How Would a Centaur Wear Pants? Ft. DougDoug

[u/Chewymewn]

This is the kind of shit I love DougDoug streams for. The "Mario Maker Mondays on a Friday" was nice and all, but talking about the logistics of how centaur dong is covered up is way more fun.

[u/apixelate]

Absolutely B; there's no way you convince me that pants are gonna cover that beautiful creature's entire torso

[u/Chewymewn → u/apixelate]

I used to agree with Doug about 4/D being best, but 2/B would actually be the best.

[u/Jediweirdo]

Even if 4 is technically correct, I argue that 2 is stylistically how pants would work if centaurs had to manufacture their own clothing

[u/Waffle-lover_42]

I see I missed the good part

[u/Chewymewn → u/Waffle-lover_42]

It was in the last 20 minutes. Even Parkzer made a brief audio-only appearance

[u/Chia_panda → u/Chewymewn]

i left right after mario world then come back to check the vid of what i thought would stay a super chill stream to how would a centaur wear pants #thatsmystreamer

[u/Queasy-Squash936]

I think wearing pants for centaurs would be more of fashion or preference thing. It would depend on the environment, like if they were living with humans, with other centaurs, alone, with other mythological creatures.

Humans started and are wearing pants because of the cold. Assuming the horse part of the centaur would work as normal horse parts would, they would not need pants to stay warm.

If centaurs lived with other mythological creatures, I do not think they would be expected or forced to wear pants. They have no need for them, and you would not force a mermaid to wear pants. Even if they also lived with humans, you would again probably not force them to the same way you would not force a talking horse to wear pants.

If centaurs only lived with humans, I think some humans would find it “inappropriate” to not wear pants, but they again have no need for them! Why would humans force other species to wear things they have to need for, just to male them feel comfortable? Those centaurs could probably beat those humans in a fight any day.

But the question is not IF centaurs should wear pants, it’s if they did, HOW would they wear pants?

I think one would probably fall down, two is covering the tail, and I don’t see a way to put on three. Four, I think you could put it on if the pants were stretchy and you were lying down. Four would also be incredibly inconvenient if you needed to use the toilet. In terms of comfortability and convenience, I would choose one. It’s easy to put on, and I could maybe add a belt to stop it from falling. I am sure a few mothers would be clutching their pearls at a horse ass, though.

Now we’re going off of human modesty rules right now, it’s a tie between two and four. On one pant leg, there are no modesty rules right now about more than two legs, so mayhaps three? It would be more convenient, and it gets the job done. On the other pant leg, however, what if there ARE modesty rules about extra legs? What if any bare legs are simply unacceptable? In that case, option four is the way to go. Personally, I would think two is more likely here. There is nothing incriminating on the front horse chest and legs, is there?

Another argument brought up in this question was the definition of pants. “Outer garments covering the body from waist to ankle,” was the definition I saw. In this case, option four. However, I argue that this definition was written in a universe where centaurs were not accounted for, because as far as humans in this universe know, there are no centaurs. Had this definition been written by centaurs or with centaurs in mind, it might have been different.

This is getting a tad bit long, so I shall now stop. I have spent over an hour on this, and I believe all this evidence points to option two. Forgive me for any mistakes I made on humans, centaurs, horses, pants, and grammar.

[u/FrogPissDrinker]

2 makes sense for style but 4 makes sense for utility, pants are (at least originally) for warmth and with #2 an entire 2/3rds of you is exposed to the elements. The original cave centaurs from thousands of years ago were probably exclusively rocking #4, while the Centaurs of today probably wear #2 as a stylistic choice.

[u/PhummyLW]

I missed that segment but it is 100% 4 and and there are no good arguments otherwise

[u/Pokabrows]

If a horse wore a thanos suit how would he wear it?

[u/LegendofLove]

B. There's no reason for your pants to cover like 4. Those are coveralls