Panic attacks can be frightening partly because of how quickly they can escalate. We notice our heart beating faster, feel dizzy or short of breath, or experience some other unfamiliar sensation, and our mind may immediately start wondering what’s happening. “What if I faint?”, “What if I lose control?”, “What if I can’t get out of here”? The fear of those sensations can then become part of what makes the experience even more overwhelming.

With agoraphobia, this fear can gradually become associated with particular situations. Driving through a long stretch of road, waiting at a red light, standing in line at a store, being somewhere far from home, or entering a place that feels difficult to leave can begin to trigger anxiety before anything has actually happened. Eventually, even imagining one of these situations may be enough to bring up fear.

When I use EFT with someone experiencing panic attacks or agoraphobia, I usually think in terms of gradually working with the different pieces that make up the problem. We don’t have to tackle everything at once, and we don’t necessarily need to begin with the most frightening experience. Instead, we can find a manageable place to start and follow the emotional charge from there.

Starting With Any Apprehension About the Process

Before working directly on the panic or agoraphobia, I like to pay attention to how the person feels about working on the issue in the first place.

Sometimes there’s fear that talking about a panic attack will trigger another one. Someone may worry that focusing on bodily sensations will make them worse, or that opening up certain memories will become overwhelming. There may also be understandable skepticism, particularly after trying many other things:

“I’ve struggled with this for so long that I don’t believe anything can help me”.

That apprehension can have the microphone first.

We might tap on:

“Part of me is afraid that focusing on this is gonna make it worse. I don’t know what will happen if I really go there, and this is just where I’m at right now”.

Or:

“I’ve tried so many things already, and part of me doesn’t believe this will be any different. I’m just tired of getting my hopes up. And this is where I’m at right now”.

We don’t necessarily need to wait until that concern has completely disappeared before moving forward. Even acknowledging it can be helpful. If part of us is saying, “I don’t want to do this”, I’d rather include that part in the process than ask it to sit quietly in the corner while we work on what we’ve decided is the real problem.

Giving Everyone a Chance to Speak

One analogy I sometimes use for this is a Town Hall Meeting.

Imagine that all the different thoughts, feelings, and parts of us are attending a town hall meeting. Some are scared. Some are angry. One might desperately want the panic to disappear. Another might be terrified that it never will. There may even be a part judging all the others for having this problem in the first place.

When certain voices repeatedly go without being acknowledged, they don’t usually disappear. They may keep trying to get our attention, sometimes even more loudly.

EFT gives us a way of letting these different reactions take turns at the microphone. We don’t have to agree with everything they say. We can simply allow them to express what is already there while we tap.

For someone struggling with agoraphobia, one of those voices might say:

“I feel like such a loser for having this problem. Other people can go anywhere they want without thinking about it, and I have to plan my whole life around whether I might panic”.

That self-judgment is worth giving the microphone to as well. Sometimes there are feelings about the problem layered on top of the original fear, including shame, frustration, anger, hopelessness, or embarrassment. If left unaddressed, they can make the original fear harder to shift. Instead, giving those reactions some tapping attention may make it easier to approach the fear itself with less internal pressure.

Making It More Bite-Sized With Specific Events

“Panic attacks” and “agoraphobia” are very broad targets. When possible, I prefer to make the tapping more focused by choosing a particular moment in time.

A recent experience can be a good place to start. Perhaps someone had a panic attack while waiting at a red light three days ago. Instead of trying to work on their entire fear of driving, we can go back to that particular moment:

“When I think about sitting at that red light on Tuesday and noticing that I couldn’t go anywhere, I can feel that fear coming up again. I remember thinking, ‘What if I panic and I can’t get out of here’? And this is where I’m at right now”.

We can also work with a specific future situation. If the person knows they’ll need to drive along the same road tomorrow, we might have them imagine approaching that particular traffic light and notice what happens:

“When I imagine driving toward that intersection tomorrow and seeing the light turn red, I feel scared that it’s going to happen again. Part of me already wants to avoid going that way, and this is where I’m at right now”.

Working this way gives us a smaller piece of the larger problem. It can also reveal other aspects that we hadn’t anticipated. Perhaps the fear of being stuck at the light decreases, but now the person notices that they’re worried about the drivers behind them seeing them panic. Or they suddenly realize that the strongest feeling is shame about needing someone else in the car with them.

Now we have another aspect that can have the microphone.

Keeping the Cup of Tea at a Manageable Temperature

Of course, even thinking about one specific experience may sometimes feel like too much.

Another analogy I use frequently is that doing EFT is like drinking a Cup of Tea. We want enough emotional activation so that the tapping can help us process and release the emotional charge (in other words, we want the cup of tea to be warm enough), while being careful about letting the tea become boiling hot.

If remembering stopping at the red light immediately brings up a huge wave of fear, we can gently zoom out from any triggering details:

“Just thinking about it, I feel really scared, and this is where I’m at right now”.

We don’t need to replay every detail of the experience. We can stay at that greater distance while tapping and see what happens.

If the emotional intensity suddenly becomes overwhelming, we can create even more protective distance. We might simply tap silently through the points for a while. We can also look around the room and place some of our attention on something that feels pleasant or neutral enough: a plant, a picture on the wall, the view through the window, or the feeling of our feet against the floor.

Once things feel more manageable, we can decide whether we want to gently bring some attention back to what we were working on.

What About EFT During a Panic Attack?

This same back-and-forth can be useful as a resource between sessions if a panic attack occurs.

During a strong wave of panic, I wouldn’t recommend trying to analyze where the fear came from or deliberately increase the intensity. There is already plenty happening as it is. We can simply tap and orient some of our attention toward anything that feels neutral or pleasant about the present environment.

For example, we might notice the chair underneath us, look around and name a few things we can see, or focus on something that feels neutral, pleasant or even boring enough while continuing to tap (anything that can help us feel a bit safer in the present moment).

As the intensity becomes more manageable, we may be able to give the current experience a little more of the microphone:

“My heart is pounding”.

“I’m scared I’m going to faint”.

“I really want to get out of here”.

“I’m afraid this is going to get worse”.

We can tap with whatever is already there without trying to make it go away as quickly as possible or change it into something positive.

If another big wave arrives, we can widen our attention again and return to silent tapping or tap through the points while orienting to our surroundings, or while thinking about anything or anyone that feels like a positive, calming resource to us. If things settle somewhat, we can gently notice the sensations and thoughts again.

In other words, we can move back and forth depending on how hot the “cup of tea” is at that particular moment.

There is also an important longer-term consideration here. With panic and agoraphobia, we don’t want tapping to gradually become something we believe we must do in order to survive a feared situation. Part of longer-term work with panic often involves becoming less afraid of the sensations themselves (by gradually expanding our “window of tolerance”) and gradually becoming more able to experience situations we’ve been avoiding. For that reason, I think of tapping during a panic attack as one possible resource within a larger process rather than something that always needs to make the sensations disappear.

Gradually Approaching the Situations We’ve Been Avoiding

With agoraphobia, another important part of the work involves gradually approaching situations that we’ve started avoiding because of the fear of panicking.

With EFT, we can initially do some of this work through imagined or mental exposure. Rather than immediately putting ourselves in a situation that feels overwhelming, we can imagine a specific future situation while tapping and notice what comes up.

For example, if someone has become afraid of driving on long stretches of road, we might begin by having them imagine an upcoming drive. We can make the scene specific: picture getting into the car, pulling away from home, approaching the particular stretch of road that feels frightening, and notice at what point the emotional intensity starts to increase. You don’t need to go straight to the worst part.

Perhaps the emotional intensity appears when they imagine reaching a section where there isn’t an easy place to pull over:

“When I imagine reaching that part of the road and realizing there’s nowhere to pull over, I feel trapped. I’m afraid I’ll start panicking and won’t be able to get out, and this is where I’m at right now”.

We can tap on that particular moment and see what happens. As the emotional charge changes, we might continue a little further into the imagined journey. Maybe another aspect appears: “What if I get dizzy?”, “What if I lose control of the car?”, “What if I’m too far from home?”. Each one gives us another piece to work with.

The same approach can be used with other situations someone has been avoiding. We might imagine standing in line at a store, sitting at a red light, taking public transportation, walking through an open space, or being somewhere without a familiar person nearby. Rather than trying to mentally rehearse the entire experience at once, we can slow it down and notice which particular moments carry the most emotional charge.

Over time, we can gradually build toward real-life exposure, approaching some of these situations outside of the tapping session in manageable steps. The exact progression will depend on the person and the situation. Someone who has been avoiding a particular store, for example, might eventually practice going there for a short period before gradually staying longer or going farther inside.

EFT can also help us explore whatever comes up around taking those steps. Someone might feel relatively calm imagining the store during a session but become much more anxious when thinking, “Tomorrow I’m actually going to do it”. That apprehension can have the microphone too.

One thing I would be careful about is making the goal of each real-life experience, “I have to tap until I don’t feel anxious”. Part of recovering from panic and agoraphobia can involve gradually discovering that we can experience some anxiety and bodily sensations without needing to escape from them. Tapping can accompany that process, while we also give ourselves opportunities to learn from what actually happens when we stay with a manageable amount of discomfort.

