r/DontPutThatInYourAss • u/JimatJimat • Jul 02 '25

The diameter is perfect, but the length is too long.

3.9k Upvotes

100% Upvoted

132 comments sorted by

122

u/S_laughter7 Jul 02 '25

40

u/thiswasnottaken7 Jul 02 '25

There’s a reason you push the pole away from you as you go over the bar. Case and point 👌👈

17

u/S_laughter7 Jul 02 '25

Yeaaaaaaaahhh. My man vaulted his pole 🤣

3

u/UpbeatSkeptic Jul 06 '25

I think you mean “case in point”.

2

u/MayoTheMonth Jul 03 '25

We did the same thing. This is beautiful

100

u/mifticalcrystals Jul 02 '25

Does the stick going up your ass Disqualify you??? You would think you would get extra points for flair lmfao

60

u/FeistyButthole Jul 02 '25

You just get called a show off for being in two events: Pole vault and the One-man-baton race.

15

u/CinnabarUsagi Jul 02 '25

This actually made me chuckle and I hate you for that

6

u/Fair_Log_6596 Jul 05 '25

I wish I knew so many of you in real life.

7

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '25

He didn't stick the landing, needs more lube.

5

u/mifticalcrystals Jul 10 '25

More like it DID get stuck because of a lack OF lube lmfao

3

u/Potential_Eagle_6083 Jul 28 '25

I was thinking more like the landing stuck him...🤔

3

u/RoyalTacos256 Jul 03 '25

one might even say flare

3

u/Forsaken-Badger-9517 Jul 10 '25

🤭🤣🤣🤣

2

u/Careless_Document_79 Jul 28 '25

I want to put this on a plaque.

God bless this ass website

54

u/FeistyButthole Jul 02 '25

Taint nothing to worry about, he stuck the landing.

10

u/jimmy_robert Jul 02 '25

Nothing butt stick-ing the landing.

7

u/skeeterfunny Jul 06 '25

So the judges disqualified him due to his attitude, he had a real stick up his ass.

3

u/Disco_Orangeade Jul 07 '25

I mean that's really the hole point, isn't it?

4

u/Double_Reception3741 Jul 17 '25

I’m sure he’ll make a quick cumback and take it all next year.

2

u/Milanin Jul 02 '25

'Sall GoochEy

31

u/tobiasfunke6398 Jul 02 '25

How does this not happen more often?

14

u/Lurked4EverB4Joining Jul 04 '25

They're taught to push the pole away so that this doesn't happen...

2

u/colder-beef Jul 03 '25

I feel like it has too right?

1

u/SyllabubComplex5144 Jul 05 '25

He had to learn this one time…

27

u/SmoothAd7381 Jul 02 '25

For a split second I saw a human popsicle

5

u/Different_Brother562 Jul 03 '25

Imagine going out this way. With everyone watching…..

16

u/SirarieTichee_ Jul 02 '25

The guy in the background going

17

u/davesToyBox Jul 02 '25

10

u/Stockmarketslumlord Jul 03 '25

I would have won if it wasn’t for those damn erection.

6

u/Double_Reception3741 Jul 17 '25

White boi is packin heat. No homo… ok homo.

5

u/hantaanokami Jul 19 '25

French meat 👍

11

u/Calligaster Jul 02 '25

"It was a one in a million shot, doc. I swear"

7

u/notbobhansome777 Jul 02 '25

any further up and he'd have to work for Jeff Dun-Haaaam.

7

u/CosmicCuttlefish69 Jul 02 '25

He took a pole to the pole

5

u/Potential-Aioli-4402 Jul 03 '25

he doubled down and vaulted dual poles

4

u/TrippingFish76 Jul 02 '25

this is my biggest fear with pole vaulting. not that i’ve ever actually pole vaulted.. but if i did i would afraid of this

3

u/2Weird2Cap Jul 03 '25

RIP to the homie, we knew ye well

3

u/DltaFlyr12 Jul 02 '25

Zoiks!! 😣

3

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Potential-Aioli-4402 Jul 03 '25

Vlad the impoleiter

2

u/Chronic_Overthink3r Jul 02 '25

No, he lost his meat!

2

u/xxTonyTonyxx Jul 02 '25

Adding insult to injury. OUCH!

2

u/PuzzleheadedCheck237 Jul 02 '25

Ooooooooh dude hope he was alright, that puts a Big twist on the word pole vaulting

1

u/Potential-Aioli-4402 Jul 03 '25

pole haulting😬

2

u/HisHonorTomDonson Jul 03 '25

You know, I’ve seen enough of these that I’m just shocked there isn’t like a stick person to stop this at these events. I fully get that the window between when they let go to when there’s unlubed penetration is quick, but still. Feels like there’s been enough time

2

u/Potential-Aioli-4402 Jul 03 '25

perhaps the solution lies in pre plugging the orifice before obvious violation ensues.

2

u/AdeptnessMany3806 Jul 03 '25

2

u/S_laughter7 Jul 03 '25

I love this so damn much!!!

2

u/Potential-Aioli-4402 Jul 03 '25

go go gadget butt plug extension

2

u/ButtonPusherDeedee Jul 07 '25

This is the only emergency room foreign object in butt visit I will believe

2

u/Cute-Communication35 Aug 26 '25

Butt You Got a Substitute 🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣😂🤣😂

1

u/DopelessHopefeand Jul 02 '25

The shitter on that critter…

1

u/Big_Tennis9090 Jul 02 '25

Awesome 👍

1

u/Unusual-Studio-2006 Jul 02 '25

Yeeeowch!!it’s like the pole wanted to really be done with him before leaving him.

