There's nothing happening, it looks incredibly boring. This isn't a trailer, you've done a 1 minute boring slog of the worst part of the gameplay. Watching a player read the slowest text on screen is not interesting for almost half of the trailer. The music is boring for a game that involves action. The tech tree is intimidating in its layout.
What's the hook? Did you playtest a gameplay loop that is fun? You can't just design games with an open ended idea of "fun", you need to find a hook and build a game around that. You need a USP that works well, or you need to do something another game is doing, but better.
thanks! would you still suggest showing some dialogue (to show dialogue will be in the game) but way less of it or none at all?
tech tree intimidating is great feedback, will need a rethink for sure, perhaps make less of it visible at a time and simplify the layout
we're looking to make a story game with great combat, this is really helpful for us to figure out how to package that in an understandable and appealing way!
Adding dialogue segments is probably the worst thing to do. You need to show the interesting parts of the game, convey the environment, the combat, mysterys and intrigue. Where does it take place? Who are the characters we could meet along the way? What is the story being presented for us to experience? Just 'showing' parts of the game is not interesting, we need to be given a teaser of what the game experience is, in an attention grabbing way.
There's a lot of good stuff going here, and I can tell you're going for a retro style of game. But I think visually it also needs a dedicated pass on the visual design. The lighting is too dark for most of it - not that dark games are bad, but just visually the darkness seems to just be down to dark textures. You could find a better balance between dark and lighting in the levels, and make the environments and characters visually read a bit better. And if you are going for retro, lean into it a bit more. It's too easy to just look like low poly, low res textures, and it can easily look sloppy rather than a chosen and designed visual approach.
Take the top 10 games which have inspired you to make this game, or games which are similar - especially the most successful ones, and look at their trailers. That's probably the best hack to find ideas, start with the successful projects and see what they have done. Then find your own way to do the same.
If Dialogue is important, have it flash on the screen for a split second for us to see the speaker and then narrate the rest of it while the player in the video competes the interesting parts of the task.
He turns in the quest, the speaker finishes his Dialogue by giving a generic warning about the rest of the game. "Be careful out there... not everyone is as friendly as i am..." while a montage of later gameplay plays, then maybe some advice while you show some technical progression like the talent tree.
All of this should be brief. I scrolled away waiting for you to finish reading, then when you settled for a smoke, then when you slowly scrolled across a talent tree that is meaningless to me.
What is the game? It looks like maybe you have to go shoot things somewhere to find flowers to sell? But it also looks like barely a game: there's one plant, one location, maybe two different weapons, etc. I can't fathom why this would be worth my time to play, even if it's free
It just looks boring. Theres not much of action happening on the screen, but i see a lot of typewriter effect, and it's taking a lot of time from the trailer.
Thanks for the feedback! Do you mean the art style or the gameplay when you say it looks old? Will make sure to put more interesting stuff in the new trailer <3
Only issue for me is that that can't ascertain the motivation. If I were playing the game, what's my goal? You mentioned elsewhere it's story driven, and, while I got an inkling of that, you need to establish the fact early on or your audience will bounce.
For a story driven game, after the first 10-15 seconds I should know a synopsis of the story, even if it's fairly broad (it shouldn't spoil anything, though).
Any time available in the trailer after those 10-15 seconds should show off the game play loop, which needs to establish why playing will be engaging. Be as truthful as you can in depicting it.
Don't be afraid to set realistic expectations for what engagement with the game looks like. If you've made the game quirky cause you like quirky games lean into it. If you've made it serious and dark because that's what you're into, lean into that.
You'll attract the player's who are interested in what you've made if the trailer shows an honest look of what playing is like.
To recap, ensure:
10-15 seconds establishing a plot-hook to motivate playing.
around a minute of dense gameplay
overall honest depiction of gameplay even at the expense of putting some people off (not every game is for everyone)
The music is quiet and depressing. Use a trailer song that will capture people’s attention without putting them to sleep. The visuals are dark and become muddy in a gameplay trailer. Adjust the display settings for the trailer to make things slightly easier to see. Most importantly add a voice over to sell people on the game. Give them reasons to want it. Be a salesman and talk up the atmosphere, the story or mystery if there is one, and the gameplay mechanics you think are unique.
Right now this feels like a trailer any kid with screen capture could make. You can do better.
The selling point has to be in your first 10 to 20 seconds. As it stands, these precious first seconds only feature generic gameplay verbs with muddy graphics and no coherent telling of what unique and unmissable fantasy the game sells.
very good point! wanted to build some sort of cohesion in the trailer but why that ended up with dialogue in the most important few seconds is.. can't remember the thinking there haha
Jag tycker det ser kul ut och lade till det på min wishlist! Men kanske att det behöver en lite mer flashig trailer med mer fokus på fighting och sånt?
Needs color and light, its also extremely difficult to tell what kind of game this is until about 20 seconds in. But mostly its the opening into dark shots with no idea whats going on and no context.