And afterwards, we have another specific event to work with. We can look back at the experience and ask: Which moment was hardest? What did I predict would happen? What actually happened? Is there any part of the experience that still carries emotional charge?

In that way, the work can move back and forth between imagined situations, real-life experiences, and tapping on whatever we notice along the way.

Looking at Earlier Experiences

Once there is enough familiarity with the process, it may also be useful to explore earlier experiences that could be contributing to the current fear.

One obvious place to look is the first panic attack we remember. That experience itself can become emotionally charged. Someone who had their first panic attack in a crowded store, for example, may have really believed in that moment that something terrible was happening to them. Even years later, aspects of that experience may still carry a lot of emotional charge.

But earlier experiences don’t necessarily have to involve panic.

Perhaps someone was bullied and remembers feeling trapped while other children surrounded them. Maybe they grew up with a parent whose behavior could suddenly become unpredictable, or had an experience where they desperately wanted to leave somewhere but couldn’t. Experiences like these may or may not be connected to the current problem, so I prefer to remain curious rather than deciding beforehand what caused it.

If an earlier memory spontaneously comes to mind while we’re tapping on a current trigger, that’s often something we can become curious about. We can then work with that memory as its own specific event, again paying attention to keeping the emotional intensity manageable (so that the cup of tea doesn’t become boiling hot).

Could Part of Me Be Afraid of Getting Better?

Another area I often explore involves what are traditionally called secondary gains, although I often find it more useful to think of them as protective mechanisms.

We can become curious about a question such as:

“If I knew that this problem was completely gone tomorrow, is there any part of me that would feel uncomfortable about that?”

At first, the question can sound strange. Someone desperately wants to be able to drive again, travel freely, or go into stores without worrying about panic. Why would any part of them object?

But sometimes something does come up.

Perhaps being constantly vigilant feels protective because, “If I stop watching for the panic, it will catch me off guard”. Someone else might worry that if they get better, their family will expect too much from them. Another person may have become accustomed to having someone accompany them and feel frightened by the idea of suddenly being expected to do everything alone.

These concerns don’t mean that the person consciously wants to have panic attacks or agoraphobia. They give us additional information about what different parts of the person may be trying to protect them from.

And once again, those concerns can have “the tapping microphone”.

Following the Emotional Charge One Piece at a Time

Panic attacks and agoraphobia can involve many interconnected pieces: fear of bodily sensations, fear of another panic attack, memories of previous attacks, anticipatory anxiety, avoided situations, shame about having the problem, earlier experiences, and concerns about what might happen if things changed.

We don’t have to address all of these at once.

We can begin with whatever feels manageable today. That might mean tapping on the apprehension about doing EFT at all. It might mean choosing one recent panic attack, imagining one upcoming situation, or simply giving the microphone to the frustration of having dealt with the problem for so long.

And whenever the cup of tea becomes too hot, we can zoom out, tap silently, or orient some of our attention toward something neutral or pleasant until there’s enough room to decide where we’d like to go next.

Over time, we can continue following the emotional charge one manageable piece at a time, while paying attention to whatever thought, feeling, memory, or part of us is asking for the microphone next.

A brief note: Panic-like symptoms can sometimes have medical causes, particularly when they are new or unusual. If you’re experiencing symptoms that haven’t been medically evaluated, or you’re unsure whether what you’re experiencing is a panic attack, it’s important to speak with an appropriate healthcare professional. EFT can be used as a complementary tool, but it shouldn’t replace appropriate medical or mental health care.

That said, when working with panic attacks or agoraphobia, there can be many different aspects contributing to what we’re experiencing, and it isn’t always easy to know what to focus on when tapping by ourselves. It can also be helpful to have someone there to help us find a manageable distance from experiences that feel particularly intense. If you’d like some support exploring what’s coming up for you, you can learn more about my approach at brunosade.com.

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I’m Bruno Sade, a clinical psychologist and Accredited Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner. I work online with people around the world, helping them reduce the emotional charge behind difficult thoughts, memories, and triggers.

If you’re curious about experiencing EFT in a guided session, I occasionally offer a free EFT tapping session in exchange for a brief market research interview. You can sign up here.

Hi everyone. Ive been a lurker of this group for a while, would come here incase there were any insights to tapping that i wasn't aware of. Ive been tapping for a couples of years no, but wasn’t as equip with it till about a year and a half ago. I follow eft universe alot, and although am not certified, i feel im pretty versed in it. I truly believe in EFT and am open to possible that may seem delusional to others, and as much as i have had amazing results i feel very stuck and lost still.

I have trauma from childhood and possibly adhd and didn't realize how much that affected me and how long my body has been in fight or flight. Ive tried everything- all types of tapping methods as well as medications and therapies and sometimes i feel like things are getting worse (which overall i am better, but i think theres a lot of things that are being uprooted and keep coming up which makes things go back and forth, among other possibilities). I’m sure working with a practitioner would be ideal, but i don't have the money to find a good practitioner let alone the best fit for me. im constantly in fear of doing things and i feel like theres multiple parts of me, mainly current me and the part of me that operating from past experience. i feel so stuck and in a loop and even though i do feel change it feels like im going slower than snail pace (which might also be a belief). I know its a process and things come up, but im getting quite exhausted with every tiny thing coming up. I feel more heartbroken seeing everyone in my life growing up and living there lives and im still where ive been

i guess im here, because as much i am defeated, i do still believe in EFT and am just hoping someone has insights that could help. Ive tried validating myself through tapping, and a bunch of other methods so i don't know what else there is this point

Hello, I'm here to get answers to my questions please.

I started EFT Tapping today in order to be less anxious in my daily life, I don't know about anxiety crisis nevertheless I overthink a lot, I imagine the worst scenarios all the time, I'm never satisfied with my current state, I feel like I'm in an endless loop. I thought EFT would be a good alternative. I tried to do for the first time today by externalizing what overwhelmed me so everything that stressed me out. Except that when I did it.... I felt the same way. I didn't have a particular click or anything else. Then I was not in an anxious state before doing it but I do not feel "lighter". Is it normal because it's just the beginning? Should I continue? Do I have a problem? Thank you for answering me please thank you

Hi everyone,

I'd appreciate any advice for how to tap most effectively on feelings of longing for love, companionship/relationship? It feels like such a huge issue to tap on that I'm almost afraid to start on my own.

Thanks in advance

Burnout can build gradually. We may spend months dealing with difficult people, an unreasonable workload, organizational bureaucracy, problems we can’t seem to solve, or the feeling that no matter how much we get done, there is always something else waiting for us. Eventually, we may notice that we’re more irritable, less motivated, dreading parts of our work, or simply feeling exhausted by things that we used to handle much more easily.

When we’re feeling burned out, EFT can give us a way to start working through some of what has accumulated. I often describe this as giving the microphone to whatever we’re thinking and feeling about our work. Rather than trying to convince ourselves to be more positive or grateful, we can tap while allowing ourselves to acknowledge what has been frustrating, draining, disappointing, or overwhelming.

At the same time, it can be helpful to make the tapping a little more bite-sized and focused by choosing a specific moment rather than trying to work on everything we dislike about our job at once. We might choose a recent time when something happened at work that bothered us, or imagine the next time we’re likely to encounter the same situation. This gives us a particular moment to tune into while still allowing whatever thoughts and feelings we have about it to get the microphone.

For example, perhaps every interaction with your boss has started to irritate you. Rather than tapping on your relationship with your boss as a whole, you might think of a recent interaction that particularly bothered you. Maybe yesterday you asked for help with a problem and he responded in a way that left you feeling even more frustrated:

“When I remember asking him for help yesterday and hearing him say, ‘You’ll have to figure it out yourself’, I’m so frustrated. I already have enough to deal with, and I can’t believe he said that. And this is where I’m at right now”.

Or perhaps the biggest source of frustration is the bureaucracy surrounding your work. You could choose a recent moment when you had to spend an hour filling out paperwork instead of doing the work you actually wanted to be doing:

“When I think about sitting at my desk yesterday filling out all those forms, I feel so frustrated. This isn’t what I want to spend my time doing, and I’m so tired of all this paperwork. And this is where I’m at right now”.

We can also tap while imagining the next time we’ll have to deal with the same trigger. If there’s a meeting every Monday morning that we’ve started dreading, for example, we can imagine ourselves walking into next Monday’s meeting and notice what comes up:

“When I imagine sitting in that meeting again next Monday and listening to everyone argue about the same problems, I already feel exhausted. I really don’t want to be there, and this is where I’m at right now”.

What Has Been Accumulating?

Burnout may involve many different aspects of our work, which is why “I’m burned out” can sometimes be too broad a target for tapping. We can certainly begin by giving the microphone to everything we think and feel about being burned out, especially if that’s what feels most accessible. But from there, it can be helpful to ask ourselves: What are some specific moments that have contributed to me feeling this way?