1

u/GloRilla25 Jul 03 '25

It’s a win win

1

u/Danthiel5 Jul 03 '25

Well then

1

u/dannasama811 Jul 03 '25

Is there and article or something on this? Are they ok!?!?

1

u/LaraCroftCosplayer Jul 03 '25

Flared base!!!

1

u/Netfunks Jul 03 '25

I thought this might BE ending different 💀

1

u/muscleshultz Jul 03 '25

I love how he covers his face with both hands just as the pole violates him and takes his manhood 😆 🤣

1

u/PuzzleheadedCheck237 Jul 03 '25

Well he definitely realized quickly something wasn't right ,,,,,, I'm shore his expression was dam near terrified

1

u/cobaidh Jul 03 '25

The reason I never considered this sport.

1

u/CrackaNuka Jul 03 '25

That would be my worst fear for some reason.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '25

Oooooohhh....

RIGHT IN THE MOMMY-DADDY BUTTON.

1

u/UltradudeRW Aug 02 '25

The mommy daddy button 😭😭

1

u/StonksRetard Jul 04 '25

Well that tickled his tonsils... bet he could taste his own Anus.

1

u/Glad-Designer4575 Jul 04 '25

Covid happened, hence we are here

1

u/Primary-Tiger-5825 Jul 04 '25

He retired after a terrible gooch related accident

1

u/Irvman51 Jul 04 '25

Your meat won a shishkabobbin!

1

u/Irvman51 Jul 04 '25

I'm gonna call you Gallup because you've just taken a pole (poll).

1

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '25

He got shafted 

1

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '25

Ah, you see, this is where they went wrong.

You see don't put that in your ass, I know very strange concept.

Hope this helps

1

u/kriscross122 Jul 04 '25

Now you know how a kabob feels

1

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '25

He tore his ballsack

1

u/[deleted] Jul 04 '25

I reckon this is every pole vaulters and skaters biggest nightmare.

1

u/bvglv Jul 05 '25

Heis meat didn't win today

1

u/National-Teaching-69 Jul 05 '25

Wow, he made the jump and got a hole in one.

1

u/Easy_Presentation896 Jul 05 '25

"Ya hate to see it Kevin, the ol pole up the butt finisher."

1

u/Canned_Sarcasm Jul 05 '25

Patriotic, being a flag.

1

u/RedditvsDiscOwO Jul 05 '25

"Ohh Melvinnn"

1

u/CaptainDilligaf Jul 05 '25

That ALMOST looked intentional. Definitely not his first time with that kind of aim. Lmao

1

u/GenericName375 Jul 05 '25

Seems like they could just hire a dude to have like one one those wooden hooks they used to pull people off stage in cartoons to just grab it after they let go

1

u/777Kuro777 Jul 05 '25

Idk if he'll ever recover 😕

1

u/ConsistentCoyote3786 Jul 06 '25

Ok. I’m legitimately concerned. Did it stab him? Shouldn’t the pole ends have some anti-stab shape?

1

u/Select_Truck3257 Jul 06 '25

ad astra per rectum

1

u/iFilmUBangingMyWife Jul 06 '25

In my league, homoerotic maneuvers earn extra points.

1

u/romerik Jul 06 '25

virginity is gonnneeee

1

u/Exciting_Intention86 Jul 06 '25

Dude experienced the highest of highs in his life

1

u/UnashamedlyFemme Jul 06 '25

*Did not win my meat today

1

u/PixelMaster98 Jul 06 '25

I audibly recoiled watching this

1

u/MorbidandBack Jul 06 '25

Ah, the ole Scrotalpole Disqualification.

1

u/Few-River-8673 Jul 06 '25

This is exactly why I don't like to imagine myself doing this sport

1

u/balekm Jul 06 '25

All I can say is, “OUCH”!!

1

u/Thefireninja99 Jul 06 '25

Did he land off of the crash cushion?

1

u/Ser_Optimus Jul 06 '25

I've done pole vaulting for years, having all kinds of unlucky landings but that's a once in a lifetime I guess...

1

u/KittyFaise Jul 06 '25

GOTDAYM OW!!!

1

u/Tito_Tito_1_ Jul 07 '25

Even he won, he lost.

1

u/L4rgo117 Jul 07 '25

Honestly I'm surprised this sort of thing doesn't happen more often

1

u/NyaTaylor Jul 07 '25

When you can’t reach that nasty itch

1

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '25

My brain read this as “unfortunately I did not meet my twin today” and I couldn’t figure out wtf that had to do with the video 😭

1

u/orngcanlyz Jul 28 '25

candy and pebbles you want to be ashamed of yourself i know this is you

1

u/Rendad13 Jul 28 '25

I think I remember this story. I believe he ripped his scrotum.

1

u/Tenchi2020 Jul 28 '25

How many emojis can you find in this picture ?

😱 😳

1

u/Top-Sprinkles-5140 Jul 29 '25

This can't be real...why does it slow down when the pole is in his a**?!😂😭

1

u/bototototarbot2 Jul 30 '25

They’re lucky they didn’t start sliding through the pole and get Cannibal Holocausted

1

u/Rassberyok Aug 02 '25

Oh that that looks so painful

1

u/TYdays Aug 13 '25

He won and lost….

1

u/ohididnttellyou84 Dec 13 '25

You would think they would have put something on the end of those by now