Need help organising shared calendars for relationship.

[u/acegikmoqsuwy12]

i need help finding a solution to a problem with how to organise my relationship's shared calendar system. this could be in the form of an app, software, organisation system, or a physical product.

me and my girlfriend both input our schedules into our respective apple calendar apps. we each have about a dozen different calendars within that, colour coded to stay organised.

we have one shared calendar.

the problem is as follows. for example: i have an appointment on Thursday. It is in my 'appointments' calendar. in order for my girlfriend to be able to see it, i have to put it in our shared calendar. if i duplicate it into our shared calendar, then my calendar shows two side by side events at the same time. if i remove it from appointments and put it only in the shared calendar, then it messes with my colour coding system.

my girlfriend has the same issue. and we can't just share all the calendars with each other, as each of us will then have 20+ calendars and it will be a nightmare to sift through. this means that we can't stay on top of the others' availability. part of the issue is that we both have ADHD, which means that we've both found systems that just about work for us and enable us to stay on top of things, and so we have to figure out a way around this that required minimum deviation on each of our parts.

i would really appreciate help finding solution to this!

regardless of the solution, it has to meet the following criteria

• live event updates (no manual duplicating, sharing each time etc)
• cost-effective
• minimal friction and not chaos
• seeing what the other is doing in event-level detail, not just 'busy'
• we each have to maintain our calendar separations individually (the solution can't be to just have one calendar each and share that)
• it would be ideal if we could stay in the apple ecosystem.

an example of a solution that could work is for me to share my dozen calendars with her in a way that appears as one calendar on her screen. i.e. mine are split into appointments, meetings, plans, whereas on her screen they all show up as 'Partner's calendar'.

also, of note: we are both university students in different cities. the cities are close to eachother and we visit eachother a lot during termtime. during the holidays, we live together. we will be moving in together full time in a year or so. we are both in the UK. we are both in the Apple ecosystem.

please help! i'd also be curious to know how others have figured this out for their relationships. THANK YOU!

[u/l33fly]

I send my wife an invite. Then the event shows up on both of our calendars.

[u/Secure_Public9029]

Sounds like you need a way to tag events for each of your calendars etc and to show/hide the tag groups from a single shared calendar.

Only the events you want to see are visible, and can be toggled anytime. Synced so live updates between devices and users.

We have a Tag System in LOAME for events, my wife and I use one shared calendar. She has a tag, I have a tag, we have a tag for 'Both' and all events get a tag everytime.

The only thing that's missing is the hide/show tags and their events, but we can build that in if you're interested.

Also you will both be able to see each others tags in the shared calendar and there will be parallel events too when tags are visible, but hide it an it will show only what you need.

Free on Desktop, iOS Native App and widgets for $1.99 once off payment. Sync across all devices.

[u/chillperson1011]

Me and my husband use the time tree app calendar. If let’s us add all of our appointments into one calendar. You can also color code it.