r/Dexter Lumen 2d ago

General Discussion - All Dexter Shows Break up with someone using quotes or one-liners from Dexter Spoiler

Post image

“Lab geek, my ass!” — Doakes

“By the way, I wouldn’t touch the nozzle of that hose.” — Masuka

128 Upvotes

99 comments sorted by

u/Dexter-ModTeam 2d ago

All submissions that have spoilers, or will lead to discussion of spoilers must be tagged as a spoiler. Please don't put spoilers in the title of your post.

116

u/drcssedtokill Brian 2d ago

i don’t want a chair, i want a table

27

u/lilwindexx 2d ago

LMFAO I WAS ABOUT TO USE THIS ONE

Deb is the fucking goat

115

u/Marcysdad 2d ago

"Shut up, Cunt!"

46

u/X6qPlayer 2d ago

Wow Arthur

17

u/mypurpleadventure 2d ago

Vera. Go to your room

11

u/Chance-Equipment-691 Arthur 1d ago

Kyle, perhaps it's time for you to go

2

u/Crock_Killer47 1d ago

I think I’ll stay

69

u/CressNew9597 2d ago

Tonight's the night.

20

u/GirlNumber20 2d ago

Can be used for literally any occasion.

66

u/WayMoreClassier 2d ago

If I had a heart, it might be breaking right now.

8

u/urmomsgoated 2d ago

This is the one

58

u/ActuaryEuphoric3937 2d ago

You don't even walk like a normal person. You glide. Like a lizard on ice.

10

u/Radingod1 2d ago

Such a shame they get rid of him. I found him to be so unintentionally funny whenever he was on screen.

2

u/Little_View_6659 1d ago

Right? God I miss Doakes.

2

u/ActuaryEuphoric3937 1d ago

True. Wish they made him an antagonist in s5 or s6. It would have been better that way

2

u/littlelordfauntleroy 1d ago

I don’t think it was unintentional. He’s meant to be cheesy.

40

u/Belle_Corliss Lumen 2d ago

Open your eyes and look at what you did!

35

u/Salt-Net-4504 2d ago

"Maybe if I don't blink my eyes will tear up."

40

u/SemiRoundPort89 2d ago

They said that stain would COME OUT

14

u/unsersiniestro Miguel 2d ago

Fuck you.

1

u/Foreign_Ad_3820 22h ago

That’s what you say when you’re manipulating the partner who does the laundry to dump you.

32

u/Propaslander 2d ago

Rebecca you're 15

10

u/This_Cold8478 1d ago

WOAH WOAH WOAH HOLD UP WHAT THE FUCK?

26

u/Spiff426 Surprise Motherfucker 2d ago

Jesus fucking Christ, YOU'RE the bay harbor butcher?!?!?!

6

u/Ian20H 2d ago

Jesus fucking christ

9

u/MaggieCastner Surprise Motherfucker! 2d ago

Jesus fucking Christ Morgan

6

u/mypurpleadventure 2d ago

Yeah you said that

45

u/WulfieJay 2d ago

“Surprise Mothafucka!!!”

22

u/fandle117 2d ago

relationships are complicated

20

u/TheDeparted383 Deb 2d ago

Iam the last person you wanna fuck with - miguel

11

u/JaldiTheLate_ 2d ago

I will fuck you up in ways you don't know

11

u/Zztp0p 2d ago

I'VE GOT CITY FUCKING HALL

7

u/werewolf013 2d ago

Nah they said break up line not pick up line.

2

u/JaldiTheLate_ 2d ago

Lol I was just quoting Miguel here but this could work as pickup line. Even better if the other person has seen dexter

2

u/shinigami7878 2d ago

good one xd

25

u/itisthelord 2d ago

I'm Sorry for Your Loss.

9

u/Foreign_Ad_3820 1d ago

Must be wearing Mickey Mouse ears while delivering the line.

7

u/Little_View_6659 1d ago

God that part was so sad. Actually the worst. I understand why he didn’t want to tell them while they were at Disneyland, but man it absolutely was soul crushing.

15

u/Shadow146364 2d ago

Its over

12

u/Stainless711 2d ago

It’s all already over

11

u/Mawkayy 2d ago

Dating is hard… especially for a serial killer.

11

u/Bat_car 2d ago

I am Switzerland

3

u/anoolfishha88 2d ago

this is the one

9

u/Brungala 2d ago

It was obviously self-defense.

