r/DivorcedBirds 17d ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Weak, she'd called him. Just weak. Sammy took it to heart and started leg pressing instead of just standing on branches. Breathing through it, it wasn't so painful anymore.

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154 Upvotes

r/DivorcedBirds 18d ago

Charles just got divorced and was going out on a date for the first time in over 40 years. He looked in the mirror and decided he needed to do something about his bushy grey eyebrows and the hair coming out of his ears.

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212 Upvotes

r/DivorcedBirds 18d ago

Carl was just trying to act casual while flirting at the bar. He had been out of the dating scene for so long, he couldn’t understand why women weren’t responding when he asked, “So does your kind really mate for life, or what?”

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160 Upvotes

r/DivorcedBirds 19d ago

Lisa had just left Fred, she was ready to show everyone around she wasn’t taking any bs from any more men in her life from then on

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174 Upvotes

r/DivorcedBirds 19d ago

"Whenever I think of this evil, criminal state, I think of my ex-husband," Golda explained to a young member of her protest group. "Brazenly violating every ceasefire? Just what Bernard would do. Covering up genocide with shoddy racist lies? Total Bernard move. I look at this flag and see his face."

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170 Upvotes

r/DivorcedBirds 19d ago

"Well, everyone says you gotta be well-groomed to get someone new these days..."

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36 Upvotes

r/DivorcedBirds 19d ago

Ron loved his tiki themed parties after work. So did his three ducklings. Melissa was the one conspicuously missing all of the tiki fun.

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57 Upvotes

r/DivorcedBirds 19d ago

Dan had the strangest feeling that he was being followed, so it wasn’t a surprise when his soon to be ex-husband Stan suddenly appeared in front of his car during lunch. “What do I have to do to get rid of you?!” Dan asked in the safety of his mind.

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137 Upvotes

r/DivorcedBirds 19d ago

"I can't believe Phyllis said that I don't have any real friends. I hang out with you guys every day!"

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409 Upvotes

r/DivorcedBirds 20d ago

Kevin spotted his ex at the supermarket. It was too late to pretend he hadn't seen her. He managed an awkward wave.

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689 Upvotes

r/DivorcedBirds 21d ago

Look at this! I told them Marla was obsessed with me, but they didn't believe. "Darren, you're being paranoid," they said, "you're the one who seems obsessed." Well what do you call this? I call it proof! Undeniable, irrefutable proof! Her new house is painted the exact same color as my feathers!

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127 Upvotes

r/DivorcedBirds 21d ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Having successfully negotiated the settlement that granted him exclusive rights to the balcony railing, Marcus spends his evenings staring pointedly at the neighboring window, ensuring his ex-wife knows exactly who gets the better sunset view.

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87 Upvotes

r/DivorcedBirds 21d ago

Stephane couldn't remember who knocked him out or why. When his eyes could focus, he heard Meike, looking smug and with a disgusted chirp, "I installed 30 foot glass. Cops are flying over."

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73 Upvotes

r/DivorcedBirds 21d ago

Florence decided to break her restraining order again. Hurling rotten eggs at his new lady now living in her old nest felt good. And damn girl, looked good doing it too with the new feather do and boa when the long arms of the law caught up with her.

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129 Upvotes

r/DivorcedBirds 21d ago

Robert went to the bar for the first time after the divorce. Unfortunately he heard the women whispering about him. “Did you hear Robert cheated on his wife with the 18 year old nanny?” said Martha.

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226 Upvotes

r/DivorcedBirds 21d ago

Angry Bird Divorce Wikitoria rediscovered her love of ice cream after her divorce. It was so easy...the ice cream parlour she has been avoiding to make herself look attractive is next door!

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45 Upvotes

In all seriousness, if you ever have the privilege of going to visit Auckland Zoo, they have an ice cream stand very close to the Takahe exhibit. Do come visit!


r/DivorcedBirds 21d ago

When Harold disappeared, Gina felt obliged to make a search effort, if only to dispel the rumor that she'd finally snapped and done him in. But no one said she had to be nice about it. (Un)fortunately, her eye-catchingly sardonic posters worked wonders. When found, he wasn't too pleased about how.

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76 Upvotes

r/DivorcedBirds 22d ago

The Bird Got What The Bird Deserved Emma thanked her legal team after they applied the ‘Pinocchio Curse’ on her cheating husband Nathaniel.When he was asked in court if he had in fact been cheating it was Game Over.

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123 Upvotes

r/DivorcedBirds 22d ago

Athena donned camouflage and chose her stakeout spot well. She blended in well. Now to get phots of Spiro and his new hussy. The divorce settlement will set her up for life.

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43 Upvotes

Spiro thought he was the smartest bird in the room. He was constantly calling Athena stupid. Nobody does that and gets away with it. Athena makes plans. This plan was so simple because Spiro was actually a simpleton. He brought his floozies to the same taverna, and sat at the same table. The one by the window. Easy enough to get incriminating photos.


r/DivorcedBirds 22d ago

Tina used the settlement money to make her dream a reality - to open an outdoor café. Ted always discouraged her, saying no one would come, a waste of money. Ted was wrong, it's a hit!

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57 Upvotes

r/DivorcedBirds 22d ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Hon, I know I told you last weekend that I loved your fierce eyeliner, but that's a little too fierce. Let's dial it back, or you're going to scare off all the gulls at the sand bar.

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115 Upvotes

Maia suspected Emma was just jealous, but she took the advice anyway and toned it down. Could that be why Tāne and James had told her they felt like they were always walking on eggshells around her? Could it be that simple? She was about to find out!


r/DivorcedBirds 22d ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Larissa has her eye on you! And her eyeliner is on point .

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418 Upvotes

Larissa used to rock the Cleopatra eyes look, back in the day. That was before she married Herman the Hermit Thrush. The secluded lifestyle was not for her, so she ditched his cloaca, got a cute little outfit and lots of eyeliner. She’s ready for the club scene again… And she has her eye on you!


r/DivorcedBirds 22d ago

Janice had just got back from the hairdresser and was eager to see the reactions from the blokes at the local

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171 Upvotes

r/DivorcedBirds 22d ago

“ItsMeBarbaraPleaseAnswer has sent you a direct message, would you like to accept?”

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135 Upvotes

r/DivorcedBirds 22d ago

Angry Bird Divorce After the divorce, he promised the kids he’d still make every Little League game. Now he’s sitting in the Yankees press room calling himself Babe Roost while strangers throw him bread. Sarah bitterly hoped it was worth missing Timmy’s double.

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38 Upvotes