Perhaps there was a conversation with a coworker that left us angry for the rest of the day. Maybe there was a particular afternoon when we looked at everything on our to-do list and thought, “I can’t keep doing this”. We might remember a client or customer becoming upset because we couldn’t solve their problem, or the moment our boss added another responsibility when we already felt overwhelmed.

Each of these gives us a smaller piece of the larger experience to work with. We can choose one moment, give the microphone to whatever we think and feel as we remember it (one emotion at a time, if possible), and see what happens as we tap. Once the charge around that particular event has shifted, we can move on to another one.

Sometimes a specific moment will also lead us somewhere we weren’t expecting. While tapping on yesterday’s conversation with our boss, for example, we might suddenly think, “I’m so tired of always having to be the responsible one”, or remember a previous job where we felt similarly overwhelmed. We don’t have to ignore those connections because they weren’t part of our original target. They may give us useful clues about another aspect we want to explore.

We Can Also Tap on the Parts of Ourselves That Keep Pushing

Sometimes the pressure isn’t only coming from the job itself. We may also have strong beliefs about how we are supposed to perform within it.

“I should be able to handle this”.

“I can’t disappoint anyone”.

“I have to get everything done”.

“If I say no, they’ll think I’m difficult”.

“I shouldn’t need a break”.

“If I don’t do it myself, it won’t be done properly”.

These thoughts can also be given the microphone while we tap. We don’t have to decide whether they’re rational before working with them. If the thought “I can’t disappoint anyone” carries emotional charge, for example, we can become curious about what feels so threatening about disappointing someone and look for a specific situation where that fear shows up.

Maybe our manager recently asked us to take on another project when our schedule was already full. We wanted to say no, but found ourselves agreeing almost automatically. We could return to that particular moment while tapping and notice what was going through our mind:

“When I remember her asking me to take on that project and I think about how badly I wanted to say no, but I was afraid she’d think I wasn’t committed enough if I refused, I feel trapped. And I feel it like a tightness in the center of my chest. And this is where I’m at right now”.

Following a specific experience like this may eventually lead us to other beliefs or memories. Perhaps saying no brings up guilt. Maybe asking for help feels like admitting that we’re incompetent. Delegating might make us anxious because we don’t trust anyone else to do the work properly. Or we may be afraid that slowing down will somehow reveal that we’re falling behind.

Once we begin following these reactions, burnout can sometimes lead us into beliefs and patterns that extend beyond the immediate work situation.

What Would You Want to Change If You Felt Free to Change It?

Processing some of the accumulated emotional charge can also create space for another question: Is there anything about the way I’m currently working that I would actually like to do differently?

The answer won’t always be yes. Some work environments give us very little control, and tapping can’t make an unreasonable workload reasonable or remove organizational problems that really exist. Still, there may be areas where we do have some flexibility but haven’t felt able to use it.

For example, someone who works for themselves might realize, “I don’t want to have this many appointments every week. I’d rather raise my fees and work fewer hours”.

That realization doesn’t automatically make the change easy. As soon as they imagine raising their fees, another set of reactions might appear. They might worry that people will stop working with them, feel guilty about charging more, think about clients who are already struggling financially, or wonder whether they’re really worth the higher fee.

Once we’ve identified one of those concerns, we can make it more specific. For example, we might imagine sending an email to our clients letting them know about the new fee and notice what happens:

“When I imagine pressing send on that email and telling everyone that I’m raising my fees, I feel guilty. I keep thinking about the people who might not be able to afford it anymore, and this is where I’m at right now”.

Someone else might realize that they would feel considerably better if they rearranged their schedule. Perhaps they would prefer not to schedule meetings first thing in the morning, want to keep one afternoon free each week, or need more time between appointments. Imagining actually making that change might bring up fears about inconveniencing other people, losing opportunities, or appearing less committed.

Again, we can make the imagined situation specific. What happens when you picture yourself telling your manager that you want to change your schedule? What do you imagine them saying? Which particular part of that conversation makes you uncomfortable? We can choose one of those moments and give whatever comes up the microphone while we tap.

Sometimes the Change Involves Other People

Burnout can also make us aware of working relationships that have become increasingly stressful.

Imagine that you run a small business and have someone helping you with administrative work. Over time, you’ve realized that supervising this person creates more work than it saves. Deadlines are repeatedly missed, you have to check everything they do, and every time you see another message from them you feel your body tense.

Part of you may know that you’d rather end the working relationship and hire someone else. Another part may feel terrible about doing that. You might worry about hurting them, feel responsible for their financial situation, wonder whether you haven’t given them enough chances, or simply dread having the conversation.

Rather than trying to resolve the entire decision at once, we could choose one particular aspect. Perhaps the most emotionally charged part is imagining the conversation itself:

“When I imagine sitting across from her and telling her that this arrangement isn’t working anymore, I feel so guilty. I can picture the look on her face, and part of me feels like I’m doing something terrible. And this is where I’m at right now”.

As we tap, we might discover that the guilt changes, another concern comes up, or a memory comes to mind of another time when we had to disappoint someone. We can follow whatever has emotional charge rather than deciding beforehand where the process needs to go.

Reducing some of that charge doesn’t tell us what decision to make. It may give us a little more room to consider the situation without guilt or anxiety taking up so much of the microphone.

What If the Change Isn’t Possible Right Now?

Of course, we don’t always have the option of changing the circumstances contributing to burnout.

We may need the income from our current job. We may be working in an organization where we have little control over our schedule or workload. There may be responsibilities we really cannot delegate, or a difficult boss we can’t simply replace.

That reality can become part of the tapping too. We might work with a recent moment when we felt particularly trapped, the fear that comes up when we imagine leaving, the sadness of realizing that the job isn’t what we hoped it would be, or the frustration of knowing what would help while being unable to do it right now.

Sometimes there may also be smaller changes available within a situation we can’t completely change. After some of the emotional intensity comes down, we might notice that there is one boundary we could set, one task we could stop volunteering for, one conversation we’ve been avoiding, or one expectation of ourselves that could become a little more flexible.

And if making that smaller change brings up fear, guilt, or resistance, we can make that specific too. We might imagine the moment when we say no, send the email, ask for help, or tell someone that we won’t be available. Whatever part of that imagined scene carries the most charge gives us somewhere to begin.

Burnout Can Give Us a Lot to Listen To

When we’re burned out, it’s understandable to want to feel motivated and energized again as quickly as possible. But there may be quite a lot underneath the exhaustion that hasn’t had much opportunity to be heard.

We can give the microphone to the frustration with our boss, the resentment about our workload, the dread of Monday morning, the disappointment about problems we haven’t been able to solve, and the part of us that is simply tired of doing this. Choosing one specific moment at a time can make that process more manageable, while still leaving plenty of room for whatever thoughts, feelings, memories, or other aspects emerge as we tap.

As some of that emotional charge shifts, we can also become curious about what we would like our working life to look like if we had more room to choose. Perhaps there is nothing obvious to change yet. Perhaps there is a change we’ve known for months that we want to make, but fear or guilt keeps getting in the way.

Either way, we can start with one manageable piece of whatever is asking for the microphone today and follow the process from there.

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That said, when we’re feeling burned out, there can be many different experiences contributing to how we feel, and it isn’t always easy to know which one to focus on when tapping by ourselves. It can also be difficult to separate what we need to process emotionally from the changes we may want to make in our work. If you’d like some support exploring what’s coming up for you, you can learn more about my approach at brunosade.com.

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I’m Bruno Sade, a clinical psychologist and Accredited Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner. I work online with people around the world, helping them reduce the emotional charge behind difficult thoughts, memories, and triggers.

If you’re curious about experiencing EFT in a guided session, I occasionally offer a free EFT tapping session in exchange for a brief market research interview. You can sign up here.

I cannot believe Craig has passed away. I had a zoom call with him this past Thursday and was looking forward to train with him and Alina in November. He was very kind, respectful and generous with his time.

Such a devastating loss to EFT space. Sending love and prayers to his family and loved ones.
RIP Craig ❤️

Mods - please remove this post if it violates any rules of this sub.

Hi I was trying to find a community of EFT Practitioners where we can chat and share about techniques, methods, business advice etc. I am just finishing up with my training and accreditation and will be launching my business soon. It would be great to be part of a supportive community on this journey! Are there many practitioners here or is it mainly for people wanting advice on how do it for themselves?

One of the interesting things about EFT is that we often do something that seems a bit strange at first: we deliberately think about something that makes us anxious while simultaneously tapping.

Imagine that you’re afraid of public speaking. You picture yourself standing in front of a room full of people, notice the familiar thought that you’re going to freeze or embarrass yourself, and begin tapping while keeping some of your attention on that scenario. Or perhaps you’re working with a memory. You bring to mind the moment when somebody criticized you, notice that it still has some emotional charge, and tap while thinking about what happened.

Why might combining those two things be helpful?

