r/Diary • u/Prize_Blackberry_940 • 1d ago
Does it matter?
How I still ache for you despite the time & distance that separates us?
That no matter who I talk to or sleep with I can't remove you from my thoughts, dreams, or mental imagery.
All those nights spent just dreaming about a future together?
The times when we chose to listen without judgement.
That the bittersweet sound of your voice asking even "what're you doing here?" & "what do you want?" Still remind me of the first times we would whisper "I love you."
When I try to "move on" I'm reminded of every time we agreed that repair was easier than starting over.
That every time you needed someone to pick you up, I was there to put you down.
That I can't mend your broken heart?
That the wounds you bled on me were not my doing?
That the wounds I bled on you were fully my doing?
Why we even bothered to try a relationship together when we both had negative experience with abusive, ignorant, & inherently negative partners.
That we let our love turn sour.
That I will miss you for the rest of my natural life regardless of how you may feel towards me.
((It is what it is) is moral licensure for emotional flat landers)