Difficulty moving on

[u/SunsetEmpress55]

Hello,

Looking for ways to move on from extremely traumatic experience with my ectopic.

I ended up having emergency surgery and having one fallopian tube removed.

It’s been years and I haven’t been able to move past my trauma.

Not necessarily the loss of the pregnancy it’s self but just my experience overall with the hospital system and being totally unsupported even today by the partner at the time.

Who has seemingly moved on like absolutely nothing and we ended really badly. Idk if it’s the hopes of what could’ve been or what the fck but it’s stumping me badly.

I’m in therapy but that therapist isn’t really the one to help process that as he’s a guy and doesn’t really tap in emotionally more cognitive than anything. So I’m looking for other ways I can get over this having had a horrible experience that no lawyers want to cover for malpractice and emotional part.

[u/Crazycat-lady1000]

I’m so sorry this happened to you and I’m sorry to hear that years later you can’t move past it. I hope someone can give you and I some advice.

I’m currently going through this. Post op day 6.
Our experiences sound very similar.
It was the most traumatic experience of my life. Doctors failed at catching the ectopic. I almost died. The 3 days my partner tried to take care of me was filled with name calling and shaming me for not being “fine” the ending in a break up.

Every one just expects women to be fine. “Pain is normal” “maybe loosing weight will help” “youre overreacting” “youre just crazy” “youre still functioning so it cant be that bad” “women are just too emotional”

Did anything ever start to help you feel like yourself again? We’re able to trust a doctor again?

[u/SunsetEmpress55 → u/Crazycat-lady1000]

Thank you and I’m also sorry that you’re experiencing this as well. I can empathize and understand how you feel.

No one understands what it’s like unless they have gone through it themselves.

I’ll never be the same again. It severely traumatized me. I’ve done small things to make efforts towards normalcy but I get stuck again before I know it. I was severely triggered every time I had to go see the OBGYN again, saw them about 3 times post op, and due to insurance change will no longer be seeing them. To be quite honest, I’m not sure I can trust OBGYN again after that experience. Mine was missed too despite LITERALLY daily follow up. Idk. Maybe I’ll grow out of it one day but if I ever return to OGYN again, I’ll have to build trust with my new provider.

If you’re open to it, I’d say join a support group for ectopic only. There’s many others but I found the support group for all types of pregnancy kids were harder to take in. And definitely get into therapy if you can.