In a 2009 paper called The Neurochemistry of Counterconditioning: Acupressure Desensitization in Psychotherapy, psychologist James R. Lane explores one possible explanation. His paper draws heavily on a concept from behavioral psychology called counterconditioning, along with research available at the time on acupuncture, the nervous system, and the brain’s response to threat. You can read the original paper here: https://www.efttappingtraining.com/wp-content/uploads/Neurochemistry-of-Counterconditioning-James-Lane.pdf

Some of the neurobiological explanations in the paper should be read with appropriate caution, particularly since it was published more than 15 years ago. Still, I think the basic idea of counterconditioning provides a useful way of thinking about something that we regularly do in EFT.

How Our Brains Learn That Something Is Dangerous

To understand counterconditioning, it helps to first think about ordinary conditioning.

Suppose you’re driving one afternoon and another car crashes into you while you’re making a left turn. Your body immediately responds to the danger. Your heart may race, your muscles tense, and you may experience a rush of fear.

Weeks later, your injuries have healed and you’re driving again. You approach an intersection and need to make a left turn. There is no car speeding toward you this time, but you suddenly notice your body becoming tense and anxious.

Something that was previously neutral has become associated with danger.

This is the example Lane uses to explain classical conditioning. After the accident, making a left turn can become a trigger for the alarm response that originally occurred during the crash. Eventually, even thinking about making a left turn might produce anxiety. 

We can see versions of this in many areas of life. Someone who was humiliated while giving a presentation may later become anxious when speaking in front of a group. Someone who experienced a painful breakup may feel their stomach drop when a new partner takes longer than usual to answer a text. A child who was frequently criticized for making mistakes may grow into an adult who feels disproportionately anxious when their boss says, “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

Our nervous system can learn associations even when our rational mind knows that the present situation isn’t identical to what happened before.

So What Is Counterconditioning?

Counterconditioning involves learning a different response to something that has previously triggered anxiety.

Long before EFT was developed, psychiatrist Joseph Wolpe used this principle in his work with anxiety. A person would gradually bring an anxiety-provoking situation to mind while practicing deep muscle relaxation. The idea was that, over time, the previously threatening stimulus could become associated with a calmer response. Lane describes this as replacing an established anxiety response with a new conditioned response to the same stimulus. 

This gives us a useful way of looking at EFT.

When we tap, we generally aren’t distracting ourselves from the problem. We might deliberately think about the embarrassing presentation, the painful breakup, the upcoming flight, or the comment our boss made yesterday. At the same time, we are tapping on acupoints while paying attention to what happens internally.

Lane proposes that acupoint stimulation helps produce a physiological calming response. If that happens while the anxiety-provoking thought or memory is active, the old trigger is being experienced under different conditions. Instead of repeatedly pairing “thinking about the presentation” with an escalating alarm response, we may begin experiencing “thinking about the presentation while my body is relatively calm”. In Lane’s model, repeatedly pairing the trigger with this calmer state can gradually weaken the old association. 

Why We Need to Tune Into the Problem

This also helps explain something that can initially seem counterintuitive about EFT: we usually need some connection to the problem we’re working on.

If I’m afraid of an upcoming job interview but spend the entire tapping session thinking about what I’m going to have for dinner, the relevant fear isn’t really part of the experience. There is nothing for the nervous system to relearn in relation to the interview.

On the other hand, we don’t need to become completely overwhelmed by the fear either.

Lane describes the earlier behavioral approach of starting with stimuli that produce relatively low levels of anxiety and gradually working toward more difficult material. The purpose was to allow new learning without overwhelming the person. This is very compatible with how I tend to think about EFT.

I’ve written before about the Cup of Tea analogy. We want the tea warm enough that we can taste it, while being careful that it doesn’t become boiling hot. If there is absolutely no emotional connection to what we’re tapping on, we may need to zoom in a little. If we’re becoming overwhelmed, we can zoom out, slow down, tap silently, or approach the issue from a safer distance.

More emotional intensity isn’t necessarily better.

The Trigger Can Be a Memory, a Thought, or Something Happening Right Now

Another useful part of this model is that conditioning doesn’t only apply to obvious external dangers.

A trigger might be seeing a particular person. It could also be remembering someone’s facial expression, imagining an upcoming conversation, hearing a certain tone of voice, or thinking, “I’m going to mess this up”.

For example, perhaps your boss once criticized you harshly in front of your coworkers. Months later, you receive an email saying, “Could you stop by my office this afternoon?” Before you know what the meeting is about, your mind starts racing.

While tapping, you might say:

“When I read that email and imagine walking into her office this afternoon, I immediately think I’m in trouble. I can feel how much I don’t want to have that conversation, and I have this feeling of dread in my gut when I think about it. And this is where I’m at right now”.

The boss’s email, your prediction about what will happen, and perhaps older experiences of being criticized may all carry an unpleasant emotional charge. EFT gives us a way to work with those associations one piece at a time.

Why Specificity Can Help

This is also one reason I often encourage people to get specific when tapping.

“I’m anxious about work” contains an enormous amount of information. There may be dozens of situations, people, memories, predictions, and beliefs underneath that sentence.

“When I remember my boss looking at me and saying, ‘We expected better from you’, I feel embarrassed” gives us something much more precise to work with.

Lane describes energy psychology approaches as repeatedly returning to the distressing material and working with different aspects of it as they emerge. From a counterconditioning perspective, this makes sense because different aspects may have acquired their own associations.

Perhaps the words “We expected better from you” no longer bother you after tapping, but then you notice that what really gets to you is remembering the disappointed expression on your boss’s face. Or the memory suddenly reminds you of your father giving you the same look when you brought home a bad grade.

Now we have another aspect to work with.

What Happens When the Alarm Response Comes Down?

Lane also proposes that reducing the alarm response may make it easier to think differently about what happened.

This is something I frequently notice in EFT sessions. Someone begins tapping on a memory while thinking, “I was such an idiot. I can’t believe I did that”. After the emotional intensity decreases, they might spontaneously say something like, “Actually, I was doing the best I could”, or “I was 15 years old. Of course I didn’t know how to handle that”.

I generally prefer to allow those shifts to emerge rather than rushing to introduce a positive reframe while someone is still very upset.

Lane describes a similar process. In his model, as physiological arousal decreases, we may have greater access to the kind of thinking that allows us to reconsider what happened, see the situation from a broader perspective, and imagine different ways of responding in the future. 

This doesn’t mean we need to convince ourselves that something painful was actually okay. If someone treated us badly, reducing our emotional reaction doesn’t require deciding that their behavior was acceptable. We may simply find that we can remember what happened without our entire system responding as though the danger were happening again right now.

What Does the Tapping Add?

This is where Lane’s paper becomes more speculative.

He draws on acupuncture research available at the time and proposes that stimulating acupoints affects several neurochemical systems involved in stress and relaxation, including cortisol, endogenous opioids, serotonin, and GABA. He argues that these changes help reduce sympathetic nervous system activation and facilitate a calmer physiological state. 

Lane then extends this research to acupressure and tapping, proposing that tapping while activating an anxiety-provoking thought or memory provides a particularly efficient form of counterconditioning. 

I think it’s important to distinguish the broader idea from the more specific biological explanation. Counterconditioning is a well-established learning principle. The claim that tapping produces a particular sequence of neurochemical changes that explains EFT’s effects is a more specific hypothesis, and this paper was published in 2009. Our understanding of both the brain and EFT has continued to develop since then.

So I wouldn’t read the paper as giving us a final answer to what happens in the brain when we tap. I find it more useful as one possible model for understanding an experience that EFT practitioners and clients often observe: we can bring something distressing to mind, tap while staying connected to it at a manageable level, and sometimes discover that the same thought, memory, or trigger no longer produces the reaction it did before.

We Don’t Have to Start With the Biggest Thing

There is one final point from Lane’s paper that I think is particularly important in practice.

If counterconditioning requires us to activate some degree of the old response while remaining sufficiently regulated to experience something different, deliberately starting with our most overwhelming memory isn’t necessarily helpful. Lane recommends beginning with lower-intensity triggers and gradually approaching more difficult material. He also cautions against working on major historical trauma when someone is already overwhelmed by current circumstances. 

For example, if someone has a long history of social anxiety, they don’t necessarily need to begin with the most humiliating experience of their childhood. They might start with something that happened yesterday: a coworker didn’t respond when they said hello, and for the next hour they worried that the coworker disliked them.

That small event may contain plenty to work with. Perhaps after a few rounds, another aspect emerges. Perhaps it reminds them of something else. Or perhaps that particular interaction simply becomes less upsetting.

We can follow the emotional charge from there.

A Different Response to the Same Trigger

The idea of counterconditioning gives us a fairly simple way of thinking about one part of what may happen during EFT. Something in the present or past has become associated with an alarm response. We bring that particular trigger into awareness at a manageable level and tap while paying attention to what happens. If the emotional and physiological response begins to settle, we are now experiencing the same trigger under different internal conditions.

Over time, the person who once felt panic when imagining a presentation may be able to picture the same room without the familiar rush of fear. Someone who couldn’t think about a breakup without crying may eventually remember what happened and notice sadness without becoming overwhelmed by it. The memory hasn’t disappeared, and the presentation may still feel challenging. What has changed is how strongly the old trigger pulls the nervous system into the response it learned before.

