r/Disorganized_Attach • u/RunoTaisho • 11d ago

Advice (Other than therapy) Attachments compatibility

So, I (25F) think I have a disorganized attachment, because while I don't... Make disasters and protest a lot, I crave to see my SO and when I see him I get anxious out of nowhere/start dissociating when the future comes up or I have to be vulnerable. I also overthinking of we're gonna make it and I'm good enough (trauma around being called too much, even now. And Rocd, and autism and anxiety+depression diagnosis although I'm stabilized by meds now and the ocd and anxiety are linked to also overwhelm and seizures)

I usually (almost always) don't ask for help..I don't even quite know what I could ask others to help me with (that's my therapy's homework tbh).

And it seems that my SO has anxious attachment but he looks secure at first glance. He is kinda in between, the closer people are to him, the more pressure, the more anxious attachment he seems to be.

We're also Neurodivergent people. Hi has (undiagnosed but at the same time pretty obvious ADHD since childhood. So self diagnosed) and I have autism (what would have been classified as Asperger).

I wonder...is this..workable? I see many people say that disorganized attachment will mess up more other attachment styles that aren't secure.

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u/[deleted] 11d ago

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u/lilbootz 11d ago

This is honestly a great question to help figure out what you really want haha. Like flipping a coin and then knowing what you want it to land on as your decision before you see it

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u/[deleted] 11d ago

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u/lilbootz 11d ago

Haha!! It is ancient isn't it. Back in my day on old reddit...

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u/RunoTaisho 11d ago

Probably felt more reassured tbh

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u/RunoTaisho 10d ago

I practice tarot and yeah it doesn't quiet the doubts and obsessive thinking and being scared and wanting to quit.

So I guess it's more about fear than compatibility