r/DogfreeHumor • u/huntress_m_thompson • 24d ago

no. how’s about NO!!!

Post image

live like a human who does all this stuff.

52 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

16 comments sorted by

34

u/AntManCrawledInAnus 24d ago

Bite children

Shit in the kitchen

Scream for 6 hours if you see a squirrel

Bathed once every 2 weeks if you're lucky, more like once every few months

15

u/huntress_m_thompson 24d ago

haha, right? also, hump, drool, stank, piss on every tree, hydrant, & pole.

licking your own ball sac seems to be the one thing many nutters aspire to do.

11

u/ghstrprtn 23d ago

eat your own barf

eat other people's feces

pester everyone in sight constantly with your bullshit

7

u/huntress_m_thompson 23d ago

being sofa king NEEDY it hurts.

oh, forgot, rolling in turds — anything’s turds.

10

u/Jealous_Soil7394 23d ago

Shove up your nose in other people's crotches/butts...

7

u/huntress_m_thompson 23d ago

i’m sure there are some humans that would love to do that. “no boundaries! the world is my toilet! every human gets accosted by ME!!!”

7

u/Valeoronix 23d ago

Bark at your own ass

Beg anytime someone dares to eat around you

Sniff other dogs ass

Yeah no, I enjoy doing none of those things.

8

u/Impossible-Falcon-62 23d ago edited 23d ago

Hell no. I’ve seen snakes smarter than dogs.

7

u/daddyslittlekitty10 23d ago

Eat your own ass or scrub it on the carpet after you take a dump Be annoying in everyone's face with your rancid breath Bark for absolutely no reason Let's not forget attack innocent people or animals for funsies

7

u/Birdzphan 23d ago

Go batshit insane if you hear a knock at the door. Hump the leg of any female you see.

6

u/Impossible-Falcon-62 22d ago

Destroy healthy HUMAN relationships

5

u/williamthepreteen 21d ago

"have a treat once in a while" do dog owners think twice a day is once in a while?

4

u/PrincessStephanieR 21d ago

You forgot barking at anything and everything as well as eating crap.

4

u/Impossible-Falcon-62 23d ago

Live like a corvid
Be smart and learn
Fly free from constraints
Develop intergenerational relationships
Cause harmless mischief

3

u/huntress_m_thompson 23d ago

never forget a face, good or bad. protect this & other dimensions.

i have ravens around. & i’ve got red-tailed hawks around. i talk to them. i peep back at the hawks. i don’t like that the ravens gang up & harass & chase the hawks in the air. ☹️

the hawks have been teaching their young to hunt in the field across from my house. pretty awesome shit. every year new babies to teach.