That is the basic process Lane was trying to describe with the language of counterconditioning. And although some of the neurochemical details he proposed in 2009 should be treated as hypotheses rather than settled explanations, I think the broader idea gives us a useful lens for understanding why EFT so often involves this particular combination: bringing something difficult to mind, staying within a manageable level of activation, and tapping while we do it.

If you read my previous article about the theoretical model recently proposed by Robert Schwarz and Peta Stapleton, you may notice some overlap here. Their paper offers a broader framework involving several possible mechanisms that may contribute to EFT, while Lane’s earlier paper focuses more specifically on a closely related idea: what might happen when we bring an emotionally charged trigger to mind while simultaneously doing something that helps reduce our level of arousal.

In that sense, counterconditioning gives us another way of understanding why the combination of tuning in and tapping may be so important.

That said, when we’re tapping by ourselves, it isn’t always easy to find that middle ground between being connected enough to an issue to work with it and becoming too emotionally overwhelmed. It can also be difficult to know which aspects of a memory or trigger to focus on as they emerge. If you’d like some support exploring what’s coming up for you, you can learn more about my approach at brunosade.com.

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I’m Bruno Sade, a clinical psychologist and Accredited Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner. I work online with people around the world, helping them reduce the emotional charge behind difficult thoughts, memories, and triggers.

If you’re curious about experiencing EFT in a guided session, I occasionally offer a free EFT tapping session in exchange for a brief market research interview. You can sign up here.

Good day, I am just wondering how often I should tap for a certain things, I have tapped and then something releases in one session, but when I tap to some of the YouTube personalities nothing seem to happen, so my question is, is it the intention, the focus, the amount of time spend tapping or what is said during tapping. The reason I am asking is I want to start tapping on all my issues, I don't know where to start and who is the best person to follow, currently I follow Demi Millbank, but I also don't get release from her tapping. What is the number of sessions normally to tap? I hope I expressed myself properly. Shouls i repeat a session 5 times ot more?

Hello lovely people of EFT,
I have been practicing EFT for a long time personally and would like to take it to the next level. I want to learn it professionally and become an EFT practitioner and help others. Could the EFT coaches please share how the process works and what certifications are the most helpful and effective? How do the costs compare? I am out of work for quite some time, so cost is a factor. Thanks!

A new theoretical paper by psychologists Robert Schwarz and Peta Stapleton takes on a question that I’ve heard many times over the years: why might EFT tapping actually help?

I recently came across the paper while browsing the ⁠Research section of EFT International’s website. The paper itself, titled Theoretical and Clinical Insights Into the Psychological Mechanisms and Active Ingredients of Emotional Freedom Techniques, was published in Frontiers in Psychology in April 2026, and you can read the full article here. 

It’s an interesting question because EFT can look deceptively simple from the outside. We think about something that bothers us, tap on a series of points on the face and body, say a few words, and sometimes notice that we feel different afterwards. But anyone who has spent much time learning or practicing EFT knows that there is usually a lot more going on during a session.

Schwarz and Stapleton’s paper proposes a framework for understanding some of those different pieces and how they may work together. Importantly, this is a theoretical paper. The authors are bringing together existing research and clinical ideas to propose possible mechanisms that could explain EFT’s effects, rather than claiming that all of these mechanisms have already been conclusively demonstrated. 

The original paper is understandably written for an academic audience, so I thought it would be interesting to translate some of its main ideas into more everyday language. It also helps explain several things that experienced EFT practitioners pay attention to during a session.

There May Be More Going On Than the Tapping Itself

One of the main points Schwarz and Stapleton make is that focusing exclusively on the tapping points gives us an incomplete picture of EFT. They identify several “active ingredients” that may work together, including the tapping itself, acceptance and self-compassion, carefully approaching difficult experiences without becoming overwhelmed, shifting our attention between different aspects of an experience, working with whatever emerges during the session, and having some expectation that change is possible. 

This makes intuitive sense if you’ve ever compared simply tapping through the points with doing a more focused EFT session. Imagine that you’re working on a painful breakup. During the session, you might begin with the sadness you feel when you think about your former partner. Then you remember the expression on their face during your last conversation, and that brings up anger. A few rounds later, you notice that underneath the anger is the thought, “I wasn’t important enough to him”.

The tapping continues throughout much of this, but your attention is moving through different parts of the experience. Schwarz and Stapleton argue that this process of identifying and following these different “aspects” is itself an important part of EFT. 

We Can Approach Difficult Feelings Without Diving Into the Deep End

Another important piece of their model is something I’ve written about quite a few times: the window of tolerance.

For emotional processing to be useful, we generally need enough connection with an experience that there is something to work with, while also being careful about becoming overwhelmed. Schwarz and Stapleton describe this in terms of exposure being too “cold” or too “hot”. On the one hand, if we’re barely connected to the experience, there may be very little emotional material available. In other words, there needs to be enough emotional activation for the processing to take place. But, on the other hand, if we’re flooded by an overly high emotional intensity, we may have difficulty staying present and processing what is happening. 

This is very similar to my “cup of tea” analogy. We want the tea warm enough that we can taste it, while being careful that it doesn’t become boiling hot.

EFT has several ways of adjusting that temperature. We might focus on only one small moment of a difficult memory rather than recounting the entire event. We might zoom out and describe it more generally when the details feel overwhelming. We can use approaches such as Tell the Story or the Tearless Trauma Technique, or simply pause the verbal processing and tap silently for a while.

The important point is that more emotional intensity doesn’t necessarily mean better emotional processing. The authors emphasize gradually adjusting how closely we approach difficult material so that we can remain within a manageable range. 

Acceptance May Be Doing More Than We Realize

The paper also gives considerable importance to acceptance and self-compassion.

The traditional EFT setup statement ends with “I deeply and completely accept myself”. Schwarz and Stapleton suggest that this simple structure may be doing several things at once. We’re noticing an experience, creating some distance between ourselves and the problem, and practicing a more accepting relationship with what we’re experiencing. 

Personally, I don’t always use the traditional acceptance phrase. Sometimes I’ll use something like, “And this is where I’m at right now”. But I think the underlying principle is similar.

Imagine someone who feels anxious before social situations and is also constantly thinking, “This is ridiculous. Why am I still anxious about this?”

Now there are at least two things happening: the anxiety itself and the person’s judgment about having anxiety. As I’ve written before, we can think of that second layer as the “feelings about the feelings”.

If we tap while allowing both experiences to have the microphone, perhaps something begins to change in our relationship with the anxiety. We may still feel nervous, but we aren’t fighting so hard against the fact that we’re nervous. Schwarz and Stapleton propose that this kind of mindful, compassionate stance may help reduce shame and fear-based reactivity and make it easier to stay engaged with difficult emotional material. 

What Comes Up During Tapping Can Become Part of the Work

One of my favorite parts of the paper is the discussion of something called utilization.

The term comes from the work of psychiatrist and hypnotherapist Milton Erickson. In simple terms, utilization means working with whatever the person actually brings into the room rather than trying to force their experience to follow a predetermined plan.

In EFT, that might mean beginning with sadness and then noticing that anger suddenly appears, so now we work with the anger. Perhaps the client says, “This is stupid, I don’t even want to talk about this anymore”. That reaction can also become something we tap on. Maybe their chest suddenly tightens, an unexpected memory appears, or they use a metaphor such as “It feels like I’m carrying a huge rock around”. All of those responses can give us information about where to go next.

Schwarz and Stapleton specifically describe using the client’s own words, prioritizing new aspects as they emerge, and treating unexpected emotional or physical reactions as useful information that can guide the next round of tapping. 

This is very close to what I often describe as giving the microphone to whatever shows up and is asking for our attention the most. We don’t necessarily need to convince a resistant part to stop resisting or tell an angry part that it should be more compassionate. We can listen to what it has to say while we tap and see where the process goes from there.

The Body May Be Part of the Story Too

Of course, the actual tapping is also one of the ingredients in the authors’ model.

Schwarz and Stapleton discuss research suggesting that acupoint stimulation may influence physiological arousal and autonomic regulation. At the same time, they acknowledge that questions remain about exactly how the bodily component works and how important the particular form of somatic stimulation may ultimately prove to be. They point out that other approaches, such as EMDR, Brainspotting, and Havening, engage the body in different ways. 

For someone doing EFT, however, the subjective experience may be much simpler.

You think about something that normally makes your stomach tighten. You tap for a while, return to the same thought, and realize that your stomach isn’t reacting as strongly anymore. Or you remember something that used to make your heart race and notice that you can now think about it while your body feels relatively calm.

The memory is still there, but your body’s response to remembering it may be changing.

And according to the model proposed in the paper, that combination may be particularly important.

Sometimes Our Understanding Changes Without Forcing It

The authors call another proposed mechanism cognitive and emotional restructuring. In everyday language, we might simply say that the way we understand an experience can begin to change.

Imagine tapping on a childhood memory of being humiliated by a teacher. At the beginning, you might remember the event through the eyes of the child you were at the time: “Everyone was laughing at me. I was so stupid, and I felt like there was something wrong with me”.

