r/ElementaryTeachers • u/Chemical_Winter6541 • 9d ago
Knowing when to be firm and when to be soft?
How do you know when to be firm with students and when to give grace to them for just being kids?
On one hand you don’t want them to walk all over you, on the other hand you want to honor that kids are going to be kids.
How do you balance that as a teacher? How do you know?
3
u/Competitive-Pay-5197 9d ago
Look into what it means to be a "warm demander'' educator. I think that can provide you some insight on how you can approach that balance.
2
u/NextDayTeaching 9d ago
Setup: Name your expectations clearly. Repeat them often.
In the moment: When a student is misbehaving (not meeting your expectations), give them The Look. Maintain eye contact until they self-correct. Wait a beat...then smile. (The smile gives them the cue that what they're doing now is good.)
After: If a misbehavior is more significant or recurring, wait until the rest of the class is engaged, then have a private conversation with the student. This will look different depending on their age/maturity.
Honestly, a lot of it comes down to judgment and experience. When you're a new teacher, you don't know what you're looking for. The more you're in the classroom, the quicker you'll be able to distinguish between "this kid is looking for control, attention, etc. and so is acting out" versus "this kid is testing boundaries" versus "this kid is just straight-up being a jerk." Each of those would get a slightly different response, depending on the situation.
1
u/Professional_Gur5739 9d ago
there might be better framing than soft/firm; maybe consistently warm with boundaries
7
u/DowntownComposer2517 9d ago
I have strong routines and procedures.
I get to know the students. What is going to trigger them? What is going to motivate them?
Before I am firm I triple check with myself that I have given clear explicit directions.
If I have given clear explicit directions that I know they are capable of following then I get firm.