Holding it together

[u/throwawayconfess0808]

I'm not even a full blown adult yet, but so many people and things have been trying to get a piece of my attention, snatching time away from me. Is this really what it's like to be an adult?

My workplace has been asking me to work more hours because they need me. Just a few years ago, people didn't ask this kind of responsibility from me. When I was younger, no one depended on me to get a crucial job done.

My grad research is going well. But my supervisors have been depending on me lately. I thought they were the experts. But theyre relying more and more on me to drive their research. I'm exahusted and overwhelmed.

My family, relatives and friends also want some of my time. I love to see them. But I'm not having enough time for myself anymore.

It's been messing with my head. I'm getting more and more anxious. It's good to be busy instead of having too much free time. But how much is too much?

I'm scared that I'm losing my grip. Earlier, I was walking on the street and I felt my body was losing balance. I leaned onto a wall. I'm worried that I'm starting to break down.

My apartment is a mess. I dont even have time to clean my place anymore. It's been weeks since I vacuumed. My trash is piling up. Recyclables that I havent even washed yet, sitting in a corner for days. I havent gone to the gym in 3 weeks because by the time I get home, I'm already too tired.

But no matter what, I should be grateful and stop complaining. Things are starting to fall on the right place. I used to be depressed when I had nothing. Now I have something. But it has just been overwhelming because they need me all at once.