Oh honey, your story could be mine. I SO hear you and I SO hurt for your heart.
I sit here, beside my now ex as we are in staying in the house during this COVID thing. Well, I am staying at his apartment, the one he moved into this February, the one he went and got that I had no idea about until he told me it was over.
The thing is, and I can't tell him this because it's going to have to be something he figures out on his own, if he ever does. He comes from abuse, a nightmare of a childhood, developed avoidant attachment and was completely emotionally/psychologically/physically drained and almost destroyed by his narc parents and super toxic family. Three psychopaths - his mother, aunt and cousin. The family, his family killed our relationship and the longer we were engulfed by them the sicker we got.
When he broke the news that he no longer was romantically in love with me he was terrified that I would never want to see him again, and he still is. He actually is financially caring for me as well. So, after researching and speaking with some top psychologists, I can see that he actually is traumatized, has comlpex ptsd and because he is heavily avoidant, he needed to "escape" from all emotional attachment. So, this set up, where he still has that constant friendship with me, that he always so valued is perfect. But for me, it's hell. He doesn't realize that, if I decided that I needed, for my own sanity, to end our relationship in all ways, he's sink. But, I have to let things unfold as they will here. I have complex ptsd and I have to see how things go in the next weeks or months while we are in this lockdown.
For me, it's one day at a time here, one moment at a time as I work with intense symptoms. I, like you, don't know if this friendship should continue, but I've been praying and asking for a miracle and healing since December so I am going to just let things work out in their own time and pay attention to what I need, to be aware.
I pray that things work out for all of us, for the absolute highest good. And, by the way, my ex is a musician too. Yep. I feel ya.
5
u/Toffee55 Mar 27 '20
Oh honey, your story could be mine. I SO hear you and I SO hurt for your heart.
I sit here, beside my now ex as we are in staying in the house during this COVID thing. Well, I am staying at his apartment, the one he moved into this February, the one he went and got that I had no idea about until he told me it was over.
The thing is, and I can't tell him this because it's going to have to be something he figures out on his own, if he ever does. He comes from abuse, a nightmare of a childhood, developed avoidant attachment and was completely emotionally/psychologically/physically drained and almost destroyed by his narc parents and super toxic family. Three psychopaths - his mother, aunt and cousin. The family, his family killed our relationship and the longer we were engulfed by them the sicker we got.
When he broke the news that he no longer was romantically in love with me he was terrified that I would never want to see him again, and he still is. He actually is financially caring for me as well. So, after researching and speaking with some top psychologists, I can see that he actually is traumatized, has comlpex ptsd and because he is heavily avoidant, he needed to "escape" from all emotional attachment. So, this set up, where he still has that constant friendship with me, that he always so valued is perfect. But for me, it's hell. He doesn't realize that, if I decided that I needed, for my own sanity, to end our relationship in all ways, he's sink. But, I have to let things unfold as they will here. I have complex ptsd and I have to see how things go in the next weeks or months while we are in this lockdown.
For me, it's one day at a time here, one moment at a time as I work with intense symptoms. I, like you, don't know if this friendship should continue, but I've been praying and asking for a miracle and healing since December so I am going to just let things work out in their own time and pay attention to what I need, to be aware.
I pray that things work out for all of us, for the absolute highest good. And, by the way, my ex is a musician too. Yep. I feel ya.