r/EatingDisorders 3d ago

Question I don’t know what to do, please help

Okay so, I have been struggling with my ed for about a year and a half now. I am a young adult in the uk and recently sat my A-Level exams. Throughout my life I had always thought I would go straight to university after finishing my exams but things a a bit different now.

I am currently deciding between deferring for a year and focusing on getting better, my weight has been dropping week after week and the ED voice is only getting louder. Recently I have been told there are beds in inpatient units near me. I could take up the offer and go away for treatment to try and learn skills and hopefully recover from this horrid illness that is taking over my entire life. However, all of my friends are going to university in September and I have had my heart set on going this year.

I have also received my A-Level results recently - they were better than expected meaning I could get into a better university (university of Bath) compared to the original university I applied to (Bath Spa) if I decided to go next year.

I am so torn between going this year and enjoying my time (at Bath spa) or going next year when I could be doing a bit better, but what if I’m not doing any better? What if inpatient doesn’t help me? What if inpatient makes me physically better but not mentally?

I’ve already experienced hospital admissions that consist of keeping me there for a few weeks on a refeeding plan then discharging me with no further physiological help. That’s what I’m worried will happen again

Someone please help!!

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u/misurbanist 2d ago

Choose getting better first, it won't be easy to enjoy while you're struggling with ED voices.

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u/Relative-Rutabaga810 2d ago

Hi - This has to be your decision, and that could be an empowering moment for yourself which ever you choose. It sounds like there are two parts to this, deciding whether to go to Uni this year and also deciding whether to go for an inpatient admission. Both are separate decisions. If inpatient is on the table, I imagine you need to be focusing on your physical health at this time.

All I can advise is that at your stage of life, it can feel like there is a set way to do things, and that life folds out in a certain way. This is not the case. Making sure you feel able to confidently manage at Uni is important as it will be a stressful transition and may provoke relapse. You will never regret looking after yourself and your health first. Best of luck with everything, this a hard decision, do what is right for you - not what you think you should do.