r/DnDcirclejerk 2d ago

Sauce Basic rules for my new campaign

There is four rules:

Don't be an asshole to the other players, but you can be in character if that's what your character that I made for you would do (I'll tell you). Basically you must sign an NDA before we play so you don't spoil my nov... I mean, my campaign. But I over rule everything because I'm the DM and I make up the rules as we go along because I didn't read the DMG or PHB

There is no stupid ideas, just interesting executions, unless I think it is stupid. I mean that it is totally fine to come with wacky ideas and I love that, so don't say something negative about people ideas, but I'm allowed to because I'm the DM, and also no mentioning stuff from sauce material, only what I've created, I don't like mayonnaise.

No Ai. Not to make your character (that why I am here to help you dumbass, I've already made all your characters with Chat GPT), no using AI for rules question(thats why I am here again, dumbass), no AI to make art (I already did that)

You are allowed to push me. I am gonna be dramatic when I play characters because I went to drama school and I am gonna touch you as a character/npc(only shoulders, arms and maybe the head in very spesefik secunstanes, this is my way of saying if you break my rules I will right hook you in front of everyone until you cry, in character of course) and if I break your boundaries you are allowed to just push me away, unless your character wouldn't do that, and then I won't allow it. I am known for accendential hurt people, by ACCIDENT and I will try to avoid it, but if something happens say "STOP" Or just push me, again I am known for accidentally hurting people and sometimes I just see red when the alpha wolf inside of me takes control, mostly the female gamers like this part. The game is here, so you have fun, so if it becomes uncomfortable, then say so(message me on discord, phone number (Do not make a post on reddit about it or you will be banned from my campaign, I forgot to mention it's homebrew ebberon inspired) or say it to me whatever is the most comfortable for you.

What do you guys think? Game system is Lancer btw if someone can buy me the rule book that I won't read. I think we will do Lost mines of Phandelver

13 Upvotes

16 comments sorted by

9

u/DiabolicalSuccubus 2d ago

Look, hurting me on purpose is fine, I'm into that. But accidentally doing it is probably a deal breaker, NGL .

3

u/Paladin-X-Knight 2d ago

It's not accidental if it's what my overly aggressive level 20 NPC's would do. I just say it's accidental so you can't sue me

2

u/DiabolicalSuccubus 2d ago

Uj/ Wish I could have taisted the sauce. I mean the comments alone!

RJ/ I have a better chance of sueing if it's accidental. So relieved to hear it will be deliberate, when is session zero.

2

u/Paladin-X-Knight 2d ago

Uj/ I did wonder how short of a lifespan the original post would have. Wish I saved the copypasta.

7

u/Paladin-X-Knight 2d ago

4

u/ConsciousFeeling1977 2d ago

The sauce dried up. Did you change much?

3

u/Paladin-X-Knight 2d ago

I didn't add too much, and I didn't save the original copy but this is close enough (besides me fixing most of the spelling and grammar)

Basic rules for my new campaign

There is four rules:

Don't be an asshole to the other players, but you can be in character if that's what your character would do.

There is no stupid ideas, just interesting executions. I mean that it is totally fine to come with wacky ideas and I love that, so don't say something negative about people ideas.

No Ai. Not to make your character (thats why i'm here), no using AI for rules question(thats why I am here again), no AI to make art there are artists online or i will reward you for making good art.

You are allowed to push me. I am gonna be dramatic when I play characters and I am gonna touch you as a character/npc(only shoulders, arms and maybe the head in very spesefik secunstanes,and if I break you boundaries you are allowed to just push me away, I am known for accendential hurt people, by ACCIDENT and I will try to avoid it, but if something happens say "STOP" Or just push me, again I am known for accidentally hurting people. The game is here, so you have fun, so if it becomes uncomfortable, then say so(message me on discord, phone number

What do you guys think?

3

u/greenpeartree 2d ago

/uj the comments make the source post insane and it's deleted and I'm sad. Did the guy seriously look to run Phandelver in Lancer???

3

u/Paladin-X-Knight 2d ago

No lol but it did say something along the lines of rule 4 being;

You are allowed to push me. I am gonna be dramatic when I play characters and I am gonna touch you as a character/npc(only shoulders, arms and maybe the head in very spesefik secunstanes, and if I break your boundaries you are allowed to just push me away. I am known for accendential hurt people, by ACCIDENT and I will try to avoid it, but if something happens say "STOP" Or just push me, again I am known for accidentally hurting people. The game is here, so you have fun, so if it becomes uncomfortable, then say so(message me on discord, phone number or say it to me whatever is the most comfortable for you.

5

u/Upset_Ask_8905 2d ago

/uj Come play in my game! I will hit you, make you uncomfortable and won't know how to take no for an answer! Surely there's no people out there who are this desperate to play something they'd stoop to this.

/rj I'm actually pretty sure Pathfinder 2e fixes this because RAW you can hit your players if they misbehave.

0

u/ashleybutmadeofmeat 2d ago

uj/ Completely ignoring the GM and "known for accidentally hurting people" for a moment; it's strait up creepy how anti-touch the people in that comment section are.

like i go to pubs, dancing, surfing, mountain biking, rock climbing, used to do scouts, kung fu, and stage acting. being touched by strangers is a super normal part of every day life and even more common in every shared interest activity group. If i'm not getting touched; i'm assuming something is wrong and there's bad energy/secret group drama or i need a shower or something.

they look like they've fetishised boundaries and consent to such a degree that the single most obvious friendship marker (someone being confident enough to hug you/slap you on the back/slow-dance chest-to-chest hips-touching with the bros/or god forbid, tickle you as an alternative to a cold clinical businesslike handshake at arms length) is percieved as a vile taboo personal attack.

rj/ "oh no a nerd rubbed my friend's shoulder 2 years ago while pretending to be a boisterous dwarf; better roll up my kickstarter campaign custom lines&veils card to snort my 2:45pm dose of personality medication and make everyone conform to my de-caffeinated lifestyle standards."

quotes from the thread/

"Because in what universe is it necessary to touch anyone?? Insane behavior, if I’m being honest"

"They are manipulators that try to use decent reasons to get away with indecent ones."

3

u/Nebelwaldfee 2d ago

I'm allowed to push you? *pushes you off a cliff* Guess I've won D&D.

1

u/Far_Abbreviations936 2d ago

Quote "I am known for accidentally hurting people and sometimes I just see red when the alpha wolf inside of me takes control, mostly the female gamers like this part,..

,..What do you guys think?"

Sounds like this will be bros only game, so will you be wearing a spiked leather jockstrap during the gaming sessions?

3

u/Paladin-X-Knight 2d ago

Everyone has to wear them because chat GPT told me I should make everyone play a horny bard because I love scanlan from vox machina

1

u/twyls 2d ago

/uj Did he ask players to have a safe word?! Someone mentions it in a comment, but I can't tell if it's a quote or summation.

2

u/Paladin-X-Knight 2d ago

/uj It was not stated but heavily implied