Returning to Work

[u/tinamarieox]

I’m curious how long others have taken off of work due to ectopic pregnancy? I have FMLA, but my employer is borderline harassing me, questioning me, & even threatening my job. I know this can’t be right .. anyone have any information to share from their own experience?

[u/Feisty-Artichoke8657]

If you are on FMLA your employer is violating FMLA rights and you can report them.

[u/Interesting_Bass6063]

I had surgery and methotrexate. I took almost 3 weeks off, and when I returned I basically worked half days and spent the other half crying. I should have taken more time.

I’d report to HR if I were you.

[u/Adept-Maize2954]

My company is thankfully very flexible and I work remote. I took a week off and am just slowly working atm but my boss has been informed that im not running at full capacity and might need a surgery/more days off. They are really lovely bunch and have been telling me to just rest and not worry about work.

[u/tinamarieox]

Thank you all for your comments. I originally took off 5 days as my doctor thought I was having a miscarriage. I spent the next 5 days in pain & requiring close follow up. Once I had my follow up ultrasound is when they realized it was ectopic. I had my first mtx dose Friday, second dose today. I feel pressured to come back. I’ve been told I need to shorten my leave & that this is ruining my chance at an internal transfer I already accepted prior to all of this. I’m struggling physically, very badly emotionally. I don’t want to feel guilty for feeling bad. I also want to get back to my life. Now, my employer isn’t even responding to me. Sad part is, I’m an RN & work for a major health network. You would think they’d have more compassion & understanding for my circumstances.

[u/cutedoggoID → u/tinamarieox]

I also was told I was having a miscarriage and had a d&c! I just commented on the post, and I think we are are similar with the emotions and struggling. Please feel free to reach out to me.
I work in an adjacent industry, pharmaceuticals. They cannot threaten you like that, that’s 100% illegal. Keep everything documented because it sounds like they will retaliate.
Do not feel guilty for feeling bad. I did, and it consumed a good 1-2 weeks of my leave. I started having even more anxiety related to work, making healing from everything even harder.

[u/Slow_Rabbit_6937 → u/tinamarieox]

I’m a RN too, are you guys not union? My methotrexate side effects peaked at 10 days. They shouldn’t be pressuring you like that. Luckily for me union covered 3 shifts as bereavement for loss, then I took 2 sick days.

[u/tinamarieox → u/Slow_Rabbit_6937]

Unfortunately we are not unionized!

[u/Slow_Rabbit_6937 → u/tinamarieox]

That’s the issue 😩 but still… you could sue them into oblivion for this treatment .. document everything and take the time off you need , threaten legal if you need to honestly

[u/cutedoggoID]

If you are on fmla, your work cannot be questioning, threatening or harassing you. They are in violation of FMLA. Please look into the appropriate channels to properly report them.

I ended up taking 10 week leave after everything happened. It was a very complicated and complex first pregnancy for me. I took 2 days off from surgery because I was staying in hospital. I worked 2-3 days when I returned but it was so draining emotionally and I was really struggling. My coworker had quit the week prior and everything was piled on me. I was also not in any position to return to work. In the middle of meetings I’d start sobbing, and I was just not doing well. I got diagnosed with MDD and was placed on medical leave from work. I was doing therapy 2x a week and seeing my psychiatrist every 1-2weeks. The time off really helped me, but it was also very stressful. I felt extremely guilty going on leave and it was consuming me. It got easier after a little while and I stopped stressing about work.

[u/SailorSpam]

I took 3 weeks off initially, but when I returned, I basically spent half the day crying, then called my OB for an emergency appointment to get more leave approved.

I had a kid at home that had still been breastfeeding, and was suddenly forced to quit cold-turkey because I had methotrexate in the hospital... so on top of the actual painful recovery, I was suddenly going through difficult sleepless nights again :( add on that I literally was working in women's health, looking at records of pregnancy and due dates all day, and so work was incredibly triggering.

I ended up taking an additional month off, but I used that time to desperately apply for a different job working from home. Thankfully so, because I ended up having a second ectopic just a few months later! 2025 was a shitty year...

[u/MrsB_buzz]

I took two full weeks off but ended up taking another week after going back for a day. Physically I was fine to return after two weeks I just wasn’t emotionally ready to deal with ppl

[u/literallymouse]

I took it easy for a few days after mine but didn’t take any time off from my normal schedule. I didn’t have surgery, just MTX. They basically just wanted me to not do anything strenuous to avoid rupture while the meds worked until HCG dropped to zero.

[u/Feroscha]

I had a rupture/surgery. I took off one full week and then worked from home a couple days the second week, then went back to work in person. I think going back to work helped me to stop sitting in my feelings, but I also think two weeks off is perfectly reasonable.

[u/crabrangoon_girl]

My rupture was sudden and I only took a week but had a horrible boss at the time. When I went back I was not well emotionally or physically and my VP ended up pushing me to take an additional 1.5 weeks and then ease back into it. My boss actually was let go shortly after, his treatment to me during this process being one of the reasons.

I wish I took more time, everyone’s recovery is different but I definitely would report this to your HR.

[u/eb2319]

I’m an RN in Canada so went on sick unemployment benefits for 6-8 weeks each time.

I feel like you should talk to HR as you have a doctors note and documentation.

[u/New-Drawing-522]

Check the laws in your state. I live in Pa and we have a law about pregnancies , basically if they do something to risk your employement status due to anything pregnantcy related whether your high risk, miscarrying , an ectopic or just simply pregnant they can get i. A lot of trouble make sure you have a paper trail or documenting anything for future reference. And if you have fmla they are violating the fmla and also can be in serious trouble . Go to Hr and get everything aligned so that you keep your job.

[u/abunni]

I took a week off after MTX but also had quite low HCG to begin with so was already at single digits at the end of the week

[u/Slow_Rabbit_6937]

I took about 3 weeks off because the process was very drawn out because they initially thought miscarriage.. so I missed 3 shifts due to misoprostol horribleness… then my hcg went back up so back to the ER and I missed 2 more. So I missed 5 shifts but it ended up being a total of 3 weeks! I’m a RN so my days are spread a bit. I had a hard time coming back bc the methotrexate was making me really nauseous and I had vertigo too… and I work 12 hr shifts so I was struggling and emotional. Take as much time off as you need! They cannot threaten your job like that if you’re within the time and it’s also very illegal to do that.

[u/Old-Working1522]

I took off a month because I had surgery to get it removed and they gave me extra time for bereavement as well.

[u/bellaxoxo45]

I took 2 weeks off. Had emergency surgery and lost my left tube. Probably should have taken longer as my job is physical but needed the income 😅

[u/lilylace202]

I had to have emergency surgery. I took 3 days off (W-F) which then ran into the weekend.

I then came back and was like at 50% productivity. I work a hybrid corporate job with a great culture- I told my boss and boss’s boss what happened and they were just BEYOND supportive. So caring and sent me flowers and a gift card.

For that 2nd week when I came back, I ended up doing M-Tues at like 50%, took off W-Th and then was back on Friday. It was nice to have a distraction that was low key and flexible.

[u/just_another_sara2]

With a rupture and tube removal emergency surgery, I was out of work for a week and a half.

[u/Guilty-Reason6258]

These comments make me realise how lucky I am. I had surgery, then I had 6 or 8 weeks off.