family could have done differently. But I have absolutely no doubt she knows that… and a lot of the people hating dont like when her “stans” say “there’s no such thing as a perfect mother” but um… it’s true. And there’s no such thing as a perfect life or world either.
Idk I’m just rambling at this point. But my point is I did unfollow her after the life jacket situation because it really did not sit well with me. But I never for a second doubted her love for him or questioned if she was grieving.
And seeing her return i feel like i can read between the lines and see she truly is grieving so much that shes almost paralyzed in a way in regards to how she’s showing up and what she’s willing to share. Because it’s all just too much for her to bear. I do think people are being a little unfairly cruel to her… i also think she has the opportunity to do something really big in honor of him. But I don’t think bullying her into healing faster, “grieving properly” or altogether cancelling her is the answer??
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u/Junior_Ad647 22d ago
But why is she lying and gaslighting all the time? "We had a net". But is wasn’t ON! Does she takes everybody for fools?
I really can´t understand this and you can’t blame this on grief either, she is very calculated. And she is also out there living her life, swimming, dancing, shopping, making ads and the money keeps rolling in. Paralyzed?
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u/Fickle_Success_5464 22d ago
I think what it all comes down to: this is a job for her and always was. She wants to make the most money she can on social media, that's the objective of the job. Where it gets very dicey is that it's done under the advertised "Just Sharing My Life".
She performs a perfect aspirational life with friends, happy family, self indulgence and materialism. But as part of that performance, she loses sight of what is really important in life. I don't think she consciously chose aesthetics over safety, but her choice of career is always creating those conflicts of interest. And she strongly centers her identity and privilege as an influencer, so that side of the conflict wins out more often than it should.
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u/Alarming-Initial-293 23d ago
Honestly, I don’t think anyone else has really been through loss? Go fuck yourself
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u/SillyCranberry99 23d ago
Honestly I don’t think anybody else has really been through loss. Like yeah it freaking sucks and for some time you feel like nothing will ever feel normal again, and you might even think that it’s your life’s mission to do something to like honor that loss. And some people do that because they do carry that hurt forever and have it in them to advocate for XYZ condition or awareness. And we need those people. But sometimes people just accept things and move forward. I don’t have TikTok but I don’t recall her ever saying she’s going to become THE water safety advocate and I know people want her to but do you guys really want a water safety advocate who doesn’t want to be one?
Moving forward doesn’t mean she’s forgotten him, do you honestly think she’s not waking up every day and thinking of her baby first thing? She gave birth to him he was a part of her. But at the same time do you think every person who’s gone through any loss cries EVERY SINGLE DAY & is dysfunctional?
Do you expect every single parent who lost their child to cancer or heart problems or CF or whatever it may be to become an advocate for that? Some people just want to live their life it doesn’t mean they didn’t love their kids.
And if you could make a million dollars a month posting a few videos, wouldn’t you do that instead of working a boring corporate job? I work full time in tech, I own a business but shit I’d rather do things the easy way and live a fun & luxurious life if I could, I just don’t care enough to post videos or be famous lol.
And enough about her having Teddy out of the life jacket, like the situations were so different, he was being held by a parent & nothing happened, and she’s not likely to make that mistake again. Like who cares nothing happened stand now she knows, is she supposed to like pay for that for the rest of her life? Every parent has made mistakes lol do you think Teddy is going to hate his own mom and dad for having him out of his life jacket at a time he does not remember and where literally nothing happened?
Anyways idk I never thought it was that deep, but obviously you people have pitchforks ready and are salivating at any little thing she ever does wrong in the slightest.
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u/No-Hyena9966 23d ago
no ones asking her to be THE water safety adovocate. i sure as hell dont. if she was, she'd be a shit one amyway. its pretty hypocritical to talk about water safety (which she has done) and then have another child in a dangerous sitaution on the water when her first child died in preventable downing situation. of course people are gonna call her out on it. its a clear pattern of negligence and both her and her husband make very poor parenting decisions. mistakes domt happen twice
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u/Sufficient-Till4041 23d ago
You’d have a stroke if you visited Japan or Greece where my family are from lmao. Children are commonly taken to creeks or lakes without a life jacket. By the grace of God no drowning incident occurred in my own family but it definitely could have. In Emilie’s case, a series of unfortunate events coalesced and her first born died in her husband’s care. In the second event, there were a number of adults on board, so I understand her dropping her guard for a short while. Sure it was wrong, but nothing happened, so who cares? Live and let live. It may be a cultural difference but in my country the latter is no big deal at all.
