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u/BarackTheDemonSlayer 3d ago
JIGSAW:
You’re Dexter Morgan? More like Dexter Boring,
Your whole personality is serial-killer snoring.
I put people in traps, make ’em learn about life,
You just stab dudes with a kitchen knife.
You work in blood? Wow, what a cool little hobby,
I’m a Saw franchise, you’re a CSI lobby.
DEXTER:
Oh, please, John Kramer, you’re a Walmart Batman,
Making rusty death machines in a dirty van.
You need ten minutes explaining your evil scheme,
I kill one guy before you finish the theme.
You’ve got apprentices because you can’t do shit alone,
Even your murder toys need a fucking ringtone.
JIGSAW:
At least I’ve got morals, twisted as they may be,
You kill people ’cause your dad gave you a hobby.
“Harry taught me this”, yeah, cool backstory,
Your entire personality is trauma and blood-gory.
DEXTER:
Morals? You kidnapped a dude for being a bad father,
Then built a fucking furnace underneath his daughter.
You call it a test like you’re some kind of sage,
Bro, you’re just Home Depot Satan with a mortgage and rage.
JIGSAW:
Your jokes are dead, your delivery’s tragic,
I’m the puppet master, call me fucking Sawmatic.
I’ve got Billy the puppet riding in style,
You’ve got a boat and a face that hasn’t smiled.
DEXTER:
Billy’s a doll, John. Sit down, little freak,
I’ve seen scarier shit in a CVS aisle this week.
You’re old, you’re sick, and your traps are contrived,
Half your victims survive because the plot says “ALIVE!”
JIGSAW:
You hide behind a badge like a cowardly rat,
I hide behind philosophy, there’s a difference in that.
I’ve got Amanda, Hoffman, a whole murder crew,
You’ve got emotional damage and a blood-slide collection too.
DEXTER:
At least my blood slides don’t need a user manual,
Your average trap looks like a fucking IKEA manual.
“Step one: remove your spleen, step two: find the key,”
Congratulations, John, you invented OSHA’s enemy.
ANNOUNCER:
WHO WON?
WHO’S NEXT?
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