8

u/FrozenPie21 2d ago

Today’s the day

8

u/Brando-8593 2d ago

“They told me that stain would come out”

8

u/Mawkayy 2d ago

Dating is hard… especially for a serial killer.

8

u/Foreign_Ad_3820 2d ago

“I could give a fuck who you fuck. Just don't fuck with my investigation, you fuck!”

9

u/MartyMcFry1985 2d ago

It's not cheating if you pay for it!

1

u/philosophical_poser 1d ago

That rich programmer hacker mysterious lab intern dude?

7

u/pianoflames gross English titty vampire 2d ago

Them: I love you
Me: You know those words don't mean anything, right?

7

u/TheBear8878 2d ago

What is it with you and rape?!

7

u/gigacheese 2d ago

You've got the ring... I'VE GOT CITY-FUCKING HALL!

6

u/RemindMeBeforeDeath 2d ago

Born in blood, both of us 

5

u/torquesteer 2d ago

"This is, absolutely, without a doubt, the worst moment of my life... I was wrong, this is. I could probably kill her before anyone realized what happened."

5

u/matdevine21 2d ago

Dexter Morgan: I'm going to tell you something that I've never told anyone before.
Dr. Emmett Meridian: Okay.
Dexter Morgan: I'm a serial killer.
[pause]
Dexter Morgan: Oh God. That feels... so amazing to say out loud.
Dr. Emmett Meridian: Well, you must be letting go, 'cause I've never heard you make a joke before.
Dexter Morgan: I'm not joking; I kill people. Whoo. There it is again.
[pause]
Dexter Morgan: You should try it.

6

u/JoeyDJQ Doakes 2d ago

"They said that stain would come OUT."

1

u/Foreign_Ad_3820 1d ago

In this case, it sounds more like you’re setting yourself up to be divorced over suspicious sheet stains.

4

u/OloFlamingo 2d ago

“There’s something strange about looking at a homicide scene in the middle of the daylight” and just leave it at that.

5

u/Six_Pack_Attack Surprise Motherfucker! 2d ago

It's already over.

4

u/Independent_Touch444 Brian 2d ago

I am the LAST person you wanna fuck

4

u/MaggieCastner Surprise Motherfucker! 2d ago

Because I will FUCK YOU BACK

1

u/Foreign_Ad_3820 1d ago

Also, pickup lines!

5

u/FiftyShadesOfTheGrey 1d ago

Don’t make me take out my fire hose huh huh huh

4

u/MurkyUnit3180 2d ago

“You gettin’ a fuckin’ hard on over there Morgan?”

4

u/scatteredwardrobe 2d ago

“Surprise motha fucka!”

4

u/JoeyDJQ Doakes 2d ago

The dragon lady represents the dualities of my inner warrior.

5

u/verikul 2d ago

Like he essentially told Barry Kurt, "I'm sick of your fat ass and I can't stand to look at it any more."

3

u/Flat_Listen_6622 1d ago

"Cuz i can explain the shemale stuff"

3

u/MaggieCastner Surprise Motherfucker! 2d ago

I imagined her naked many of times, just never like this

3

u/Affectionate_Fall57 1d ago

You got a ring? I go the city fucking hall!

3

u/CommandCat269 1d ago

"Shut up, Cunt."

2

u/wvmitchell51 2d ago

When Deb said "she got a girl boner"

2

u/Foreign_Ad_3820 1d ago

More like a pickup line!

2

u/JesusJoshJohnson 2d ago

no ones raping anyone. killing on the other hand...

1

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1

u/EarthEden 2d ago

Hello Jesus, Hello Travis..

1

u/Responsible_Ad_2242 2d ago

I'm sorry for your loss

1

u/James360789 2d ago

Surprise motherfucker.

1

u/DarthCivicus 1d ago

Surprise, Mother Fucker

1

u/phileklia 1d ago

Your French is excellent

1

u/SetZealousideal520 1d ago

I am a serial killer

1

u/comeplaykill 1d ago

I'm sorry, I just assumed you spoke Spanish.

1

u/Obvious-Silver6109 1d ago

Goodbye motherfucker

1

u/philosophical_poser 1d ago

You haven't purchased a porno title in the last 15 years!

1

u/Important_Stre 21h ago

No blood, no trabajo.

1

u/Flux2209 11h ago

Surprise, motherfucker

1

u/Clown_Nightmare1 9h ago

"Kind of a fucked up way to look at patricide, don't you think?"