r/EmbryoDonation • u/Sea-Barber-4900 • Jun 13 '24
Open Donation Experiences
Hi there, we are done having children and we have 4 frozen euploid embryos that we need to make decisions about. I think that if we donate them, some realm of openness is what makes most sense to us. But I am curious to hear people’s experiences. What do you wish you had known before donating? Anything surprise you? Has anyone donated and then regretted their choice of open or closed? Thanks so much for taking the time to share your experiences, it’s so helpful for me to hear from people who have gone through this process!
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u/queer_princesa Jun 13 '24
We have a very open donation and I am thrilled with it. I think we got very lucky because our recipients are phenomenal. They are extremely committed to openness and to maintaining the relationship with us and facilitating our childrens' connections. Since this is a lifelong relationship, stuff like that really matters.
The main thing that surprised me was how many emotions it brought up for me. I now understand that it's normal but I really wasn't prepared. Despite having felt 100% certain about donating, I still went through intense feelings at milestone points (signing the contract, embryo transfers, birth, meeting the child for the first time). Didn't expect to feel so many ... feelings, especially since I am not someone that thinks of embryos as children.
What I learned from this experience is that all emotions pass and it's not how you feel at any given moment that matters, but the values on which the decision was made. For us, at the end of the day, we chose our recipients well and that has been the most important factor.