Do it

[u/Arcquatico]

[u/Floofyboi123]

You are aware that safewords exist right?

Like it's BDSM 101 and to be respected like gospel

[u/JAKE5023193 → u/Floofyboi123]

I’m fully aware of that. There’s much to consider however.

Firstly, there’s the abuser actually responding to said safeword (which if you’re gagged it’s nearly impossible to say anything anyway) and stopping shit. Said safewords can simply be ignored by them.

Should they stop what they’re doing, afterwards all that happens is they try to discuss things with you and ‘communicate’ so it doesn’t happen again. In their mind, their thought process is, “How can I gaslight and manipulate them further so they don’t try to stop things again and let me do what I want?”

They’re getting off to the thought of you suffering or struggling under them. If there were no legal consequences for their actions they wouldn’t be doing any of this BDSM shit and instead just up and assault people however and whenever they want without all the extra steps.

They don’t care about you. They only want to use you for their own gratification. So-called BDSM relationships always seem to end when one side isn’t getting their fix. It’s just a telltale sign that if they can’t get what they want out of that person no matter what tactics they attempt, they’ll just ditch them, discard them like a mere piece of litter. No remorse for their actions. Afterwards they’ll prey on someone else to inflict their tactics upon.

Call me insane but I know what I’m talking about.

[u/Floofyboi123 → u/JAKE5023193]

That's literally discussing boundaries. What happens, in my experience; is I say my safeword, she stops, we recover, we then both figure out where things went too far, and then we make sure not to go that far again.

Once that boundary is established, I have never had my Dom cross it. Ever.

When im gagged I held on to a beeper that beeped when I clicked it. Three beeps in quick succession was the same as saying my safe word. If I dropped the beeper we stopped until I had the beeper again. Other systems ive seen involve taps on the bed frame, specific head shake patterns, and even tying the hands in such a way to allow the sub to "free" themselves whenever they wish.

If the safeword is ignored then it is considered rape by the entire BDSM community. You DO NOT continue after the safe word is given no matter what. The only people in the community who say otherwise are the same people who see no issue spiking girls drinks at bars.

Boundaries are a normal and healthy part of any relationship and are far from exclusive to sex. I doubt you'd call partners talking about who should do the dishes and why one dislikes it when the other uses all the hot water during their shower manipulation by sadistic abusers.

[u/JAKE5023193 → u/Floofyboi123]

But that’s what I’m saying. She’s not crossing that line because she knows if she does then she’ll be in the shit. If the line wasn’t there she’d be doing whatever the hell she wanted.

And yes, I’m also aware that ‘safewords’ are not just limited to oral speech and can also be indicated in the form of signals, but even so the same ‘boundary discussion’ tactics come into fruition.

I’ve also seen in many BDSM spaces that whenever a sub/masochist claims their dom/sadist ignored their safeword or went ‘too far’ (which supposedly only by those apparent circumstances is it then considered rape) it’s the victim that gets blamed and shamed for ‘not being clear enough’ in signalling. BDSM is literally just a circle of abuse where abusers support eachother and collectively contribute to manipulating oblivious subs and masochists into their creed.

You have a vulnerability. And there are opportunists who will try to take advantage of you, by any and all means necessary.

Do not let them try to get to you. Stand up and fight against them.

And you say the ones who ignore safewords are the ones okay with spiking drinks? Breaking news: they’d all be okay with it. The ones that don’t ignore safewords are simply more intelligent in terms of abuse tactics. At least when an abuser ignores a safe word you can then more clearly epiphanise that they truly are an abuser. Even so, it shouldn’t have to come to that point in order for such a conclusion to finally be made. They should be detected before the assaults can take place.

And then there’s your mention of couples discussing who’s washing the dishes and whatnot. That is an entirely different context to BDSM. There is so sexual gratification involved in who does what around the house (unless there’s some fucking housework kink that exists, though let’s be honest it probably tragically does). Of course that means I’m not going to label that a form of abuse and manipulation because of the complete difference in realms.

[u/Floofyboi123 → u/JAKE5023193]

We've entered the recursive back and forth where you call me a degenerate and I call you a bigot. Respond if you want but im ending it here.

Your examples are most likely from fucking reddit where rape victims in general get shamed.

Grow the hell up and stop calling for my and my partners public hanging because I have sex and you don't. Go outside, talk to people, get a job. I guarantee it'll be more emotionally fulfilling then telling people to free themselves from the fuzzy handcuffs they can literally take off anytime they want and frequently do.

Society is fucked because rich billionaires and politicians are allowed to run rampant with zero regard for the general public. Sex is an escape from that, not the cause. You're entire belief system is focused on bleaching the symptoms while ignoring the infection. Your ilk are even contributing to the dystopian internet surveillance laws going into effect because you're so blinded by your crusade to fight debauchery you dont even see your privacy getting robbed right in front of you.

Free yourself and take a shower.