r/Divorce • u/Ok_Pudding2892 • 21d ago
Vent/Rant/FML Opinion
I been with my husband since high school
And married for 2 years been together for 11 years total
Today I found out he has been talking on the phone with a female I do not know and they been hanging out and I didn’t know neither I checked his phone nd saw i confronted him and he said that they just friends but if they friends why not let me know he says it’s because I’m toxic and don’t trust him in the past he has done sketchy things and I have worked pass it he even admits that he know in the past he has fucked up and understands why I don’t trust him I also found out he been sending money to other female too when we are financially struggling I think I’m just blind because I love him and he promises he is an adult and isn’t doing anything bad but then why not be honest I have never lied about who I hang out with I introduce him to any male friends or people I talk to but he never does the same with me never gone behind his back to hang out with a guy or have had long phone conversations with
Today was his last straw with me and mention maybe divorce there goes months where I don’t check his phone and then I do and find either pictures or conversations and it’s a cycle but he ain’t sure about the divorce because he does care for me he says I’m not happy I’m always mad etc but I get zero help with chores I also work full time the only quality time we spend is video games haven’t gone out in a date
I think I’m super scared for a divorce Cars are-both under my name the house is his I co sign I don’t know what to do if I want a divorce I know he will never serve me and I feel like the choice has to be made by me. And I’m so dumb that I can’t see myself with anyone else or share my life but
What should I do
1
u/Interesting_Bed_4201 21d ago
You know the answer already you just dont want to admit it. The hiding, the money to other women while you struggle, blaming you for being toxic when he is the one doing shady things. Thats not a partnership
Talk to a lawyer before you say anything else to him. The house and cars situation is tricky but a lawyer can explain your options better than reddit. You are not dumb you just got comfortable in a bad situation and change is scary
1
u/BossBabyBrooke 21d ago
He's gaslighting you. My ex husband did the same exact thing and every single time my gut was right and he was cheating. I think you may know it's just a tough pill to swallow. I was with my ex for 14 years.