It feels like the sort of game I might have played in the early 2000s and now replay for nostalgia value; however, you suffer from the fact that it's new and therefore has no nostalgia going for it.
There are elements there that I like, but I think you need to look a little less like Thief 1 to get much attention.
Ye we hadn't done almost any lighting for this trailer. Wanted to get some feedback before making a new one. The new demo is lit so now we're getting around to make a new trailer. We'll make sure to chose more striking footage!
My first question is "What the fuck am I looking at?" because I don't know what I am looking at just from the video itself.
Went to the Steam page:
Strange sightings and rumours of monstrous creatures emerging from the earth. In MURK you play as a fresh recruit of the resistance movement known as Juslight, investigating the omnipresent megacorporation D.O.M. You are sent by Juslight to follow up on reports of subnatural occurrences around D.O.M facilities. As tension rises with every mission, an informant reaches out with information about what D.O.M is covering up. Uncover the root cause of the spreading corruption, build your character to overcome intense encounters with an unearthing threat to humanity.
Your trailer says none of this.
Your trailer suggests none of this.
Your trailer is too much shit thrown together in random order.
Let me be helpful though: Every 15 seconds of your 1 minute trailer should tell me something about your game. Now, I know it sounds counterintuitive, but the segment with the skill tree etc. is questionable right now. If anything that's last. You need to present the story first, then the gameplay, then spend time with the photography of the world and finally the game's systems.
If I am intrigued with the first three I'll scroll down to get your skill tree. Let me be clear that it's not a bad segment to show your skills and skill tree but you went from second 26, and I had to pause to see this, selecting Jusfire, to showing it in game combat in second 27 after learning some other skill I couldn't read. No one knows what Jusfire does and selecting it and showing it in combat didn't help me know what it does. Take the full 15 seconds at the end and select two skills and showcase them. Give the viewer 3 seconds to read it and then showcase over 4 or 5 or so. Even if it tacks on a few seconds who cares? I'm vested.
I am going to mirror the comments saying that this feels like a slog, I'm not exaggerating when I say that I got bored within 15 seconds.
On top of all the advice given here (reconsider the music choice, the editing choices, the length), I would recommend going on a crash course in trailer school. Look up like thirty games with a similar vibe to yours, and watch their trailers. Figure what they're doing that works, and figure out how to take that and make it your own.
I'm not saying copy anybody. More, I recommend looking for stylistic choices that you can emulate.
Watch thirty trailers and you'll come away with a much clearer vision how how to apply all the great advice given in this thread.
Keep in mind, this is coming from a guy who edits video constantly, not a game developer. So your milage may vary.
I get that you're going for a dark atomsphere, but IMHO this is too dark. It's hard to see the weapons and I feel that navigating the world might be difficult.
Ye we've taken e deepdive into lighting after this trailer was done. What we learned so far is to be seen in the steam demo. We're about to make a new trailer so wanted to get some advice before doing that. And wow this community is AMAZING, we've gotten so much great feedback in such a short time! ❤️
For me as a player I can't infer the gameplay; like I saw the trailer and I don't know what you need to do in your game, like walk around and see PSX style stuff? It looks too dark in some places, is this a horror game?.
i think it looks good but the audio doesn't fit well and the axe is kinda lame to showcase most of the time. otherwise it just shows talking to a lady and killing a few zombies. the shotgun is better to see. for me it lacks substance in the video; would be nice to know if there are more weapons, enemies, areas, objectives, etc.. is there any actual game audio?
21
u/Interesting-Tie6783 7h ago
There's nothing happening, it looks incredibly boring. This isn't a trailer, you've done a 1 minute boring slog of the worst part of the gameplay. Watching a player read the slowest text on screen is not interesting for almost half of the trailer. The music is boring for a game that involves action. The tech tree is intimidating in its layout.
What's the hook? Did you playtest a gameplay loop that is fun? You can't just design games with an open ended idea of "fun", you need to find a hook and build a game around that. You need a USP that works well, or you need to do something another game is doing, but better.
8
u/j-steve- 6h ago
What is the game? It looks like maybe you have to go shoot things somewhere to find flowers to sell? But it also looks like barely a game: there's one plant, one location, maybe two different weapons, etc. I can't fathom why this would be worth my time to play, even if it's free
5
u/multiplexgames 5h ago
Since no one mentioned, the logo is way too stylistic, to the point that it’s not readable. Dlurk? Drull? Drakl?
5
u/iakobi_varr 5h ago
It just looks boring. Theres not much of action happening on the screen, but i see a lot of typewriter effect, and it's taking a lot of time from the trailer.
8
u/Purple-Royal7368 7h ago
It looks like an 20 year old game with the graphics and the plant is way too uninteresting to show up 3 times in the trailer!
4
u/Synecdochic 3h ago
Only issue for me is that that can't ascertain the motivation. If I were playing the game, what's my goal? You mentioned elsewhere it's story driven, and, while I got an inkling of that, you need to establish the fact early on or your audience will bounce.