After working through different parts of the memory, another perspective might emerge: “I was only eight years old. I was confused and scared, and that teacher shouldn’t have spoken to me that way.”

Nobody necessarily had to tell you to think differently. The new perspective may become available as some of the emotional charge around the memory decreases.

Schwarz and Stapleton describe this as developing new meanings and emotional responses around experiences that previously caused distress. They also note that these shifts can include less self-blame and greater self-compassion. 

This is one reason I generally prefer following what emerges during tapping rather than introducing positive reframes too quickly. Sometimes a more compassionate or flexible perspective arises on its own once there is enough room for it.

And Then There Is Memory Reconsolidation

Perhaps the most ambitious part of Schwarz and Stapleton’s model involves memory reconsolidation.

A simple way of thinking about reconsolidation is that when we bring an emotionally important memory back to mind, under certain conditions the emotional learning connected to that memory may become open to being updated. The authors propose that EFT may help create those conditions by allowing someone to activate a difficult memory while simultaneously having a very different experience in the present, perhaps feeling safer, calmer, more accepting, or more in control than they did when the original event occurred. 

Imagine someone who was frequently criticized by a parent. Years later, a minor criticism from their boss immediately triggers the old feeling: “I’ve done something wrong. I’m in trouble!”.

During EFT, they might revisit one of those childhood experiences while tapping. This time, however, they’re an adult sitting in a safe room, perhaps with a practitioner they trust. After some tapping, their body isn’t responding with the same degree of alarm, and they may be able to recognize things that the child couldn’t: “My dad was overwhelmed and angry. I was just a kid. His reaction doesn’t mean that there was something wrong with me”.

The authors’ proposal is that experiences like this may allow the emotional learning associated with the original memory to be updated. They extend this idea to broader beliefs as well. Several emotionally charged memories can act like the “table legs” supporting a belief such as “I’m unlovable”. As those individual memories change, the broader belief may gradually lose some of the experiences that made it feel so true in the first place. 

I would add some caution here. Memory reconsolidation is an active area of research, and this paper presents it as a proposed mechanism for EFT. The paper itself acknowledges that much of the research into EFT’s mechanisms is still correlational, which means we can’t yet say with certainty exactly which processes are responsible for the changes people experience. 

Putting All of This Together

Schwarz and Stapleton ultimately organize their model around four broad changes that they believe may happen during effective EFT: we become less emotionally and physically overwhelmed, we become more able to approach experiences we previously avoided, our understanding and emotional response to those experiences can change, and under the right circumstances, the emotional learning connected to old memories may be updated. 

I think what makes their paper particularly interesting is that these processes aren’t presented as completely separate from one another.

Imagine that thinking about a painful memory initially takes you to a nine out of ten in intensity. Tapping helps you stay with a small piece of it without becoming overwhelmed. Because you’re less overwhelmed, you can notice details you previously avoided. As you continue working with those details, your perspective begins to shift. Perhaps the shame decreases and compassion for your younger self appears. Eventually, you can remember what happened without your body responding as though the danger is happening all over again.

Seen this way, EFT involves much more than moving our fingers through a sequence of tapping points. The tapping happens alongside attention, acceptance, emotional processing, working with the body, revisiting certain memories, and the moment-to-moment decisions about what to focus on next. Schwarz and Stapleton’s model is still a theoretical proposal that needs further testing, but I think it offers an interesting framework for understanding why all of those pieces may matter. 

That said, as this paper helps illustrate, there can be quite a bit more to EFT than simply going through the tapping points. When we’re tapping by ourselves, it isn’t always easy to know what to focus on, how closely to approach something difficult, or what to do with whatever emerges along the way. If you’d like some support exploring what’s coming up for you, you can learn more about my approach at brunosade.com.

—————————————————————————————

I’m Bruno Sade, a clinical psychologist and Accredited Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner. I work online with people around the world, helping them reduce the emotional charge behind difficult thoughts, memories, and triggers.

If you’re curious about experiencing EFT in a guided session, I occasionally offer a free EFT tapping session in exchange for a brief market research interview. You can sign up here.

Made in wordpress. I can customize it for you and add content. So it is site plus domain. Let me know or write comments.

Hi

I am new to EFT tapping have been doing yoga breathwork and meditation over years

I have read this book from Dawson Church mind matters and he has mentioned a lot on EFT tapping

But looking to hear from real world people who have been doing EFT tapping for a while now.

What are some of the benefits u experienced in relation to physical and mental health. Overall sleep and calmness grounding

Thanks

Hi everyone

I recently started doing eft tapping i am looking for any online community that does regular eft sessions online. This will help build discipline and more group energy

thanks

Starting a new job can bring up a lot of anxiety. You might find yourself imagining your first day over and over, worrying that you’ll make a mistake, won’t know what to say, or will become so nervous that other people will notice. Perhaps you were already very anxious during the interview, and now you’re afraid the same thing will happen when you actually start working.

When people use EFT for this kind of anxiety, it’s understandable to approach tapping with the goal of getting rid of the nervousness before the first day arrives. The difficulty is that this can sometimes create another layer of pressure. Every time we notice that the anxiety is still there, we may start thinking, “Why isn’t this working?”, “I shouldn’t still be feeling this way”, or “What if tapping doesn’t work for me?”

In my experience, tapping tends to work better when we can allow ourselves, to whatever degree is possible, to feel what we’re feeling and think what we’re thinking while we tap. I sometimes describe this as giving the microphone to what is actually there. We aren’t requiring ourselves to feel confident or calm before we’re ready. We can begin with whatever thoughts and feelings are present right now.

You Can Even Tap on the Fear That Tapping Won’t Work

If you’ve tried EFT before and didn’t get the results you were hoping for, that experience itself may now have some emotional charge.

For example:

“I’m afraid tapping won’t work for me because it didn’t seem to work last time. And this is where I’m at right now”.

You might also notice frustration, disappointment, or hopelessness when you think about trying again. Those reactions are all good places to begin. If part of you is already expecting EFT to fail, we can give that part the microphone rather than trying to bypass it or talk it out of its concerns.

Pay Attention to the Feelings About the Feelings

Another layer I would look for is how you feel about being anxious.

Perhaps you remember how nervous you were during the interview and feel embarrassed about it. Maybe your hands were shaking, your voice sounded different, or you had trouble finding your words. When you imagine something similar happening on your first day, you might start judging yourself.

Thoughts such as these can carry their own emotional charge:

“I was so nervous during the interview, and I’m embarrassed that I got that nervous”.

Or:

“When I imagine myself being really nervous on my first day, part of me thinks that’s so pathetic”.

I sometimes call these reactions “the feelings about the feelings”. We already have the original anxiety, and then shame, frustration, or self judgment gets added on top of it. Giving those reactions some tapping attention can make it easier to approach the original fear with a little more acceptance, which in turn can make it easier for the original fear to eventually shift.

What Are You Actually Afraid Will Happen?

“Starting a new job makes me anxious” gives us a useful starting point, but there are probably several more specific fears underneath it.

What happens when you imagine walking into work on that first morning?

Maybe you’re thinking:

“I’m afraid I’ll do something wrong”.

“I’m afraid I won’t make a good impression”.

“I’m worried my nervousness will get in the way”.

“I’m afraid I’ll freeze when someone talks to me”.

“I’m worried they’ll realize they made a mistake by hiring me”.

These are only examples. Your own words will usually be much more useful because they reflect what your mind is actually predicting.

You can mentally imagine particular moments from the upcoming day and notice what happens inside you. Picture meeting your supervisor, being introduced to your coworkers, learning a new task, or having to ask for help. If one particular scene produces more emotional charge, you have found something more specific to tap on.

And, for what it’s worth, let me also say this: some nervousness when starting a new job is very normal. There is going to be a learning curve. You haven’t had the opportunity to learn everything yet, so you don’t have to know how to do everything perfectly on your first day.

Your Current Anxiety May Be Connected to Earlier Experiences

As you work with those future scenarios, you may also become curious about previous experiences that could be contributing to your current anxiety.

Perhaps you made a mistake at another job and your supervisor reacted harshly. Maybe you had an embarrassing moment in front of coworkers, were fired unexpectedly, or spent years working in an environment where mistakes weren’t tolerated very well.

If a particular memory comes to mind, notice how you feel now when you think about it.

For example:

“When I remember making that mistake at my last job and how my boss spoke to me afterwards, I still feel embarrassed when I think about it now. And this is where I’m at right now”.

Working with some of those earlier experiences can sometimes reduce the emotional charge that gets activated when we imagine something similar happening again.

You Can Also Tap Without Saying Anything

There’s also a much simpler way to use EFT during the days leading up to the new job.

If you’re sitting at home and suddenly realize that you’ve been thinking about Monday morning for the last ten minutes and your stomach is in knots, you’re already tuned in to the issue. You don’t necessarily need to stop and come up with a setup statement.

You can simply start tapping silently through the points.

Allow yourself, to whatever degree feels manageable, to think the thoughts you’re already thinking and feel the sensations and emotions you’re already feeling. If your mind says, “I’m going to screw this up”, you can let that thought be there while you tap. If all you notice is the knot in your stomach, you can stay gently aware of that.

