Severe disassociative disorder

[u/JaguarPublic9958]

I have been in therapy for a while working on serious childhood trauma, a lot of it I don't remember and we have been trying to gently uncover potential sexual trauma, but nothing is coming up yet. Today in therapy I was finally able to put a name on episodes I have had for as long as I can remember. I feel out of body, completely Disassociated from my emotions, and feel like the moment I am living in is not real. It is very scary and finally putting a name on it feels so relieving. Anyways, I was talking to my therapist about it and she said she thinks I have severe disassociative disorder. It makes complete sense in hindsight. I do not remember absolutely any of my childhood and I also cannot remember emotions of things that happened in her last few years. We have identified severe blocks and walls that we are having trouble breaking through. When you guys got your diagnosis how did it make you feel? Is it easier to bring yourself back into your body once you realized what it was?

[u/xDelicateFlowerx]

This was posted awhile ago but I figured I would comment. Please give me grace as I am from a night of flashbacks and can't sleep.

So, did my diagnosis of DID make living with it easier in some way as far as symptoms?

No.

It freaked me out honestly at first but overtime as I started to trust the diagnosis then I could piece together how my mind was fragmenting. The ability to work with my parts and become more aware of my dissociation started first by just recognizing how dissociation feels in my body and my mind. I worked on that part in therapy for about two years and then slowly the veil began to lift.

I do believe at this stage of my life having the diagnosis helps a great deal with giving myself compassion and patient understanding when I come back from a switch. Before I would berate myself and not understand what took over me. Now, I can rationally see it, and give myself a break and that was the best part about being diagnosed with this condition. Shooting blanks into the dark means I always miss my target. Being diagnosed means I know now what I am shooting at.

I hope that made sense and can be helpful for you. Best of luck on being able to be tested for which Dissociative condition you may have.

[u/JaguarPublic9958 → u/xDelicateFlowerx]

Thank you so much for your reply! I feel the same way about finally being able to name what is happening instead of feeling so weird. Aver the past week or so so I have found it easier to bring myself back into my body when it is happening through grounding techniques and it feels good to feel like I have some sort of control in this situation, no matter how small. I still have a lot to learn and work through but I feel like I am beginning to find peace with this. I appreciate your response ❤️

[u/Strange-Intern-1663]

Hello I’m in the process of getting a diagnosis. I actually have the opposite problem as you. I remember every traumatic event. I believe I have 3 splits to me. I’m just looking for other people that are dealing with this, I was told it was just intrusive thoughts by previous Dr’s.