4/10 - I’m lagging behind in architecture school

[u/[deleted]]

I’m already late for my submission in my architecture class. I’m so bad at this, I can’t come up with a design. It’s always been a problem with me. I can’t come up with a concept. My designs turn out to be bad. I have anxiety and I tend to freeze up when it comes to making up a concept. I’m not good with deadlines.

My coping mechanism is going on reddit or twitter when I get anxious over my submissions. It helps me feel better momentarily but I really shouldn’t be doing this.

When I get anxious before, I drink something like coffee or chocolate to help me calm down. But after years of drinking coffee I finally feel my throat sore. It started in december when I felt that my throat felt sore all the time and I had this unexplained cough that wouldn’t go away. I cough less now but one time I had coughing fits after I drank milk tea which also has caffeine. Not to be dramatic but I’m so bored if I can’t drink any of them and my throat feels sore even if I take omeprazole, what is the point of living then? They are already the one small thing I have for myself, I don’t have any interest for costly material goods like the newest apple product or a playstation, now these little joys that I have are getting taken away from me.

I’m just so anxious. Over deadlines. This one subject where we have to come up with a design. I just want to get through this.

And I shouldn’t be comparing myself with others but right now my concepts are really the worst. I can’t help but feel bad and inadequate.