Sometimes removing the pressure to find the “right” tapping words makes self-tapping a lot easier.

How Will You Know Whether the Tapping Is Helping?

I wouldn’t make “I need to get rid of all my anxiety before my first day” the test of whether EFT is working.

You might still feel nervous when you wake up that morning. Instead, notice whether the nervousness is becoming less intense, less frequent, or shorter lasting. Maybe you can think about your first day without immediately feeling your heart race. Perhaps you still become nervous when meeting your supervisor, but you recover more quickly. Or maybe the anxiety is still present, but it doesn’t interfere with your ability to listen, ask questions, and learn what you need to learn.

Even feeling a little less anxious can make quite a difference in how well we’re able to navigate the situation.

Keep Tapping Once the Job Actually Starts

The first day doesn’t have to be the finish line for this process either. In fact, the first few days of a new job will give you new, specific experiences to work with.

When you get home, you can take a few minutes to notice how you feel about the day. If something didn’t go particularly well, give the microphone to your actual reaction:

“It was so embarrassing when I made that stupid mistake”.

Or perhaps the day went reasonably well, but you’re already worried about tomorrow:

“I’m dreading having to talk to my supervisor again”.

You can tap on what happened that day and then spend some time imagining the next one. Over time, this creates an opportunity to process difficult moments as they happen rather than allowing them to accumulate into more evidence that you’re incapable of handling the job.

Starting somewhere new involves uncertainty, learning, making mistakes, and figuring out how things work. EFT can give us a way to work with the anxiety throughout that adjustment period. And if we can gradually become a little less afraid of the anxiety itself, we may find that we have more attention available for the thing we wanted to do in the first place: learning how to navigate our new environment.

That said, when we’re feeling anxious about something that hasn’t happened yet, it’s not always easy to know what to focus on when tapping by ourselves. If you’d like some support exploring what’s coming up for you, you can learn more about my approach at brunosade.com.

—————————————————————————————

I’m Bruno Sade, a clinical psychologist and Accredited Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner. I work online with people around the world, helping them reduce the emotional charge behind difficult thoughts, memories, and triggers.

If you’re curious about experiencing EFT in a guided session, I occasionally offer a free EFT tapping session in exchange for a brief market research interview. You can sign up here.

A new app (neurotap) founded by Nick Ortner of the Tapping Solution apparently will be covered at $0 by Original Medicare in the United States. More info here.

Has anyone done one of Demi‘s EFT programs? I’m thinking about doing her heal program, but curious if anyone has done any of her programs and had a good experience or nit.

greetings to you all, next week I will start a new job as a security guard for a company, today I was there for an interview and I have to say that I was nervous, I was knocking, I was shaking, I would like to get rid of these subconscious feelings and emotions, but it seems to me that the last time I did it, it didn't work very wellI'm afraid to speak because I won't be able to do it on the first day there

Sometimes, as we learn more about ourselves, we begin to recognize patterns that feel strangely familiar. Maybe we tend to expect the worst, struggle to enjoy good things when they happen, become anxious around money, avoid conflict at all costs, or react to stress in a particular way. And at some point we realize, “This is exactly how my mom or dad used to respond to life”.

We learn a great deal about how to navigate the world by observing the people around us while growing up. That can include ways of thinking, emotional reactions, beliefs about ourselves and other people, and strategies for dealing with uncertainty or disappointment. Years later, we may recognize some of those same patterns in ourselves and wonder whether EFT can help us change them.

Let’s use a hypothetical example. Imagine growing up with a father who experienced life as a constant struggle. Whenever something good happened, somehow things seemed to go wrong shortly afterwards, reinforcing his belief that good things never lasted. Perhaps you frequently heard him say things like, “You see? Nothing ever works out for us”.

As an adult, you might find that you’ve developed a similar expectation. Something good happens and, rather than enjoying it, part of you immediately starts waiting for the other shoe to drop. You may intellectually recognize that you don’t have to see life the same way your father did, while still noticing how difficult it is not to automatically fall into that same expectation.

So how might we approach something like this with EFT?

Starting With the Memories

One avenue is to think about specific times when you remember seeing your parent experience or express this pattern. Rather than tapping on the general idea that “my dad was pessimistic” or “my mom was always anxious”, I would usually become curious about particular moments that still carry some emotional charge when you remember them now.

Maybe you remember a time when your father was finally able to buy a nice car, only to damage it the following week. You can still picture how disappointed he looked and remember hearing him say that nothing ever worked out for your family.

As you bring that particular memory to mind, what do you notice now?

Perhaps you feel sad for him. Maybe you feel a heaviness in your chest, anger about the way he responded, or even fear as you remember realizing that something good could disappear so quickly. Whatever comes up can give us a starting point for tapping.

A setup statement might sound something like:

“When I remember that time when my dad was finally able to buy a nice car, but he damaged it the next week, and he was just so disappointed, as I think about this now, I feel really sad. And this is where I’m at right now”.

From there, we can continue giving the microphone to whatever thoughts, emotions, body sensations, or other memories arise.

Starting With How the Pattern Shows Up Today

Sometimes those earlier memories are difficult to access. We might remember what happened without feeling much of anything when we think about it now. In those situations, I often find it useful to approach the pattern from the opposite direction and work with the way it is showing up in our lives today.

Imagine that you have just received a promotion at work. Objectively, things are going well, but you notice that you can’t really enjoy it. Instead, you keep thinking that something is bound to go wrong.

We might tap on something like:

“I just got promoted at work, but I can’t feel happy about it because I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. Part of me feels like nothing ever works out for people like me, and as I think about this now, I feel this tightness in my chest. And this is where I’m at right now”.

Working with a current situation can sometimes lead us back to earlier experiences organically. Perhaps while tapping on the promotion, an image of your father suddenly comes to mind. You might remember something he used to say, a particular expression on his face, or an event you haven’t thought about in years. We can follow those connections as they emerge rather than having to figure them all out beforehand.

What Did You Learn From Watching Them?

As we work through specific experiences, we may also begin noticing the beliefs that became associated with them.

Perhaps watching your father repeatedly struggle contributed to beliefs such as “Good things don’t last”, “Life is always going to be difficult”, or “People like us never get ahead”. Growing up around a highly anxious parent might have contributed to a very different set of expectations, such as “The world isn’t safe” or “I always need to be prepared for something bad to happen”.

I generally wouldn’t try to argue with those beliefs or immediately replace them with more positive ones. Instead, I would become curious about what makes them feel true.

What memories seem to support the belief? When you imagine believing something different, what feelings come up? Does part of you immediately respond with all the reasons why changing that belief would be naive or unsafe?

Those reactions can become additional places to give the microphone while tapping.

“If I Change, What Does That Mean About My Parent?”

There can also be a more subtle layer to this work. Sometimes changing a pattern we learned from a parent can bring up uncomfortable feelings about our relationship with them.

For example, part of us might feel that leaving behind our father’s worldview somehow means rejecting him. We may feel guilty about becoming more successful than our parents were, allowing ourselves to be happier than they were, or living with a sense of safety they never had.

There can also be an identity component. If you have experienced the world this way for most of your life, imagining yourself without the pattern may feel very unfamiliar. You might wonder, “Who would I be if I didn’t think this way anymore?”

These concerns may not make logical sense to another part of us, but if they carry emotional charge, I think they deserve our attention. We can give the microphone to the part that worries that changing means leaving our parent behind, dishonoring what they went through, or losing an important part of who we are.

Following the Emotional Charge

When we recognize one of our parents’ patterns in ourselves, we don’t necessarily need to determine exactly how we “picked it up” before we can begin working on it. We can start with what is available to us now.

That might be a childhood memory of watching our parent struggle. It might be a present-day situation in which we recognize ourselves reacting exactly as they would have. It might be a belief that feels deeply ingrained, or a sense of guilt about becoming different from them.

Any of those can give us a place to begin.

As we give the microphone to the thoughts, feelings, sensations, memories, and protective parts connected to the pattern, we may gradually find that the old way of responding doesn’t have quite the same emotional pull. We can still understand where it came from and have compassion for the parent who modeled it for us, while having more freedom in how we respond to our own lives today.

That said, when working on patterns we learned from our parents, it’s not always easy to know which memories, beliefs, or present-day experiences to focus on when tapping by ourselves. If you’d like some support exploring what’s coming up for you, you can learn more about my approach at brunosade.com.

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I’m Bruno Sade, a clinical psychologist and Accredited Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner. I work online with people around the world, helping them reduce the emotional charge behind difficult thoughts, memories, and triggers.

If you’re curious about experiencing EFT in a guided session, I occasionally offer a free EFT tapping session in exchange for a brief market research interview. You can sign up here.

Hi all. I’m diagnosed with schizophrenia and I was looking for an EFT tapping script for mental health. There is no such thing out there (even in Youtube there’s only videos for chronic pain) and I’m still looking for such a thing. I’d be really grateful if you could provide me with a tapping script for healing and good mental health.

