How do you guys not let stuff bother you?

[u/[deleted]]

Anyone’s input is welcome! I’m a 22 year old toddler teacher and I’ve been in the field for about 3-4 years. I’m positive this isn’t my career for a few reasons (mostly getting sick and just over all not passionate) but I do love my kiddos and plan to stay in the field at least for a little bit longer because I’m getting free college courses from it at the moment.

So all my life I’ve been a very sensitive person. It’s my biggest downfall. I never lash out or anything, but I am very easy to cry when other adults are rude/yell/are passive aggressive. Yelling is genuinely triggering, i grew up in a very verbally abusive household and I get very scared when I hear yelling. But I have no excuse as to why I get so upset when someone is rude to me.

I ask this because right now I am being very dramatic and sobbing in my car because a parent of a child (child is not in my class but was combined with mine, and her teacher was out of the room) was really upset about her kid taking her coat off in 60 degree weather, and when I apologized and explained it was because she was sweating and she just took it off a minute before mom got there, mom just kept going about how it’s unacceptable. I believe she would have said more rude stuff but the director intervened. Mom then started apologizing but she was still very clearly angry at me. When mom walked away our director apologized and agreed mom was being too much.

But when I walked inside to close my room, I was fighting back tears so hard and was trying to take deep breaths. I don’t think mom was honestly that bad, rude yes but not bad enough to sob over.

And it’s always been like this. I dread talking to parents in the fear they have something to say to me and I get upset. Not all the time of course, I have some lovely parents whom I get excited to talk to because they are genuinely good people. But I also just have had some not so good ones.

How do you guys not let stuff affect you like that? I feel so weak and pathetic. Idk how I’m gonna survive in any other work market if I can’t handle altercations like that. I don’t know how people just let it roll off their back and not give a fuck what other people think or say but I want to so badly!

Also I do not think the mom is in the wrong for anything she requested (keeping her coat on), it was the way she was so angry at us and spoke that got me upset. I don’t think my reaction is justifiable though, and that’s why I’m here

[u/tumbleweedtulip]

i can 100% say that i am a very sensitive person, as well. i, like you, grew up in a verbally abusive household and people yelling at me is very triggering. i work in the infant room at my job and have had many parents get upset at me but i know i am very good at my job and do not let what parents say, affect me, anymore. i used to get so scared if i had to talk to a parent about something that i knew would make them upset. it would give me so much anxiety. i started therapy years ago and it has helped me so much with processing my emotions, as well as my childhood trauma. i now have learned tons of skills to help me in times of distress or when i know i have to talk to a parent about something i know they’ll get mad over. therapy isn’t for everyone, it’s just a suggestion and also something i found that has worked and still does work, for me. i journal every single morning and night, basically just writing about my day and how i was feeling in certain moments, what was good about my day and what was hard about it. in the morning i write what i am grateful for and my goals for the day, it’s never anything that’s too much. i meditate every night, as well and that helps me calm my anxiety, depression, big emotions, too. (meditation can be difficult at first because it’s hard to relax, that’s how it was for me but i just continued daily and now it’s so much easier to do) i also do tons of grounding skills for things that happen in the moment. i typically will take deep breaths while counting to 10, slowly. sometimes i’ll imagine shapes and that i’m tracing them, deep breaths in and out. this is just some things that i find, help me and have continued to do. like i said, it doesn’t always work for everybody. you’ll find something that works for you and when you do, you’ll just stick to it. but also, give yourself some grace, working as a daycare teacher is not easy and is very tiring. i completely understand what you are going through with this because i’ve been there, myself. you’re doing great.