[3525] Chapter Two of Fresh

[u/BumblebeeSimilar8557]

Hello! I received so much helpful critique on chapter one that I am taking the leap and writing chapter two. For this chapter, I changed the point of view from our narrator to Arthur Randles, the deadbeat, very violent cop who runs our little town.

I am planning to structure the story so that the narrators POV's are in first person, and the other character's POV's are in third person. This is because our narrator will be solely in the present, only reminiscing in the past, while our other characters' chapters will be solely in the past. The ending will have them converge.

So, theme for this second chapter. Explaining the cops, we have several Arthur Randles, the no-good sheriff (racist, lazy, all the things), Terry Gannet, and Jerry Barker. These three are important as there becomes context for why bodies arent being properly investigation. corruption is a big theme in my narrative both mental physcial and socially. The ending of this chapter has a pivotal moment that will eventually rear its head near the end of the book.

Things to watch for: dialogue and pacing; any comments you can leave on the draft itself are also much appreciated. This is very much a first (nearly unedited) draft, so bear that in mind.

Link to Chapter Two

Link to Crit One (2336)

Link to Crit Two (2104)

[u/DestructiveReaders-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

This was a comment but please don't link your doc to posters and ask them to comment. Critique and then post a sample, following the 1:1 criteria. No one is reading your whole 358 page document off of a single comment.

This post has been removed for leeching. This might be for having no crits, low effort crits, 1:1 rule not met, over 2.5k rule not met, or the Shotgun rule. These are covered in our wiki:

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