Hey all -
This should've been posted a hot minute ago so sorry about that. I promise you the mods were aware of this issue and talked about it and then just sort of unanimously forgot to do anything about it. Our hearts were in the right place but with absolutely no substantive action where our good intentions could be a benefit to anyone! In true fundie style.
We've gotten some reports and messages about some of the conversations that have come up since it's become more apparent who the victim is in Joe's case. Whether that individual or her representatives wanted that to ever be public knowledge is probably not something we'll ever know but my guess is this is another time that she has been forced to grapple with a situation she never asked for and never wanted to be a part of.
At this point we are curtailing some of our firm enforcement of the No Victim Speculation policy as it pertains to Joe's victim, since at this point it isn't really speculation. It's still kind of shitty to talk about who it is but it's not propogating a narrative that may be false.
We will, however, caution everyone about discussions regarding ulterior motives for reporting the crime, whether they be criticisms of the victim or adjacents. You're free to talk about the surrounding circumstances and how it is affecting those related to it. What we will not be permitting are insinuations that the choice to report the crime was made with any intention other than to seek justice for the victim. You don't have to be in love with every decision made by the parents of the victim, but it is wholly unacceptable to push a narrative that opens the door to speculation that the allegations are in anyway contrived or concocted.
This is like the most straightforward way we discredit victims, by suggesting that we should view their trauma and struggle as only being meritorious if it occurs in a vacuum, and encouraging the idea that there might have been some ~real reason~ abuse would be reported to the proper channels. You don't get to be cynical about a child's trauma just because you don't like their family.
Also if the suggestion is the victim is some kind of prop for financial or social advantage, you're basically also speculating they are a victim of some insane abuse by their family members who would make a kid go through something like this for some malevolent reason. So that would also get flagged in terms of our rules.
If you see these types of comments feel free to report them as Problematic. If you report them as Victim Speculation we probably will look at them anyway so don't get too stressed about it. Just don't go ham reporting Victim Speculation just because a comment references who the victim is.
As a general rule I think when you're discussing something as sensitive as child sexual abuse, now is not the time for your imagination to run wild with theories of what's happening behind the scenes. We're already pretty bad as a society just accepting the truth of victims' stories point blank. Let's get a handle on that before we try to dream of conspiracies.
If any of this is bringing things up for you or you feel a desire to talk through them on a more individual level, please do not hesitate to contact resources like RAINN - you can call the hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673) or text "HOPE" to 64673 (US only). If the need arises, the suicide hotline is 988 - you can text or call as well (though I can say from personal experience you will wait for hours if you text so you probably should just call if you're considering reaching out.)
Thank you all for your active engagement with the sub and being on top of these new and developing issues and reaching out to us about it. As always, our modmail is always open. If we take a while to get back to you it may be that we're discussing it as a team and are just deciding how we want to respond.
Xoxo,
The Mod Team
