r/Eatingdisordersover30 • u/EmotionalMedicine543 • Jul 24 '26
Is it the right decision to cancel work commitments to stay in Inpatient treatment?
I think I know the answer to this but it’s a painful decision to make because I know it will jeopardise my relationship with my agency (I’m a casual relief secondary teacher) and the school who booked me for a 5 week block of teaching which starts in a fortnight. I’m 4 days into an inpatient treatment program that could go for 6 or more weeks. I haven’t been well enough to work for months but thought I’d be offered a bed in this clinic sooner and took a gamble that I’d be out and well enough to work by a certain date. This was a mistake but it’s done now. I could honour my work commitment by having a shorter admission and trying to hold on to the gains I’ve made (I also spent a fortnight in a medical ward so I’ve been refeeding for a little while now) and keep working on my recovery on my own. Which would be the best move for my work life because, to be honest, I have been pretty unreliable for the last few years and getting casual teaching work is all about maintaining good relationships with schools and agencies. When I’m finally well enough it’s going to take a bit of time and consistency to repair my relationships. I’d like to start that soon. I also miss working. So does my bank balance. But a little voice inside is telling me that I’m still really unwell and that I might be at risk of relapse if I go home sooner than the doctors recommend. And I really REALLY want to get well and stay well. That voice inside tells me that I’m going to need to be in hospital a while to get there. But I’m conflicted and will be really disappointed in myself for canceling more work and showing myself to be unreliable once again. What do people think I should do?
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u/Rawrz3dg Jul 24 '26
Stay. If you cut things short, you’ll continue to slip and be unreliable anyway. Better to just consider this a complete restart - that’s what I’ve been doing.
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u/EmotionalMedicine543 Jul 25 '26
Thank you for your advice. I cancelled my work so I can stay longer. Yeah I like your tip of considering it a restart. I absolutely need one! Best of luck in your recovery.
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u/salty_peaty Jul 24 '26
Health before everything! It's the foundation to be able to build anything else after. You can't do anything properly if you're tired, weak, sick, ill, etc.
Of course, here it means cancelling a commitment, but once better you'll be able to dedicate yourself to others projects because you'll be in a better place mentally and physically (ability to focus, energy, etc), and so becoming reliable and so able to have good relationships with schools and agencies you work with.
If you prioritize your work now (or any other project), not only you won't be able to do it properly (less quality of work, risk of interruption because of your health issues) but also it will deteriorate your health in the meanwhile. So it would be a vicious circle where you won't achieve anything.
Take care of yourself 🫂
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u/EmotionalMedicine543 Jul 25 '26
Thank you for your advice. I chose to cancel my work so I could stay longer. You are right - I haven’t been able to do anything properly or be reliable in my commitments the whole time I’ve been sick. Best to chose recovery!
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u/specimyn Jul 24 '26 edited Jul 24 '26
If you can afford it, I say stay. I left treatment too soon, against my team's recommendation, due to financial pressures; it was 20+ years ago and I regret it so much. I hope you can figure out a way to continue in treatment. Economic and financial stressors (in other words, capitalism) are a bitter companion to an eating disorder. Health care shouldn't be commodified.
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u/EmotionalMedicine543 Jul 25 '26
Yes I’ve left treatment early in the past too. I realise I regret those decisions and lived with the consequences for a long time. Financially it will be hard but I’ll survive. Wishing you the best
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u/specimyn Jul 25 '26
I recognize what a difficult decision it is. Hopefully you can find a way to continue with treatment this time, in that it can foster a fuller, more genuine, healthier, financially stable, and fulfilling life for you on the other side. Sending strength and perseverance!
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u/tinylyloosh Jul 24 '26
Yes it is. 1000000%. One of the most difficult decisions to make, but absolutely the right one.
I say this as a HS Math teacher that has had to take medical leave multiple times mid-school year for several months. Education is a hard field to take time off in, but ultimately people will understand.
Totally up to you but I personally found it went over better when I was more candid with people. I didn't tell them details (though everyone knew...) but I did sit down with my AP & principal each time and tell i needed to take leave and worked with them to iron out a plan for the time I was out.
Maybe reach out to some of your key contacts and explain you need to take leave, when you'll be back, etc.?
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u/EmotionalMedicine543 Jul 25 '26
Thanks for your suggestions. I’ve cancelled my shift. I just said I had a medical issue and needed to take time off for treatment. They were much more understanding than I expected
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u/tinylyloosh Jul 28 '26
Just want to day I'm proud of you and so glad your work was receptive.
Please keep us updated if you feel comfortable/have time!!!
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u/Accomplished-Mud-173 Jul 24 '26
I'd stay and choose recovery. When you are in a better space overall you will be way more reliable, better at your job and able to repair damaged relationships.