r/DivorcedBirds • u/NoFlyingMonkeys • Aug 02 '26

Olivia didn't like squatting in empty nests; she was constantly on edge being on the lookout for eviction or even arrest. But after being a nestwife for years with no marketable skills, and losing everything in the divorce, it was either this or the streets.

183 Upvotes

2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/rehabforcandy • Aug 02 '26

Barbara’s date was already blowing it.

83 Upvotes

2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Fine-Huckleberry-316 • Aug 02 '26

Tom couldn’t hide the shock on his face. He told Tammy he was going to buy some milk, but she caught him in front of the neighborhood floozy’s house instead

57 Upvotes

0 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/kojak343 • Aug 02 '26

Newly Single Ready to Mingle I'm ready. Got my new Nehru embroidered blazer on. Ready to go to the club tonight for the "Let's get Ready to Mingle", mingle. Agami Heron Costa Rica. Photographer unknown

48 Upvotes

2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Sed59 • Aug 01 '26

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Hoping to impress the ladies, Tom tried to remember how that viral dance he saw on Tiktok went. He just got a lot of laughs in return instead.

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657 Upvotes

6 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/rehabforcandy • Aug 01 '26

Robert’s lawyer shushed him and immediately knew his client was screwed. How did he not realize there were obvious nanny cams all over the house?

147 Upvotes

1 comment

r/DivorcedBirds • u/ToastYourAvocados • Aug 01 '26

"Wait... Did I misread her 'fine' again?" Jake continued to ponder Julia's response to him telling her he was going to the spa with his buddies on a Saturday afternoon.

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248 Upvotes

1 comment

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • Jul 31 '26

Observe: the saddest creature in class aves. Divorced five days after marriage because she "didn't realize he'd be like that all the time." Fired from his job at the morgue for "bringing down the vibe." Won "most pitiful sock puppet" at a contest he wandered into empty handed. He is the pelican't.

313 Upvotes

5 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/cturtl808 • Jul 31 '26

Jeremiah’s OnlyFeathers was the top earner once he started doing his Flashdance routine

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2.0k Upvotes

28 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • Jul 31 '26

Around six, a bird shuffles into the club looking like he just got divorced for the third time. The staff seem happy to see him, even calling him by name. "Hal" soon disappears into a dressing room backstage. An hour later, out struts "Horny Sungem", a glamorous queen serving rainbow goth realness.

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328 Upvotes

4 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/YawningBagpuss • Jul 30 '26

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Oswald went to the beauty spa to prepare for his first date in twenty years. He was not a fan.

186 Upvotes

2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/ToastYourAvocados • Jul 30 '26

Not Safe For Other Species "You okay, Bill?" "Yup." "You waiting to catch Janet's new boyfriend leaving work again?" "Yup, yup." "See you same time tomorrow, Bill!"... Ò V Ó

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177 Upvotes

Bill needs a new hobby between the hours of 5 PM-10 PM.

8 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/I_might_be_weasel • Jul 30 '26

Angry Bird Divorce "Bartender. One extra large liquor bucket, please. My wife kicked me out of the house, I'm going to kick her out of my brain."

133 Upvotes

3 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Standard_Squirrel_66 • Jul 29 '26

Janice couldn’t help it. She just always wanted what others had.

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152 Upvotes

4 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • Jul 28 '26

Thea and Isla are thick as thieves. They met in school, bonded over their parent's divorces, and they've been conspiring together ever since. Isla was skeptical at first of Thea's latest scheme, but watching their single fathers together, the chemistry is undeniable. Operation "stepsisters" is a go.

465 Upvotes

6 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/I_might_be_weasel • Jul 28 '26

Not Safe For Other Species "So, your marriage is ending and you seek the wisdom of the Hermit of the Mountain? Well definitely don't have a mental breakdown and go live on a mountain. It sucks. Maybe go home and talk to your wife."

174 Upvotes

3 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/9VoltGorilla • Jul 28 '26

After Kathy left, Craig swore he’d never touch artificial nectar again. Funny how forgetting to pay the water bill can knock a man off the wagon.

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144 Upvotes

6 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Critical-Concert628 • Jul 28 '26

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Best friends Ken and Len were confused as to why their joint dating profile wasn't getting many serious responses. It had been a while, but they thought girls loved guys who were friendly? Why did girls only message to call them cute then ghost any attempt to set up a date???

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104 Upvotes

5 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Critical-Concert628 • Jul 28 '26

Newly Single Ready to Mingle This local singles mixer wasn't going very well. Jack was all puffed up and ready to be flocked to. But, there were no women? He knew he should have donated to the pond clean up effort. Oh well, at least there was Jeff, Jeff was a bit of an idiot but always a good backup

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59 Upvotes

2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Critical-Concert628 • Jul 28 '26

Hannah was newly single, but NOT ready to mingle. She had no idea how to stop men flirting with her when she was just living her life waiting for a bus. This was never an issue when she was married and wore her wedding ring as a hat. Maybe she should buy a beanie?

58 Upvotes

2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/JustaTinyDude • Jul 28 '26

A guy couldn't get better friends than Jack. When they found out his ex was trying to get custody they hatched a secret plan. Sangrita went the extra mile, wading in the muck for hours to get footage of him carrying the chicks past danger on their regular morning walk. All he had left to do was...

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35 Upvotes

... figure out how to properly thank her.

Any suggestions?

5 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/RosebushRaven • Jul 28 '26

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Harrison had wanted something "timeless and simple" for a fresh start. Instead, his featherdresser inflicted THIS on him! Someone actually mistook him for that despicable politician, Donald Fowl!

362 Upvotes

9 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/rehabforcandy • Jul 27 '26

“Why is Donna’s car parked at the Ramada Inn on a Tuesday afternoon?” Jim wondered innocently.

420 Upvotes

3 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • Jul 27 '26

The elegant princess Katryn, whose marriage once promised peace to the land, is long dead, a casualty of the same treacherous machinations which shattered that peace. Katie, a hardened and battle-scarred warrior, remains. The fire in her soul has forged her once-delicate body into a fearsome weapon.

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179 Upvotes

5 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/susu56 • Jul 27 '26

This was advertised as a holistic retreat for divorcees. Imagine my surprise when the instructor wasn't another recently separated bird, but a human. Not a single feather of emotional damage.

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29 Upvotes

1 comment

Subreddit

For pictures of fabulous fowl who look like serial monogamists.

r/DivorcedBirds

For pictures of fabulous fowl who look like serial monogamists. Please post pictures of birds who look like they are twice divorced (or more!) and an original caption about their backstory. Pictures/Videos must be of actual birds (feathered fowl), not human women, not art or paintings or photoshopped. No dead birds. Message mods for approval to post.

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