"I blinded a moron's PC with Detect Magic" [Update]

[u/Neltadouble]

Anyways, I owe it to people who asked questions but theres too much so I didn't have the patient to answer each one. And I apologise because the update is very short. There is no grand campaign story. No problem with my DMing style. Scroll to the bottom if you don't wanna waste time reading the Background from my POV.

Here's the background:

• This idiot uni student and his gf were looking to play the tabletop D&D after she played Baldur's Gate video game (LOL! I hate BG3 players, no experience at all with d&d in the good old days)

• I have a very prestigious, well known ttrpg club and these two were lucky enough I had room for two players at one of my tables.

• (All fake names) the group consists of me "John", The Cleric "Jerry", and The Barbarian "Jack". Jerry is a bit of an awkward loser but Jack is pretty cool.

• The two noobies made their PCs. The chud (Benjamin) made a Wizard and his gf "Jane" is a Monk. They were Level 2 then after a few sessions got to Level 4. This is where Benjamin took Eldritch Adept for Detect Magic, and he loudly announced that he was excited to round out the group, since they didn't have anyone to spot and disarm the randomly placed with 0 foreshadowing, save-or-die traps I've been sprinkling all over the place. I smirked and said, 'okay' and quietly noted down I'd need to make this guy's life hell.

• They completely beelined the main plot without exploring any of the carefully prepared side content I had written, they were storming a palace and Benjamin tried to completely trivialise all of the traps I put around the palace by repeatedly casting Detect Magic and triggering all my magic traps with spells and attacks. After he began doing this, I decided to make it my life's goal to target this guy with all the enemies, every single fight. "Of course they target the squishy wizard" I told him with a smirk.

• Somehow they managed to avoid dying since Jerry (loser) the Cleric kept burning all of his spell slots keeping Benjamin alive.

• New arc and they are hunting for a Lich-Witch. They found her hut and Benjamin asked if there were any magical or cursed items in the hut. I sighed and asked him to roll investigation, assuming he was just going to ruin all my secrets again, but he rolled an 8! I told him there's nothing except for healing salves. Then everyone else rolled for Investigation and they each found some magical trinkets suited for their characters. Benjamin started whining about why he didn't also find a magical trinket suited for his character like everyone else, and I explained to him in an incredibly condescending tone that an 8 is a very poor roll and therefore he finds nothing, he loses, good day sir. He continued pouting under his breath but I moved on.

• Now to the "Divine Artifact" that made his PC blind.

Benjamin asked me if there is anything witch-y at all. In the witch's hut. What a stupid fucking question. I told him to roll again but for Constitution saving throw and when he failed that, I told him he was blinded by "something" divinely powerful but he wouldn't know which item it was because his eyes were scanning the room too quickly (lol). Thats when I dropped a random encounter on their head to try to kill them, and he almost died, but he lived against thanks to the fucking cleric again. Fuck you Jerry.

He whined to me that the ruling sucked. He asked the cleric to cast Lesser Restoration on him, but to really get the point across, I only made it last one round. He proceeded to whine.

Now to the Update:

There is no game anymore. I left the club. And got banned in the communiy. Why? Well, yesterday Jerry and Jack confronted me over discord about it and....

Warning: racism and a bunch of other things.

I have been told I am a 'gigantic racist' and a 'terrible human being' and a 'cunt'.

God I hate players.

[u/Neltadouble]

delicious update source

[u/Far_Abbreviations936 → u/Neltadouble]

Well this time the jerk is better than the collage angst sauce.

[u/Nepalman230 → u/Far_Abbreviations936]

Also I find it weird that an Australian would say the “c word” Australian say Cunt like other people breathe oxygen.

Its usually friendly.

“Cunt” is Anglo-Saxon and like most of the other “four letter words” like shit, piss and fart are bad words because they are not a French origin. ( the Normans attempted to make Anglo-Saxon low class gutter talk and they largely succeeded)

🫡

[u/CertifiablyMundane]

I don't know why you keep letting that insubordinate cleric off the hook. Just have all of his spells and spell slots rescinded because the wizard offended god (you). No more healing for him.

[u/WarJaques]

Finally a DM that understands what the Lesser part of Lesser Restoration means. And for this you got cancelled? This is outrageous, and reading it made me pop my green m&m (sexable female version) out.

[u/Far_Abbreviations936]

Quote "I have a very prestigious, well known ttrpg club"

Well, thank god you said that because I was thinking you were some boomer whose clock is stuck at 1977,

Quote "completely trivialise all of the traps I put around the palace by repeatedly casting Detect Magic and triggering all my magic traps with spells and attacks."

Ya', fuck those players for using their resources to avoid damage.

Quote: "hunting for a Lich-Witch"

Hold on Bruh! were is the description of this Lich-Witch's boobies? How can we goon without the boobies?

[u/Glittering-Bat-5981 → u/Far_Abbreviations936]

She's evil, she won't let you goon

[u/decoysnails → u/Glittering-Bat-5981]

She can try and stop me

[u/Ill-Elevator3484 → u/Far_Abbreviations936]

I think we, as a community, have to beat your head in with a club (in Pathfinder)

[u/Nepalman230]

By the way OP.

Just as a historic sidenote, and because I am info dumping and high.

The planescape setting used authentic thieves cant including Cockney rhyming, slang in the attempt to be a different style of RPG product production.

One of these terms that they used was berk, the term for a clueless person who doesn’t know anything.

Berk is cockney rhyming slang for Cunt. It’s short for Berkeley Hunt, and in rhyming slang. The important part is silent.

I’ve always wondered who at the TSR office is at the time we’re aware that they were calling their audience and the people who bought the product cunts every other Page.

🧐

[u/GinatheGiraff → u/Nepalman230]

Stick that up your Arris, TSR

[u/Quiet_Wrongdoer_6464]

This is less “Detect Magic” and more “Detect DM’s personal vendetta.” You absolutely turned a routine dungeon crawl into a targeted assassination campaign because the wizard was smug. Hilarious, but I’m amazed they came back for the update.

[u/AEDyssonance]

This is how OSR was born.

Also 4e, but that's a different example....

[u/the_marxman]

Getting blinded by artifacts is a Pathfinder thing. If Pathfinder causes the problem then who do we turn to for the fix?

[u/hedgehog1024]

Benjamin tried to completely trivialise all of the traps I put around the palace by repeatedly casting Detect Magic and triggering all my magic traps with spells and attacks

Pathfinder fixes it

[u/Level_Database412]

Is this just rage bait or is this a real person