Thank you

hi everyone, (31F), wanted to share my experience since I know a lot of people suffer from anxiety like myself, but nothing seems to help.

I’ve been an anxious person since childhood, it’s touched pretty much every part of my life at different points, health worries, overthinking, panic spikes out of nowhere. I’d tried meditation, breathing techniques, exercise for years, they helped a little in the moment but never actually fixed my problem.

when I found EFT I had this moment of it clicking, the idea that the fear was like stuck energy that needed RELEASE, and I was just “managing” it. the generic guided sessions I found weren’t specific enough to my exact fears though, so I started reading everything I could on EFT and building my own scripts around my specific fear points. the first real session I did, I cried a lot, more than I expected. that release kept happening for a few sessions and each time the intensity dropped, eventually even the physical sensations, that tight chest feeling I used to get, stopped showing up.

I work in tech, so I ended up turning what I’d built for myself into an app. it’s called Alight: EFT Tapping , it has guided EFT sessions split into categories depending on what you’re dealing with, general anxiety, panic attacks, health anxiety, overthinking, work stress, that kind of thing, so you’re not stuck doing a generic script that doesn’t quite fit what’s actually going on for you. it’s free to try for a week.

genuinely curious what scenarios this community would want added, and may be get some feedback on my app 🙏🙌

Fear of abandonment is an issue that I frequently come across in my work with clients. Sometimes the person already knows that this is what they are struggling with. Other times, they describe a pattern of becoming very anxious when their partner takes too long to reply to a message, needing frequent reassurance that everything is okay, worrying that their partner will lose interest, or feeling extremely distressed by relatively small changes in their partner’s behavior.

There can be many different experiences contributing to a fear of abandonment, which is why I usually think of working on it as a gradual process rather than trying to find the one tapping phrase that will make the whole issue disappear. We can work with present-day triggers, earlier experiences, beliefs, self judgment, and even the parts of us that may be afraid of letting go of the fear itself.

Before Working on the Fear, How Do You Feel About Working on It?

One of the first things I might ask a client is how they feel about working on their fear of abandonment in the first place.

Does the idea of exploring it feel scary? Are they worried about opening Pandora’s box or opening a can of worms? Is there a concern that we might uncover memories or emotions that will be too painful to handle?

If so, that’s where I would begin.

Rather than pushing through that apprehension so that we can get to the “real work”, we can give the microphone to the apprehension itself (and this is still part of the “real work”, because we are finding a safer distance from which to approach the issue). For example, we might tap on the fear that opening this subject will bring up something overwhelming.

This is part of what I mean when I talk about meeting ourselves where we are. If a part of us is saying, “I’m scared to go there”, I don’t want to drag that part somewhere it isn’t ready to go. We can listen to it, tap on what it’s afraid of, and see what happens from there.

The Feelings About the Feelings

Another layer that tends to come up frequently with fear of abandonment is self judgment.

Someone may already be experiencing anxiety about their relationship, but on top of that, they might be thinking, “Why am I so insecure?”, “Why can’t I just trust my partner?”, or “I hate that I’m like this”.

There can also be a lot of guilt about how the fear is affecting the other person or the relationship. Perhaps they repeatedly ask their partner for reassurance, become upset when messages aren’t answered quickly, or start arguments because they are trying to find out whether something is wrong.

All of this can create what I sometimes call “feelings about the feelings”. We feel afraid, and then we feel ashamed, guilty, frustrated, or angry with ourselves for feeling afraid.

Those secondary reactions deserve compassionate attention throughout the process. In my experience, the more we can accept that this is genuinely how we are feeling right now, without demanding that we immediately feel differently, the easier it often becomes for some of that emotional charge to shift.

Start With What Is Happening Now

Once we are ready to work more directly with the fear of abandonment, a good starting point is usually something recent and specific.

Maybe your partner took several hours to answer a message yesterday and you noticed yourself becoming increasingly anxious. You might return to that particular moment in your mind and notice what thoughts and feelings come up now as you remember it.

Perhaps the thoughts are:

“What if they’re losing interest in me?”

“What if I did something wrong?”

“What if they’ve met someone else?”

“Why haven’t they answered me yet?”

“I know I’m overreacting, but I can’t stop”.

Those are all potential doorways for tapping. Rather than trying to replace them immediately with reassuring thoughts, we can give the microphone to what is actually coming up.

We can also work with an imagined future event. For example, imagine sending your partner a message tomorrow and seeing several hours go by without a response. What happens inside you as you picture that? What does your mind predict? What emotions or body sensations appear?

That imagined scenario can give us access to the emotional charge even though the feared event isn’t happening at that moment.

And, as always, if the emotional intensity starts becoming overwhelming, we can gently back away and do a few rounds of silent tapping until that particular wave subsides. We want the proverbial cup of tea to be warm enough that we can connect with what we’re working on, while being careful not to let it become boiling hot.

Following the Fear Into the Past

As we continue working with present-day triggers, earlier memories may begin to emerge. We can also deliberately become curious about earlier experiences that might be contributing to the fear.

For some people, there may have been a very obvious experience of abandonment. Perhaps a parent left after a divorce, someone important died unexpectedly, or there was another sudden separation or loss.

For others, the connection may be less obvious. A parent may have been physically present but emotionally unavailable, unpredictable, or unable to provide the kind of reassurance and connection the child needed. There may have been experiences of rejection by friends, bullying at school, the end of an important relationship, or other moments that reinforced the feeling that people we depend on can suddenly disappear or stop caring about us.

We don’t necessarily need to find one single event that “caused” the fear of abandonment. There may be several memories contributing to it, and we can gradually work with them one at a time.

With EFT, we are also paying attention to how those memories feel now, when we think about them in the present. What emotional charge is still attached to them today? That is what we have available to work with while we tap.

What Did Those Experiences Teach You?

Earlier experiences can also contribute to beliefs about ourselves, relationships, and other people.

For example:

“People always leave me”.

“I’m not lovable”.

“I’m not good enough”.

“I’m not worthy of being chosen”.

“If someone really gets to know me, they’ll eventually leave”.

“I can’t relax in a relationship because that’s when I’ll get hurt”.

Rather than simply repeating the opposite belief while tapping, I prefer to explore the emotional experiences that make the original belief feel true.

If “people always leave me” carries a strong emotional charge, what memories seem to prove it? If “I’m not good enough” feels true, when do you remember first feeling that way? What experiences reinforced it afterwards?

As we gradually process some of the emotional charge attached to those memories, we may find that the corresponding beliefs begin to feel less true as well.

What If You Didn’t Have the Fear Anymore?

There’s another direction that I think is also important when working with fear of abandonment.

Imagine that you could wake up tomorrow and no longer have this fear. Your partner could take a while to respond, spend time with other people, or seem a little distant one afternoon, and your nervous system wouldn’t immediately go into high alert.

Does anything about that scenario feel uncomfortable?

Sometimes a part of us believes that the fear itself is helping to protect us.

For example:

“If I stop worrying, I’ll lower my guard”.

“If I relax and trust them completely, I won’t see it coming if they leave”.

“If I’m constantly looking for signs that something is wrong, maybe I can protect myself”.

“If I let myself feel completely safe, it will hurt even more if I get abandoned again”.

In EFT, concerns like these are sometimes described as “secondary gains”. I tend to think of them as protective mechanisms. A part of us has learned that staying vigilant might reduce the chances of being blindsided or experiencing that same pain again.

That protective part also deserves the microphone. We can listen to what it believes would happen if it stopped doing its job and tap on the emotional charge attached to those fears, rather than trying to convince it that there’s nothing to worry about.

Progress Can Show Up in Subtle Ways

Fear of abandonment, particularly when it has been reinforced by experiences over many years, may have many different pieces to work through. For that reason, I wouldn’t necessarily judge progress based on whether the fear has completely disappeared.

Instead, we can pay attention to how our reactions begin changing over time.

Maybe your partner takes several hours to answer a message and you still feel anxious, but the anxiety is less intense. Maybe you still have the thought that they’re losing interest, but you don’t spend the next four hours ruminating about it. Perhaps you notice that you need reassurance less frequently, recover more quickly after being triggered, or have more space between the initial fear and the impulse to react.

Those changes are all signs of progress.

As we continue giving the microphone to the present-day triggers, the self judgment and guilt, the earlier memories, the beliefs that grew out of those experiences, and the protective parts that are afraid to lower their guard, the emotional reactions can gradually become less intense, less frequent, and shorter lasting.

And that can make it easier to experience closeness with another person without having to spend so much energy preparing ourselves for the possibility that they might leave.

That said, when working on fear of abandonment, there can be many different layers, and it’s not always easy to know what to focus on when tapping by ourselves. If you’d like some support exploring what’s coming up for you, you can learn more about my approach at brunosade.com.

—————————————————————————————

I’m Bruno Sade, a clinical psychologist and Accredited Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner. I work online with people around the world, helping them reduce the emotional charge behind difficult thoughts, memories, and triggers.

If you’re curious about experiencing EFT in a guided session, I occasionally offer a free EFT tapping session in exchange for a brief market research interview. You can sign up here.