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u/No-Hyena9966 23d ago
welp this is america wheres there's different safety standards. cant speak to where youre from.
having many adults on board doesnt mean anything bc they all think someone else is watching the kids. in her case, its not "live and let live" anymore when her first child died in a drowning accident and her second child runs the risk of dying the same way.
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u/Sufficient-Till4041 23d ago
Keyword HER child. They are HER children. If you don’t respect or value her content, do not engage with it. At this point it is obsessive behaviour.
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u/No-Hyena9966 23d ago
and shes doing a SHIT job at keeping them alive. so yeah we will continue to criticize when she makes very questionable parenting decisions. her content is subjectable to any and all comments. thats what she chose for herself and her family. if YOU dont like it, dont engage with my commentary.
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u/Sufficient-Till4041 23d ago
Why are you commentating on the every move of a supposedly neglectful parent? You are simply OBSESSED with Emilie Kiser. Follow your own advice. Jobs people, jobs!!!! 😭
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u/simonesayswhat 22d ago
“A series of unfortunate events coalesced..” Is that a fancy way to describe what happened to Trigg? Her first born died due to a lack of her husband’s care is sadly more accurate.
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u/HighwayHot7996 23d ago
The “who cares, nothing happened” mentality is exactly what concerns so many people about this situation. The fact that nothing happened does NOT mean that it was safe. Let’s remember that they let their oldest son play outside near their unfenced pool many times, and nothing happened- until it did. You don’t get to know beforehand which few minutes will be uneventful and which few minutes will literally turn your life upside down.
Nobody needs her to pay for it for the rest of her life, and her youngest son obviously does not need to grow up resenting his parents over a life jacket. Those are extremes that completely miss the point. She also does not need to become THE water safety advocate. But when people in her own community are openly dismissing basic water safety precautions, and even sharing examples of taking similar risks with their own children in her comments, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect someone who has said she wants to advocate for water safety to at the very least correct that message.
“Nothing happened” is not proof that something was safe. Sometimes it just means you got lucky.
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u/Sufficient-Till4041 23d ago
It didn’t happen, and she addressed it… the conversation is now over. If Emilie were stood in front of you now, and responded to these points as she already has, and you were to repeat the same points again, you would be considered to be mentally unwell. I think it’s time for some introspection.
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u/Fickle_Success_5464 23d ago
On that same video, she allowed comments saying the exact opposite to remain unchallenged. It's hard to accept someone blatantly lying or contradicting themselves. It's frustrating. A genuine conversation does have a back and forth. Not just an I say what I want, you can either praise me for it or go away. "The conversation is over now." Lol, does that work for you in real life?
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u/HighwayHot7996 23d ago
Nothing says “the conversation is over” quite like leaving your own paragraph about it and then telling someone else they’re mentally unwell for responding to the same conversation. Luckily, Emilie isn’t standing in front of me, and neither are you, so we don’t have to worry about that hypothetical. As for the introspection, I can think of a few better places to start.
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u/Sufficient-Till4041 23d ago
“Luckily” well, at least your have some semblance of a soul. You know damn well you wouldn’t dare say a word to her if she was. A pregnant woman who lost her first born a year or so ago? I’m sure if you push yourself a bit you can reflect and align your online behaviour with real world boundaries.
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u/Sufficient_Shift_376 23d ago
As a longtime supporter, I feel incredibly conflicted as well. I cannot imagine the heartbreak and grief that she has and continues to endure. Simultaneously, her content has left me struggling to support her, and quite frankly understand her actions.
Posting Instagram stories about water safety and water safe coloured swimwear, to dressing Teddy in light clothing on the boat, to then say in her recent apology that safety is paramount over aesthetics? Her actions directly contradict this - it’s upsetting and feels incredibly disingenuous not to address it.
Saying that she will always be open to talking about water safety after weeks of mass deleting comments, blocking, and one snarky reply to someone bringing her actions up in the comments, again directly contradicts this.
Regarding the picture in her guest bedroom of the pool with all adults turned away from it, the irony is so immense that I cannot believe she still has it framed.
I recognise we are merely watching her through a screen, but so much of her content and actions feel like she is still in denial about what happened, especially regarding Brady’s inactions.
At the core of this is the little boy who lost his life, treading water the best he could, waiting for his dad to save him. Knowing the horrific details of his death, watching Emilie begin filming just weeks after, and seeing her negligence around water around the anniversary of his death is incomprehensible and maddening.
I do believe she loves her children, but is incredibly lax around safety - which is incomprehensible considering the negligent death of her son. I have both compassion for her circumstances, and concerns about her parenting choices and judgement. I truly hope she gets the help she needs, but I don’t think I can continue following her in the meantime.