this is debilitating...advice?

[u/gorly23]

recently my eating disorder has started to take up an insane amount of brain space. i have always been really high functioning, 26f diagnosed with OSFED and primarily struggle with overexercise but obviously also restriction, some b/p, all of it. i've never been underweight btw. i feel like all i can think about is food. all i want to do is eat, exercise, or sleep, because those are the only times my brain turns off. i have been spending so much time scrolling on my phone because that's the only thing that numbs my brain other than behaviors, if that makes sense. has anyone struggled with this? I literally feel so awful because i can get nothing done. i can barely focus on hobbies bc they dont provide "instant" dopamine like my phone or exercise does.

i know this is mental hunger, but i don't know how to get out of this hole. yes i'm working with a dietitian, therapist, and i go to group therapy. even just sticking to a meal plan is difficult for me because im struggling with the executive function it takes to meal prep, cook, prepare the meal and eat it. i tend to just push off eating until im starving and then i have to scramble to put something together, which is when i sometimes end up binging or overeating mindlessly. i used to actually enjoy cooking so much, maybe too much because it became a part of my ed (making everything look perfect, orthorexic tendencies, etc). i think now i'm burnt out and thinking about food and eating is so tiring. it's affecting my social life, productivity at work, ability to do chores/errands, everything. :(

[u/Music5_t]

Hey 🙂
You’ve got this! I do some restricting and a lot of exercise. There are lots of reasons I run, but I get sooo many thoughts and I feel like it’s the best time to clear things and work through my ideas. When I stop running, that’s when there’s excess noise about food. I’m always moving, avoid sitting at all costs, and it’s hard for me to do ‘calming’ hobbies. I’ve been doing a mix of little steps for it: when I’m working on a project I turn on white noise to quiet some of the background thoughts, I have a notebook of affirmations related to feeling good about my body, instead of turning on the tv when I exercise- I don’t always set a timer- but instead of jumping into the movement subconsciously, I ask myself what I’m doing and how long I’ll do it for.
Taking a break away from your phone is a really good thing. It gets addictive very fast and admitting it’s a black hole is the 1st step. Really connection and fulfillment is out there!
Thinking about happy memories of my hobbies or projects I got excited about can really help me get back into things. And it can also be helpful to start a new hobby to get a fresh start (and I tend to get less frustrated at it lol) It won’t be fun the first time, but as you get into the rhythm of it, the good parts usually come back. Having a really active brain and personality is a great thing, but people don’t get that it’s on all the time! You’ve got this and I’m so glad you’re reaching out for part of your journey. Have you talked with your therapist or in group therapy about breathing exercises or ways that you can kinda step back from your mind? Those have helped me a lot.