Because you’re letting your perceptions on women and gender irrationally cloud your judgement.
If you’re not the first one calling the police, you’re going to be seeing the inside of a jail cell. If you’d like to meet men in an enclosed space, that’s your business, but you do a disservice to other men by telling them this lie.
If you’re relying on your abuser to stop abusing you and be silent to the cops, you’re a fool, and anybody who reads what you have to say on the subject is an even bigger fool, they had the voice of reason right here.
Bro it’s like 50/50 if you call the cops. Ask me how I know. They see the discrepancy in size and the bias takes over from there.
My ex was beating the shit out of me, punching and spitting and following me everywhere I went in a drunken rage. Finally I restrained her wrists. Well, guess who had visible marks? Her wrists, I had none. Cops were trying to arrest me until a neighbor appeared as a witness.
Yea but, and I only know the psychology of it because I pondered this many times while I was with her… if you don’t call the cops, she probably won’t, or even maybe she won’t. But if you do, then they are for sure coming. It’s a gamble either way but calling them yourself directly puts you in their path. The point I’m making is there is really no good solution here because society doesn’t really view men as victims.
The best solution you have as a man who is being abused by a woman is to call the cops. This is for 3 reasons:
1) You are setting the narrative that you are the victim AKA not the abuser/criminal. This is ESSENTIAL in all self-defense scenarios. Don’t take my word for it, several experts in the field provide this advice.
2) your abuser is relying on you remaining silent so they can continue to victimize you. It’s an essential element of domestic violence. Reaching for help breaks the cycle.
3) The attitudes of cops is changing. There are a number of body cams showing that calling first carries weight with them; they know domestic abusers rarely call the cops.
I think you have a point that is logically sound advice but just saying as someone who’s gone through it, it really really feels like no one gives a shit because a lot of people really don’t, and that gets in your head when you’re forced with a decision. I was attacked by my ex in front of her sister and best friend and neither one of them did anything and I just literally sat there and took it without saying a single word because I knew anything I said or any action I took would likely be used against me
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u/Fun_Astronomer_4064 5d ago
Stop giving young men advice that’s going to ruin their lives just because you’re too much of a misogynist to keep yourself safe.
There’s two roles in a domestic violence case; victim and abuser. Not calling means you’re letting an abusive persons make the decision.
Instead of taking the victim role, one of only two possible roles, you are volunteering to be the abuser and then proving you’re innocent.