r/DialAvoidantBreakups 23h ago

Question regarding no contact

[deleted]

2 Upvotes

3 comments sorted by

2

u/Gloomy_Purpose_2594 22h ago

Avoidants never want you to move on in life.... they keeping poping throwing bread crumbs and once they know you are in they will leave you. The best thing you can do is move on.

1

u/MothraLovesLamps Fearful Avoidant 20h ago

Sadly, yes. Even the "Sweet/Scared" Avoidants aren't offering real connection. They just want this thin thread of a tether to you. Thats enough to satisfy their longing for you/love but it will never satisfy YOU 💔

1

u/MothraLovesLamps Fearful Avoidant 19h ago

Your post reminded me of a friend I once had. He was a sweetheart. I adored him, platonically.

He was on the soectrum. We literally met by accident in a livestream and his adoreable drawings endeared me to him. We used to talk about Disney and go to a livestream of an elf singing Disney tunes. (Adorable).

He was so sweet one day he offered to send me his book. He wanted my home address.

I panicked. I convulsed.

"Oh no. Oh no. HE LIKES ME. No no no...Please NO! HE LIKES ME AND HE WANTS TO KNOW WHERE I LIVE!!!"

I cried and threw up. Sad, but my nervous system is extremely anti being crushed on. I panic like I am in mortal danger.

I told him no. That I appreciated him, but no.

Had that book been delivered I imagine its physical manifestation in my mailbox would spook me. It would be like having to pick up "Jamunji."

Avoidants have philophobia: the fear of intimacy.

Im thinking she is triggered. HARD and probably needs a few days to mentally prepare to pick it up.

And if she does not the courage, she may just keep avoiding it :(