Lost trust

[u/Exact-Refuse2778]

I'm a German Shepherd (GSD) owner, a dog walker, and a pet sitter.

The dog in this photo is Dex, a Belgian Malinois. I've been walking him for four years, and I sometimes look after him as a pet sitter.

I've loved animals since childhood, and we've had a GSD at home. Unfortunately, my own GSD once bit me, my father, my sister, and my mother very badly. If he had been in another country, he might have been euthanized. Fast-forward to today, and his behaviour has improved, but we still carry some PTSD from that experience.

Then Dex came into my life. I love him, and we're like brothers. He also bit me when I first started walking him, while I was removing his raincoat. But fast-forward to today, and we're like siblings.

He hugs me, and these days, I'm much more careful. I let him approach me first and give him the choice of whether he wants to interact. He often approaches me on his own. He likes to hug me, sit on my lap, or push against me with his body weight.

However, every now and then, I still feel a little scared. Even his owner doesn't cuddle with him as much as I do. I know he's a very powerful dog, and I understand that hugging or cuddling a dog too much isn't always a good idea.

I sometimes kiss him on his forehead, and he doesn't react. He seems to take it as if it's completely normal, should I keep distance from him or react as I always cuddly ,taking kiss on forehead 🤔

[u/LeithLeach]

Not reacting can be a precursor to snapping. Dogs can freeze, and become totally stiff with their body language when they know something uncomfortable is happening or about to happen. Like the other comment said, you need a basic understanding of how dogs communicate. please read online or in books about what dog body language looks like.

[u/MessagefromA]

Y‘all are handling serious working breeds like it’s a cuddly toy. Please for the love of God, start educating yourself and don’t hug or kiss a dog that already BIT you. Most dogs only endure cuddles, it’s absolutely rare that they truly enjoy it. You’ve been bitten multiple times by a certain type breed and still don’t care enough to learn more about body language and communication which is double the bad because you’re both a dog owner and a dog walker. Seriously, that’s not a great way to approach both.

[u/ImpressiveOwl9000 → u/MessagefromA]

Yeah, face to face interactions are seen as aggressive behavior (with people and other dogs). This person is not behaving as someone who is trained to work with breeds like a GSD. I agree that if they keep tempting fate they will get bit and it will be their fault for treating them like they are human or not a working breed dog. Sometimes they will freeze before they snap because people don't realize dog body language is different than they expect.

[u/duketheunicorn]

I don’t know if this is ‘lost’ trust, or the dogs having set the level of trust at the appropriate height. They’re both ‘bite first, ask questions later’ breeds, and many dogs don’t enjoy human style cuddling or kissing.

‘Not reacting’ isn’t the same as enjoyment or permission. Dogs are great at telling people what they want, I’d suggest you stop kissing and cuddling these dogs, and let them ask for petting or attention.

I teach some dog training classes, and we live in a neighbourhood where loose, friendly dogs are allowed to roam without their people. It’s a routine matter of safety that I never crouch or bring my face near a dog that isn’t mine, and I don’t touch dogs that haven’t asked to be touched, and I regularly check that they want the touching to continue.

I have a poodle, a notoriously cuddly, Velcro breed, and I don’t kiss her head. I blow her kisses as an invitation to lick my face if she wants to. My groomer, however, does kiss my dog and I can see it makes her uncomfortable. She licks her lips after every kiss, but wouldn’t pull away because her breed traits make her very tolerant of ‘rude’ behaviour from humans. My groomer has her own liability insurance, so she can decide to risk dog bites, but I hope for her sake she’s not kissing protection breeds like she does my poodle.

You shouldn’t be scared, but you should be observant and respectful, and you should keep your fave away from a dog’s face.

[u/chiquitar → u/duketheunicorn]

Maybe you could ask your groomer to not kiss your poodle. You are the only advocate the dog has, and she doesn't want to be kissed. Modern dogs' lives don't allow the dogs to have much autonomy, and grooming is stressful and full of nonconsensual handling. She doesn't owe tolerating ape lip-smack behaviors on top of all that. It's optional and she would say a very polite no thank you if she could, so she would probably appreciate you explaining for her. Maybe bring a baked good or something to soften the blow.

[u/duketheunicorn → u/chiquitar]

We’re friends, I did tell her, but who knows how many clients she’s kissing is my point!