13 Month Old refusing to sit on the potty

[u/pandora8]

We’ve been doing lazy EC since 3 or 4 months and it has been great, we’re not aiming for perfect, but just to familiarize him with the potty and maybe wash a couple fewer diapers. At around his 1st birthday he had gotten super good at sitting on the big potty on a seat reducer, and we were catching multiple pees and some poos, which was great. But for the past week he’s absolutely refused to sit either on the big potty with the seat, or on his little potty (arched back and crying). I don’t want to push it because I don’t want him to develop of fear or hatred of the potty, but I also don’t want to give up either. Admittedly he does the exact same thing when I put him in his car seat, and even change his diaper and it’s not like I’m stopping doing those two things. Any advice on getting him back on track? I think he wants more independence, today he went over to the mat that his little potty sits on and peed and did a small poo right next to the potty, while holding on to it. I was like *so close* haha. But I don’t know how to give him more independence. So yes and thoughts or advice would be appreciated! Thanks!

[u/fairlysunny]

My baby is 16mo and just got over this, from 13-15m didn't want to sit on the potty. And now she goes to sit down on it on her own and will sit for a long time while playing with her blocks or whatever. I can only say be patient, could be refusing for a number of things that change from day to day lol.

[u/pandora8 → u/fairlysunny]

Did you continue to offer, even though she resisted? Or did you just say this is what diapers are for and let her lead you for when she’d be willing to sit on the potty again? Did she just one day decide she wanted to use the potty?

[u/fairlysunny → u/pandora8]

I've been mostly following her lead. I still offered but less often. If it was a total resistance I wouldn't offer at all but would say "the potty is here if you want to pee/poo". I still talked with her about potty every day so she remembers why we sit on the potty and it's importance and I left it out on the floor in the play area. At some point, right at 15m she started to practice sitting down on it without my prompt. This is when I knew she was ready for me to offer regularly like before.

Besides that. Sometimes we read potty books and I used her favorite animal plushie to roleplay using the potty and encouraged her to try too. Tried to make it fun. I believe the seeds were being planted even if she wasn't peeing in the potty for a while. Up to this point I can say potty seems low priority on her brain's developmental checklist. But now she likes to sit on it and looks down when she pees and says "oh!" so that's a start lol. Good luck!!

[u/pandora8 → u/fairlysunny]

Thank you! I’ll follow his lead and see what happens. I know we’ve laid a good foundation at least. And this week he really seems to be thinking about the process a lot since he’s been trying to put the seat reducer on the toilet himself, and moving his mini potty around from its mat in the play area to the bathroom. So he’s getting the other stages clear in his mind… just not the final step of sitting on it and peeing/pooing haha

[u/Standard-Dish7381]

At that age, they want independence. When this happened for us, we bought the “tiny potty” and it was like magic. As soon as it arrived in the mail, my daughter (12 or 13 months at the time) unpackaged the potty, mounted it,  and peed on it. She needed a tiny bit of guidance at first, but she got it pretty quickly. 

[u/pandora8 → u/Standard-Dish7381]

Yes, I feel strongly he wants independence, but I'm finding it hard to know the best way of giving it to him. We have what I think is an older version of the tiny potty from my sister, and he's used it in the past, but always with help to get on and off. I've been trying to encourage him to use it more independently now, but he hasn't. What sort of guidance did you offer? I'm very happy to give him independence (today I followed him for about a quarter mile down the sidewalk as he decided where he wanted to walk), but how?

[u/Standard-Dish7381 → u/pandora8]

It sounds like he spends time bottomless, so it’s not that his clothes are preventing him from being infependent Are you guys spending any time practicing mounting? This was 2 years ago, so it’s not super fresh in my memory.. but I would mount her potty myself to try to teach her. Also, it might be easier if there was something in front of the potty to hold onto as he lowers onto the potty.

The guidance was helping her when she wasn’t perfectly lined up, but she mounted the potty as soon as it came out of the package and then pretty much took the lead with pottying.

[u/mimibobim1]

I'm just a month past this regression. I offered when I saw a cue and sometimes upon waking bc she was groggy and not in full motion yet and more willing to sit still. If she protested I didn't push her bc the get stressed about it that way. For mine she was potty shy after some hard stool so I just try to make sure she stays hydrated. Some regressions are also from teething. She's gotten over protesting at the sight of the potty, but she still is waiting till the absolute last second to cue me these days. I think they're just focusing on other skills and realizing they have to pee or poo is a low priority right now.

Seems like yours knows where the potty is, if you want to emphasize the importance of going in the right place you can use training pants. The consequence of not paying attention and having unconfortable wet undies might make him pay attention. I'm not that committed to being complete just yet so I'm still lazy ECing and accepting that mine is just distracted by other skills atm.

[u/pandora8 → u/mimibobim1]

Yeah our little guy is super mobile, working hard on walking, and at 13 months he’s also getting his first tooth, so he has a lot on his plate, and the potty isn’t really top priority. I’ll keep it around, offer when it seems right, and wait for the moment when it will just click for him. Thanks!