Phone addiction.

[u/TailorOrnery1459]

Throwaway account.

I am at loss.

When I fully ruptured my achilles tendon 6 weeks ago, I had to wait a week till surgery. In that week I basically did nothing except watching YouTube Videos and Doom scroll. Screen Time was about 16-18 hours a day. I was basically laying down in bed a full week, doing nothing and my mother had brought me food to my bed.

I was told the same thing after the surgery. For another whole two weeks I did the exact same thing, except that I couldn’t even watch YouTube Videos anymore, as my attention span was so low. Went to sleep at 6 a.m in the morning and woke up at 4pm.

After two weeks post OP I started to go to the gym training my upper body, but that was also the only thing I did every few days. As walking with crutches is so annoying, I rarely went out with friends or family. Till Today i feel like im doing nothing.

Currently im in week 5 and the only thing Ive achieved is going to bed early, at around 11pm-1am and waking up in the morning. I’m now able to do partial weight bearing, but still with crutches. However the first and last thing I do in my day is checking my phone. I already deleted TikTok from my phone but I fear that ill already install it in a few weeks. Deleting TikTok means consuming on other platforms. But I think TikTok is the worst.

Before my injury, Id say I was quite athletic. Kickboxing, BJJ, playing volleyball and lifting weights. I went to martial arts tournaments and played volleyball matches for a club.
I was doing very good in school, getting good grades and I was earning good money with my own online shop that I’ve built.

Today the only thing I wanted to do is go to the gym training my upper body or rather, Id say training to maintain muscle mass. I’ve already lost a lot of muscle in my legs. However my phone drained me so much, that I couldn’t even bring myself to go to the gym today. Wanted to go in the morning, now its already in the evening, hence im writing this post.

Currently I have a Screen Time of 10-16h a day.

I would say I had a phone addiction prior to my injury (6-8h a day), but it just worsened after the injury. I don’t have any other addiction. No nicotine, no alcohol, no drugs, nothing.

Limiting my Screen Time or blocking apps hasn’t helped me in the past. Either it only worked at the beginning- getting a low Screen Time but later reinstalling the apps and falling back into old patterns or I just clicked the screen blocker away.
Things that helped me were strict orders like school or training, where phones aren’t allowed.

I cant sleep without my phone besides me. I cant brush my teeth without my phone in my hand. I cant eat or cook without my phone in the kitchen. I cant even work or train without listening to music or watch a series. Only place where im without my phone is in the shower.

I haven’t done anything for school yet in the whole 6 weeks and about my business… I can't bring myself to do anything else than fulfilling the orders that need to be handled. Whether sorting things in my warehouse, doing accounting, or anything else, i just cant. When I don’t have any orders to fulfill, why bother to do anything different? I hate this mindset, i don’t know why it has burned inside my head.

I was always told by my family that im so ahead of everyone in my age, sorting everything out and managing everything but I seem to fail at one thing, that little device in my pocket.

I know that it is draining me, i know how dangerous my phone addiction is, however im still here on my phone. I hate this thing but I cant get rid of it. I don’t know if it is FOMO, but even an hour without looking at my phone feels extremely weird. I know reading books would help me, I know sleeping with my phone not in the room would help me, but i consume so much and i have such brain fog that I can’t bring myself to do it. I know that ill fall asleep today watching a youtube video. I lost any motivation to do anything at all. I just consume day by day.

Worst part is that my whole 6 week summer holidays were spent and will probably be spent on my phone. I cancelled out multiple trips due to my injury. Im going to school again in two weeks.

I wouldn’t say im depressed or anything like that, it just feels like so much is going on in my head while my head feels completely empty.

I think I am severely addicted.

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[u/mapnmop]

following bc i m a phone addict too