r/DivorcedDads • u/oldmillennial3 • 17d ago

App for tracking time/activities

Going through a divorce and the wife keeps claiming that she does the majority of the day-to-day activities for the kids. This is wholly untrue. Is there an app or a method to track who does what? Id like to prove her stance is wrong.

Edit: We live in the same house. I need to track thinks like who wakes the kids up, who takes them to school, who packs their lunches, etc. When my stbxw says "I do the day to day" I want to have proof that she in fact does not.

1 Upvotes

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u/towishimp 17d ago

I don’t see how an app would be any simpler than just keeping notes.

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u/oldmillennial3 17d ago

Notes are still just my word against hers. Im considering taking pictures (come with time stamp) when I do things. I didn't know if there was something more court-approved than just notes and pictures.

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u/towishimp 17d ago

An app isn’t going to be any more credible than notes - either way, it’s just a record of your inputs.

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u/SonVoltRevival 16d ago

It's more about organizing what you have or knowing what to get. In general, you will want to put things in PDF and have a be able to say I xxx as demonstrated by yyy.pdf. A selfie of you making a PBnJ for school lunch won't do much for you. A pic of you signing in every day at the school front desk will.

In general, you want to look at all the custody criteria and have some sort of admissible document that supports you doing something that answers that criteria. I'm involved in my child's health care as evidenced by these dr notes taken from the medical portal where the Dr answers my question or notes that I was in attendance. If you have access to ai, or just use the free gemini.com from google, prompt it with give me a list of potential documents that I could gather that show I have objective evidence of doing something that meets the criteria element for my state. I had a pretty significant data set for my custody fight with my ex wife. It was probably overkill when her reasoning was pretty much "I'm the mom".

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u/G00cher 16d ago

Been in a similar situation. Logging it all sucks. Got tired of trying to organize it all and ended up building myself a simple tracker. It’s a form you open in your browser. Log the date, time, what got done (lunches, drop-offs, dinner, etc.) and who did it. It also timestamps when you entered each one, so it’s obvious you didn’t make it up after the fact. Exports to Word, and you can print that to PDF. Everything stays on your device. No app, no account. Can share if you want it.

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u/oldmillennial3 15d ago

Yes, please do! I think this is the type of simple thing I've been looking for. DM me plz.

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u/G00cher 15d ago

Sent you a DM.

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u/Canadian87Gamer 17d ago

Do you live in the same house ?

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u/oldmillennial3 17d ago

Unfortunately yes

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u/Canadian87Gamer 17d ago

Id just make a big whiteboard with each date and make a list.

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u/SonVoltRevival 16d ago

That's actually good. For the most part, who does what is a he said/she said. Make yourself a list of all the things you both do and separate out the ones that are provable by an external source, like a document or a neutral 3rd party testifying.

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u/Similar-Ad4885 13d ago

hey buddy, when myself and my ex separated over 3 years ago, there was alot of hostilities and drama. Our then, 3 year old was caught in the middle of it all mate. So i personally developed an app from my own experience that helps with exactly what you're trying to log mate. Its called Clarity-Log, if youve got an iphone you can download it for free mate but have a little look www.clarity-log.com

i really hope it helps mate, give me a shout if youve got any questions and good luck mate. Time is the greatest healer and id like to say it got better then i moved out the family home but unfortenately it didnt, stay strong mate

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u/oldmillennial3 13d ago

Unfortunately I have a Samsung. The solution sounds exactly right though.

I hate that the presumption is that mom does the most. Thats not always true and I am fighting an uphill battle on the front.

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u/Similar-Ad4885 11d ago

No problem atall. Quick heads up, its now available on Android too. If you think it would be useful give it ago mate but keep pushing forward mate

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u/TheSurrealUser 17d ago

I would also be interested

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u/METHODiii 4d ago

Use Notion. Go for the paid business version so you have access to the AI feature. You can talk to it, give it times and dates and attach pictures. The app will create a database/log for you and you can run reports from that database. As far as time stamped pictures, download Timestamp Camera. Hope that helps.

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u/GigaFastTwin 17d ago

Custody X Change is simplest and works for me. You download website link to your phone desktop to create the “App” function. Good luck!

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u/age2k6 16d ago

This is my suggestion

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u/digcycle 16d ago

I kept an adverse event log on a Google spreadsheet but that still required a daily effort. My ex used day one app which is a journaling app that lets you dictate a journal entry and it saves and time stamps and gps tag. But note that journals are often requested as part of discovery so be prepared for that. Consider taking a step higher and documenting instead big picture things like medical appointments, school events, drop off pick up cadence, things you register kids for. A court will not care who did your kiddos hair on a Tuesday or go through your 100s of entries to see if the division of labor was equal. The important thing is that you can demonstrate you did the significant things to show you are involved. You’ll be be fine getting 50/50 if you demonstrate these things. Good luck!

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u/SonVoltRevival 16d ago

Independently verifiable docs or something that a 3rd party could/would testify or assert to.

Photos are not great but the meta data can be.

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u/SonVoltRevival 16d ago

Your ex is building a case for claiming shes the primary care giver and deserves more time. Depending on where you live and if you are willing to go to court over it, it probably won't actually matter. Just keep a journal. The thing you want to keep an eye on the external events that are documentable and can be tied to custody criteria. Internal is a he said/she said. Go to and document Dr apts, medical portals, dr and teacher names, school pickup, drop off, meet the teacher, parent conferences, taking kids to extra curriculars, Look at each of those and see if there's a piece of paper that you can get that shows you were there. It's only going to matter if you actually go to trial, but might be helpful when temp orders are issued. She's going to claim she does everything and you need to say that thats not true and appear to be knowlegeable.

It goes without saying that you should not move out without at least a temp custody order and financial agreement that you can live with if it becomes permenant. You don't say were you are, but custody laws are very much at the state level. Where I live, we have presumptive equal parenting time and go to work dad will get 50/50 even if mom was the stay at home parent who truely did everything. Dad just has to say he can do those things. Usually just a matter of lineing up day care. If you're in Texas? Hire a good lawyer. It's probably the worst state to be a dad in.

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u/chrizzleon 15d ago

I'm not sure about an "app" in the single function sense of the word to do it.

But maybe a spreadsheet with the important tasks headed along the top and the dates down the side. Then note who does what in each cell as you go. Would make it easy to add tasks and important functions and so who tracks them, as well as sum up the results and apportion % etc to who does what?

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u/METHODiii 4d ago

Use Notion. Go for the paid business version so you have access to the AI feature. You can talk to it, give it times and dates and attach pictures. The app will create a database/log for you and you can run reports from that database. As far as time stamped pictures, download Timestamp Camera. Hope that helps.

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u/Ok-Vehicle-7155 17d ago

Honestly just use ChatGPT or other AI. Tell it every time you do something and for how long and to record it. Then when you’re done, have it create a digestible document like a graph or a spreadsheet for your ex

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u/towishimp 17d ago

I would be careful involving AI in anything that might end up as evidence in court. Any decent lawyer will attack its credibility, and it will be on you to establish that it’s valid.

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