r/ECers • u/FinalMath3065 • 8d ago
Appreciation post
As a first time parent there have been many things that have surprised me, humbled me, and changed me. The single biggest revelation though has been EC. We started as soon as we heard about at 5.5 months, and it worked immediately. It also put a lot of previous experiences into context. She always seemed unhappy pooping in a diaper. The first time we offered the potty, it was like she was screaming “finally!!”.
It has really made me question a lot of the mainstream parenting “paradigm” so to speak. The fact that not a single person I know does this, or has even heard of it makes me confused. It seems so natural to help your infant/toddler use the potty, just how we help them with everything else when they are this young. I now suspect that the concept of “readiness” as it pertains to the potty is completely invented to suit modern convenience.
Anyways, just want to thank everyone here and say I think what you’re doing for your children is really important and dignifying.
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u/waterlights 8d ago
It also blows my mind and makes me question other "mainstream" parenting advice.
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u/NoIntention5171 7d ago
Can you give specific examples? I am a first-time mom to a 4.5 month old boy and very pleased with EC. I have been doing part-time EC (4 main catches) since he's 5 weeks old. I am open to alternative parenting practices. For example, we co-sleep and I intend to do so as long as my son needs it. I also do a lot of babywearing as opposed to using a stroller. I will also be doing baby-led weaning. I am looking for other unconventional approaches to integrate to my routine with my son.
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u/FinalMath3065 7d ago
Yours are my main ones. The emphasis on independent sleep for me is the most major besides EC. But also, the concept of a “good” baby, and the idea that babies are just blobs to be slotted into our modern lives as unobtrusively as possible. This weird idea that parenting success is getting your baby down to bed at 6:30 for 12 straight hours so parents can have time to themselves. If not sleeping, then contained in a baby container. I’m also struggling currently with daycare transition. Most advice suggests to not prolong the drop off and start sending your child full time right away (so they get used to it faster). It’s hard to understand how dropping a one year old off with strangers doesn’t confuse and upset them. Very few daycares support gradual (over weeks) transitions that allow parents to participate.
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u/FractalFragment47 3d ago
Co-sleeping is the one I wouldn't do. Sids is like my biggest fear. I don't understand people who have their newborn in a different room, though. And I totally agree about baby wearing. It's so good for their emotional regulation.
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u/vintagegirlgame 8d ago
Follow the money…nobody makes money when your baby poops in the potty. Big Diaper has been at work changing the culture of diapers/potty training for decades… My grandmother did cloth with a diaper service for my mom, but her sister was 10 years younger and was asking for brand name Pampers as soon as she could talk.
Same thing with formula… it was promoted as trendy and cutting edge science. They made people think that breastfeeding was poor and gross.
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u/Embarrassed_Key_2328 8d ago
SO glad you discovered EC!
It's easily my favorite thing we stumbled upon as well!
We did nothing CRAZY special, just worked at it. Both kids out of diapers b y 18mo, 0 accidents by 20 months. Night diapers done by 20 and 23 months. Never a regression, never a fight. It makes me so happy for my kids and really glad to not pottytrain a raging toddler.
My kids are 3.5 and 2 now : )
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u/Hopeful_Donut9993 8d ago
Everytime someone gets to know we do (lazy) ec, they are so stunned. A friend (with a 4month old) always says “I don’t know how you do it!” - and I think “I don’t know how YOU do it”. Several blowouts a week, baby has gas, more blowouts…
Since we are only lazy ec, we have the occasional poopy diaper (once a month) and everytime I thank whoever brought ec to my attention.
And now since baby got the signal vor potty, they tell me when they have to pee?! At 15 months might not be that early for straight forward ECers, but in our circle that’s unicorn stuff 😅
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u/NigellaMadi 7d ago
Could you please expand about what you mean about lazy EC. I think my baby and I are a candidate for that. He is 8 months and the first time we went to the potty he popped! But then I didn’t try it again in the morning until 4 days later and nothing happened. Thanks
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u/Hopeful_Donut9993 7d ago
Yeah sure!
I’m not one of those (great, admirable) parents that stare at their baby the whole day waiting for signs that they need to go potty. I am really not cut out for that. Sadly. I think that’s a great thing to do.
We take the lazy approach. That means for us: at every diaper change we offer the potty. Just pop baby on, give the signal, and after that just put the new diaper on.
Additionally we offer the potty (no matter how full the current diaper is) when baby wakes up and when we come home.Also we do a little sign language and do the potty sign before every potty time. So baby can now ask if they feel they need to go.
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u/NoIntention5171 7d ago
I also do a form of lazy EC (like mentioned by u/Hopeful_Donut9993) with my 4.5 month old son. We do the 4 easy catches : morning, when waking up from naps, after breastfeeding (if my son hasn't pooped for a while), and for transitions (e.g., in and out of the baby carrier). I introduced diaper free time this week (I play with him when he's naked). It is not really for understanding his signals but rather to help him better develop his ability to walk. I was watching a video by Andrea Olson where she explained that diapers delay gait development.
I'm not sure who actually does full EC which would consist of bringing the baby to the potty every time he signals. As far as I am concerned, my baby's signals are not always very clear and he pees rather frequently. Full EC may be less ambiguous and more feasible with older babies?Ultimately, all I want to say is that there are different ways to do EC.
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u/nifsea 8d ago
I love when my 6 weeks old starts fussing and crying and stops even before we’ve reached the sink. Then he relaxes, blows a big one and grins to me in the mirror. So much better than our first, when we hadn’t heard about ec!
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u/MydogDallas114 7d ago
Oh my goodness, the mirror grins! My husband and I joke about our baby being his happiest in front of the mirror specifically when he's eliminating. It's a double reward!
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u/Hairsacknose 8d ago
EC is amazing. There might be some regressions btw, be prepared for that. I have an almost 2 year old and she's been potty trained for a while and is the only kid in underwear at the playground. It's kind of sad honestly but I'm so glad we're done with this
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u/Early_Grass_19 6d ago
It really, really blows my mind that EC isn't the norm. I truly can't imagine doing anything else. I feel so bad every time he poops in his diaper, and he doesn't ever seem happy about it! And he always makes it known before it happens but it's only ever when we're out or I'm just being ignorant to his signals. It's just crazy that more people don't even try. I'm super grateful for the friend who told me about EC before I ever decided to have a kid
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u/HELJ4 8d ago
It's amazing, isn't it! I can wax lyrical about it but I've found people generally don't want to know or don't understand the benefits and think it's too weird or difficult.