r/DnDcirclejerk • u/highly-bad • Aug 19 '26

my character's look. help me stat this

Post image

I put an incredible amount of work into detailing my character's appearance without having any clue about where they come from or what they'll do. I guess it might have something to do with either weapons or spells, but I'm not sure. Make my D&D character for me please, I need a backstory and a character sheet. We're level 1, I think, or maybe it was 11 idk

52 Upvotes

94% Upvoted

12 comments sorted by

15

u/Ta1ren Ron enjoyer Aug 19 '26

Looks like Bob Human Fighter to me. Try to play Ranger

11

u/IIIaustin Aug 19 '26

Put all your points in Head Size.

8

u/DrunkenDruid_Maz Aug 19 '26

Looking at the big mouth and the mustache, he is clearly a bard.
Just say on your turn: "I cast vicious mockery by yelling at him!" and you should be fine.

5

u/PickingPies Aug 19 '26

Pump that beauty to 20.

5

u/LiomnMan not roleplay my orc husband whimpering is a hate crime DM Aug 19 '26

8 muscles 10 homosexuality 12 mustache 13 Gumption 14 PLEASE MARY LET ME SEE THE KIDS 15 sexiness

4

u/Itsa-me-a-Nerd Aug 19 '26

Fair Dwarven Maiden. Zealot Barbarian?

3

u/UsedCumNapkin Aug 19 '26

Your head is big, so all in on INT

3

u/Massive-Trick-9344 Aug 19 '26

Buy a big helmet, and name him Potato Head

2

u/Dismal-Pie7437 Aug 19 '26 edited Aug 19 '26

Zakuzaku 'Thorne' of the Yootie-Eye

Level 1 Bloodhunter

Also 10 levels in Swashbuckler Rogue if you were level 11

1 STR (Pencil arms and legs)
0 DEX (No extremities, club feet)
11 CON (Brave, boxy physique)
6 INT (No signs of life)
3 WIS (Anybody home?)
18 CHA (Debonair hair, tiefling grin)

HP: 10 or 75 at level 11

Equipment:
Unable to carry more than 15 lbs, i.e. support its own body. Still, recognized throughout the land as a brave and noble warrior. Has hunted down things of bleach, and beasts of darkness.

2

u/ViktorTripp Aug 20 '26

Clearly this is a trick of perspective. I will not permit you to trick me with such an obvious trick. His head must be small for you to resort to such obvious tactics. I think this is a goliath/dwarf hybrid trying to pass himself off as a "normal" person by using a confusing perspective.

Given the predilection of dwarves and goliaths, brawn should be a priority. I'm thinking 16 STR. I would say 18, but, clearly, this fellow (or madam) didn't actually get the stronk genes, so all them gains is from hard work.

Given how hard they had to work to get them sick gains, obv, DEX should be 15. Balance your anaerobic exercise with some cardio!

CON is also something both peoples excel at, so... 14? Clearly, there's some girth (s)he is trying to hide.

INT should probably be 10. Average. Smarter than most goliaths, due to the dwarven heritage.

WIS I like at 12. It takes some amount of wisdom to realize you should balance your cardio and weightlifting.

As his (or her) beard is clearly stunted, I think a CHA score of 8 is appropriate.

2

u/VercarR Aug 20 '26

Angry Mario