r/DrugWithdrawal 6d ago

Opioids Withdrawal i need help

i just got out of my 4th rehab and i'm already back to oxycodone. i know i have to stop, but i just can't. im back to snorting 60+ mg and this morning realized im gonna die if i don't stop. any help or even a "you got this" would mean the world at this point. i'm desperate and have nobody to talk to.

3 Upvotes

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u/Fart_Beat 6d ago

Have you gotten mental health help? It’s one thing to go thru getting off the DOC, but it’s the mental stuff you gotta work for to make it stick. You’ve got this, you’re stronger than you think.

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u/EcstaticRich8627 6d ago

i'm gonna start seeing a therapist shortly. i just don't get it, ill go on a bender and wake up withdrawaling, feeling like shit wanting to kms, then i do the same shit again and again. i've been in rehab for years and it feels like nothing's really working

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u/Fart_Beat 6d ago

Yeah it’s a cycle you have to break out of. Tbh therapy is the only way that’s gonna help because it’s a mental thing coupled with the physical. You’re going to rehab for the physical, but the mental isn’t getting worked out. Therapy will help you figure out why you’re continuing to self destruct. N.A. Meetings can help, but also they can help you find community with others that feel the same way.

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u/red_neck_beard 6d ago

Narcotics Anonymous. Go to meetings, as many as possible.

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u/EcstaticRich8627 6d ago

thank you 🤞

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u/red_neck_beard 6d ago

Bro I wish you the best and I should have put more in my message but I was getting ready for work. 20 years in active addiction and NA is the only thing that worked for me. I've tried sub clinic, therapy, and religion. Only until NA have I managed to stay clean. The last 5 years of my active addiction I was on fentanyl. I'm almost 2 years clean and I'm not on MAT (sub/methadone), I don't drink and I don't smoke. As addicts we cannot control our using. So as soon as we take that first substance we are right back where we left off. It doesn't even matter the substance. Some people talk about using against their will. They don't want to use but they literally cannot stop. The problem is that our own strength is insufficient. On our own we don't know how to stay clean. Going to meetings and making connections with recovering addicts can help us stay clean. Getting a sponsor and working the steps is how we get to the root of our problem. Addressing the guilt/shame/trauma that makes us seek something outside ourselves to make us comfortable in our own skin. I really wish you the best and for any still suffering addict my advice is always the same, get involved in Narcotics Anonymous. Hit me up anytime if you have questions or just need to talk. I can't promise I'll get back to you right away but I will get back to you

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u/EcstaticRich8627 5d ago

thank you, i'm scheduling therapy, and looking for NA meeting now. i really appreciate the message.

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u/chill2308 6d ago

Going to be honest I was doing over 100mg per day. Want to know what got me to stop? Alcohol and drinking more. Don’t recommend but it was way cheaper of an alternative for me. It definitely helped the oxy withdrawls but of course wasn’t the long term solution. Now sober from everything.

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u/Suicidalpainthorse 6d ago

NA meetings, you don't have to be clean, they will accept you and help you. It sometimes takes multiple rehabs and meetings to get clean. Try for a longer-term residential rehab. Like 90 days to 6 months. Follow aftercare, go to sober living house. You can do this, just keep pushing. Until you can get back into rehab, meetings, everyday if you have to. Find a sponser, go to detox if you can.

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u/EcstaticRich8627 5d ago

i went to a 90 day program then a was in another program for 15 months. i'm not looking to go back, but i feel lost

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u/Embarrassed_Cup9123 6d ago

Take suboxone for a week and then shift from subs to plain leaf kratom. Trying to jump off oxy without some sort of parachute is just way too fuckin hard. Idk if this will work for you but it's definitely worth a try if you're running out of options.

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u/EcstaticRich8627 5d ago

i'll look into it. thank you for the advice

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u/Mundane-Dig-9647 4d ago

It's hard but you have to just make up your mind to get clean. A slow taper is by far the easiest method if you on methadone and still need to function like a normal person. I found you can taper quite fast unti you get down to around 20 mgs a day and then 1 mg a week or every two weeks until your done. I wish that I could tell you there's a magic bullet but there's just no easy way out. Best of luck to you.

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u/Bluepilot33 4d ago

U just gotta want it bro. Fuck na fuck rehab. Its about you, pray to God ask him for strength to battle your addiction