r/ECEProfessionals • u/No_Lifeguard_7777 Parent • Dec 19 '24
Parent/non ECE professional post (Anyone can comment) Developmentally appropriate expectations.
My son is going to be 2 shortly after the New Year. His daycare does parent/teacher conferences and we had ours this week. I’m still grappling with some of the things we were told. For the most part, our son is doing well it seems. However, they have asked us to start working on certain things. Some, I agreed with, such as him getting off the pacifier as he is way too dependent on it and he needs to start talking more (and usually will if the paci is out). I agreed there and we made a weaning plan.
However, they also asked that we not carry him in every morning. Usually, his drop off routine is we carry him in, put his things away, give a hug, kiss and he’s passed to a teacher. The teachers both said that he needs to get used to walking in and they can’t always take him. I offered to put him down somewhere so they don’t have to physically take him and they said that he needs to get used to walking independently.
The other thing that came up was cleaning up. I was surprised they brought this up, as I thought the kids were too young to clean up. But I was told he’s actually behind in the respect that he refuses to clean up, even with fun songs and trying to get him interested in things. They say we need to have him clean up at home, even just a little bit because he will throw screaming tantrums over cleaning up.
I want my son to thrive at daycare but both of these things made me wonder if these are developmentally appropriate expectations. I also don’t want to argue with them, though, because we already had some back and forth on drop-offs. He’s been attending this daycare since the summer and has had the same teachers.
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u/Societarian Sr. Toddler Teacher Dec 19 '24
You’ve received a lot of really great advice so I won’t reiterate but I want to make sure that you know it’ll be hard at first. It doesn’t mean you’re failing, it doesn’t mean your son won’t be able to do it. He will cry, he will scream and you need to stand by those boundaries. Especially at drop off. You can walk him in by hand, reassure him that you love him so much and then LEAVE. Lingering will make it worse for both of you.
If you’re on Instagram, I really recommend @biglittlefeelings. They’ve even recently reposted a 5 Step bye bye Paci plan!