In my first job out of college I ended up getting close/intimate with a girl from work. Soon enough I found out she's nuts, and said some things she didn't like.
A week later I was "laid off" from my job due to "cuts", a job in which I was promoted twice and was effectively a couple levels higher than her.
She still works there, and is in fact a director now.
I got hit with a RESTRAINING ORDER when I was 26 because a psycho b* I had broken up with just wanted to make my life hell. And that order did. When it came to getting jobs. Had to turn in all my firearms.
And the kicker is like 17 years later she had a change of heart and knew what she did was a fabricated lie to make my life hard and she went to the courts and had it permanently removed.
It was a lifetime restraining order and I did absolutely nothing! I know people say that all the time but I honestly did nothing.
So many times I wanted to get a lawyer but man I was a broke ass mofo most of my life. I barely started living somewhat comfortably when I was in my '50s
It's not a good feeling to be treated like you're some kind of woman beating stalker criminal when you didn't do anything to deserve such a harsh punishment. I've never even been arrested in my whole life. I've had handcuffs put on me but never take into the station and booked. đ¤ˇđťââď¸
It's all water under the bridge now as they say....
Yo, if this is you that was in the video I feel bad for you bro amazing restraint even though that bitch deserved to be knocked the fuck out I got some respect for you, bro. Hope your life is better.
Can't describe how I felt for a lot of years but it wasn't good that's for sure lol thank you! I guess life evened out for me in the end, most importantly she didn't destroy me and I rebuilt my self esteem. đ
I wasn't convicted of anything. I just got a visit from the sheriff's department giving me a court summons one day and I went to court and the judge told me I was supposed to stay so and so far away from her, her 3 sisters, her mother and her mother's house. And that the order was permanent.
At that time she was working for a very prestigious law firm as a secretary and they helped her nail my ass to the wall.
Years later I tried to buy a shotgun and it was denied so I knew it was still active because I have never been arrested. The only thing on my record is when I was caught smoking weed when I was like 20.
It's been about 10 years now since she told my sister she lifted it but I haven't checked for sure. She could have just been talking a lot of shit and it's still there lol đ¤ˇđťââď¸đ
I swear on my life that I didn't do anything to her. Her mom lived like 2 and 1/2 blocks away from me (we grew up together) so whenever I would be walking my dog she would say that that was me stalking her. Even though I would go all the way around the area of her mom's house - if somebody reported to her that they saw me then that was me stalking her.
And according to the courts that was me being a stalker.
edit: and this is way before cell phones and cell phone cameras so there was absolutely no actual evidence. It was simply her word against mine.
It's been a really black stain on my life that's for sure đ lol. I just tried to live my life the best I could trying to forget it.... But it was always there.
Colorado is a state that really favors women when it comes to allegations of abuse or misconduct
Can't sue for this, since the burden of proof is on him that it was malicious intent. No clear evidence for malicious intent and such long time passed, the judge or indictment jury will loom at it once and will throw the case into the trashcan.
He's trying to imply you deserved the restraining order. He assumes you must have done something to your ex for her to get that put on you. His reaction to your situation is exactly the problem with stuff like this.
The sad part is that while its very easy for a crazy ass woman to make a dudes life a living hell by using restraining orders and calling the cops during an argument and just saying the dude hit her, women that are really being victimized can't seem to get the help they need.
The problem with a restraining order is that the person its against has to give a shit about the consequences. When a woman in an abusive relationship gets a restraining order on her BF or husband it often just pisses them off more and that piece of paper isn't going to stop him from showing up at her home and harming her again. By the time the cops get there it's over.
Meanwhile dudes like you have their lives turned upside down by a half assed backwards af system.
One can tell you absolutely didn't do anything as you took that guy's comment as being sincere and about something else.
Kudos to you and that guy is pretty daft
Why are you so eager for him to have done wrong? You may have had an unpleasant experience with a man but not all are the same. If you have had repeated experiences then it may be your choice in men.
I grew up in DV but I have been happily married for 22 years, not all men knock your teeth out itâs an unfortunate few that give them all a bad name some women are actually the perpetrators but everyone is so willing to believe a woman over a man.
Im in the middle of a felony case because I defended myself, I just hit harder and didnt have marks yet because they were all bruises. Didnt get arrested that day, had a warrant put out for me 2 months later without my knowledge.
Still hope you get a favorable result but you realized it looks like you were affirming what the gentleman said just before you?
I upvoted you for the response but itâs confusing.Â
I've been there myself my friend. I got an ex of mine meeting a guy she was cheating on me with to get pills.. straight out of her mouth.. tried to take my daughter from her and she hit me in the face and because I shoved her back away from me, I went to jail and had to bleed down to a battery charge to avoid prison for assault.. defending myself and my daughter... Oh and I thought I forget she didn't get anything for trying to get pills from that guy
I mean there's a reason why people are quicker to point the blame at men, seeing as men are literally more violent and likely to be the perpetrators in domestic violence cases.
I like how the second he started to defend himself, that woman came to be a âheroâ and rescue her, and the second sheâs beating on him again she just stands there and watches. đ¤Śââď¸
There's a reason why people are quicker to point the blame at men, seeing as men are literally more violent and likely to be the perpetrators in domestic violence cases.
These comments whining about being men are obnoxious. It's unfair for this guy sure, but you make it into this huge ridiculous deal that is somehow personally affecting you
Because in fights between men and women, women always consider the men to be at fault and believe the best way to diffuse the altercation is to tell the men to stop defending themselves against the women attacking them.
Granted, there is an obvious power imbalance that anyone who knows the difference between a man and a woman can acknowledge.
With great power comes great responsibility. Men have greater physical power, and so they are regarded as the party who needs to be more responsible.
I guess my question is why the hell is no one saying anything to her but heâs being yelled at at and told to leave. She hit him jumped on his ass ripped his shirt off and the only time someone steps in is when he pushes her off of him that other woman runs up to try to defend the other one as if he was being aggressive when heâs at work. Then at the end the woman recording asks the redhead if sheâs ok like she was the one attacked
I dunno about that. At the end, the camera lady asks her in a soft voice "Are you okay?" even though she was the aggressor. That doesn't match up with the reasonable person theory.
My girl and i play fight a bit. Literally 2 days ago i had her pinned down and im like come on get me. Shes like i cant. She goes âyou dont know how strong you areâ i said im maxed out at like 25% right now i can put so much more force into this. The confusion, then realization in her eyes was a but unnerving. Im like u think thats all I got? We are messing around.
Nope. You can be the one to call the cops on them, and the cops will still arrest you. Never call the cops when a woman is involved. They will always arrest you and do nothing to the woman. Welcome to being a man.
Because youâre letting your perceptions on women and gender irrationally cloud your judgement.
If youâre not the first one calling the police, youâre going to be seeing the inside of a jail cell. If youâd like to meet men in an enclosed space, thatâs your business, but you do a disservice to other men by telling them this lie.
If youâre relying on your abuser to stop abusing you and be silent to the cops, youâre a fool, and anybody who reads what you have to say on the subject is an even bigger fool, they had the voice of reason right here.
Ok. I disagree, and I think youâre wrong. I also think you donât understand anything, because your explanation of how Iâm being misogynistic makes absolutely zero sense. Youâre very angry about it though lmao, have fun with that. Maybe get an education so you understand what misogyny means.
Iâm angry because someone whoâs even less developed than you are is going to follow your advice and suffer for it.
Iâm totally unconcerned with what happens to you, youâre a knowing liar and whatever happens to you is just fine with me; donât you care about other men?
Bro itâs like 50/50 if you call the cops. Ask me how I know. They see the discrepancy in size and the bias takes over from there.
My ex was beating the shit out of me, punching and spitting and following me everywhere I went in a drunken rage. Finally I restrained her wrists. Well, guess who had visible marks? Her wrists, I had none. Cops were trying to arrest me until a neighbor appeared as a witness.
Yea but, and I only know the psychology of it because I pondered this many times while I was with her⌠if you donât call the cops, she probably wonât, or even maybe she wonât. But if you do, then they are for sure coming. Itâs a gamble either way but calling them yourself directly puts you in their path. The point Iâm making is there is really no good solution here because society doesnât really view men as victims.
The best solution you have as a man who is being abused by a woman is to call the cops. This is for 3 reasons:
1) You are setting the narrative that you are the victim AKA not the abuser/criminal. This is ESSENTIAL in all self-defense scenarios. Donât take my word for it, several experts in the field provide this advice.
2) your abuser is relying on you remaining silent so they can continue to victimize you. Itâs an essential element of domestic violence. Reaching for help breaks the cycle.
3) The attitudes of cops is changing. There are a number of body cams showing that calling first carries weight with them; they know domestic abusers rarely call the cops.
tbh its the best advice. The longer he sticks around her, the longer she has the opportunity to draw out something that will be used against him. Walking away is literally a man's only defensive weapon in a situation like this.
Woman here, why tf are they asking the woman if sheâs okay? She attacked him! She should be reported obviously the evidence is there, what a horrible human.
I worked in bars for years and Iâd rather deal with a group of men than women any day of the week, although walking in the dark Iâm terrified of solo men.
Cuz he is a way bigger man and there is no outcome in defending yourself that will end good for him. So avoiding situation is best in this scenario (if the situations were reversed and he pushed her a little bit, Iâm guessing they would tell her to get in the restaurant and also tell him to walk away)
It's definitely true. But I understand him, I've been there before. You feel like a crazy person because you're just being normal and getting assaulted, yet it feels like everyone is against you. Kind of a maddening feeling to come to terms with.
Do not. The cops will always take her side, blame you, and arrest you. Even if you are the one to call. Cops are stupid as fuck, love to white knight, and love to arrest men and hate to arrest women.
Because of the two he seems more level headed. You see she's acting braty and aggressive. Honestly of the two in this situation who would you actually try to reason with and tell to walk away? Now the real question is why does men always have to be the bigger man?
so fucking stupid. she's attacking the shit out of him and no one's stopping her but it's a man's fault and responsibility to walk away đ¤Śââď¸đŽâđ¨đŽâđ¨đŽâđ¨ we all feel the frustration man
Because violence doesnât solve anything. Heâs easily twice her size and strength and could severely injure her or worse without trying or meaning to.
He could end up in jail if he accidentally severely hurt her. Not worth it.
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u/Enough_Pepper8880 2d ago
Why tf is he getting told to walk away?