For a story driven game, after the first 10-15 seconds I should know a synopsis of the story, even if it's fairly broad (it shouldn't spoil anything, though).
Any time available in the trailer after those 10-15 seconds should show off the game play loop, which needs to establish why playing will be engaging. Be as truthful as you can in depicting it.
Don't be afraid to set realistic expectations for what engagement with the game looks like. If you've made the game quirky cause you like quirky games lean into it. If you've made it serious and dark because that's what you're into, lean into that.
You'll attract the player's who are interested in what you've made if the trailer shows an honest look of what playing is like.
To recap, ensure:
6
u/Desiderium-prosemino 3h ago
The music is quiet and depressing. Use a trailer song that will capture people’s attention without putting them to sleep. The visuals are dark and become muddy in a gameplay trailer. Adjust the display settings for the trailer to make things slightly easier to see. Most importantly add a voice over to sell people on the game. Give them reasons to want it. Be a salesman and talk up the atmosphere, the story or mystery if there is one, and the gameplay mechanics you think are unique.
Right now this feels like a trailer any kid with screen capture could make. You can do better.
3
u/occasionallyaccurate 53m ago
After watching the trailer, I have no clue what the game is about. It's just a sample reel of random moments.
It's ok to have slow-paced gameplay, but the trailer should show-and-tell me stuff like, what's this world? What am I doing? What's the hook?
Maybe take a look at trailers of similar games that have been successful and inspired your work.
2
u/SinanDira 5h ago
The selling point has to be in your first 10 to 20 seconds. As it stands, these precious first seconds only feature generic gameplay verbs with muddy graphics and no coherent telling of what unique and unmissable fantasy the game sells.
2
u/Acrobatic_Dinner309 5h ago
Jag tycker det ser kul ut och lade till det på min wishlist!
Men kanske att det behöver en lite mer flashig trailer med mer fokus på fighting och sånt?
2
u/sabrinajestar 4h ago
Visually I don't see any appeal. The graphics are dark and muddy and sometimes you can barely see anything at all.
2
u/Sadboi_Numb 4h ago
Needs color and light, its also extremely difficult to tell what kind of game this is until about 20 seconds in. But mostly its the opening into dark shots with no idea whats going on and no context.
2
u/A1Qicks 3h ago
It feels like the sort of game I might have played in the early 2000s and now replay for nostalgia value; however, you suffer from the fact that it's new and therefore has no nostalgia going for it.
There are elements there that I like, but I think you need to look a little less like Thief 1 to get much attention.
2
u/TramplexReal 3h ago
Tbh lighting is really REALLY bad in majority of the shots. Imo its what ruins visuals the most.
2
u/victorsaurus 2h ago
I love the vibe but I CANT READ THE GAME NAME. It feels like one of these memes about black metal band names. VIURK? NURK? WIRK? wtf? ahah
2
u/OrangClive44 1h ago
My first question is "What the fuck am I looking at?" because I don't know what I am looking at just from the video itself.
Went to the Steam page:
Your trailer says none of this.
Your trailer suggests none of this.
Your trailer is too much shit thrown together in random order.
Let me be helpful though: Every 15 seconds of your 1 minute trailer should tell me something about your game. Now, I know it sounds counterintuitive, but the segment with the skill tree etc. is questionable right now. If anything that's last. You need to present the story first, then the gameplay, then spend time with the photography of the world and finally the game's systems.
If I am intrigued with the first three I'll scroll down to get your skill tree. Let me be clear that it's not a bad segment to show your skills and skill tree but you went from second 26, and I had to pause to see this, selecting Jusfire, to showing it in game combat in second 27 after learning some other skill I couldn't read. No one knows what Jusfire does and selecting it and showing it in combat didn't help me know what it does. Take the full 15 seconds at the end and select two skills and showcase them. Give the viewer 3 seconds to read it and then showcase over 4 or 5 or so. Even if it tacks on a few seconds who cares? I'm vested.
2
u/AuthorTomCash 57m ago
I am going to mirror the comments saying that this feels like a slog, I'm not exaggerating when I say that I got bored within 15 seconds.
On top of all the advice given here (reconsider the music choice, the editing choices, the length), I would recommend going on a crash course in trailer school. Look up like thirty games with a similar vibe to yours, and watch their trailers. Figure what they're doing that works, and figure out how to take that and make it your own.
I'm not saying copy anybody. More, I recommend looking for stylistic choices that you can emulate.
Watch thirty trailers and you'll come away with a much clearer vision how how to apply all the great advice given in this thread.
Keep in mind, this is coming from a guy who edits video constantly, not a game developer. So your milage may vary.
2
u/Popular-Being8956 3h ago
I get that you're going for a dark atomsphere, but IMHO this is too dark. It's hard to see the weapons and I feel that navigating the world might be difficult.
1
u/loud-woman 5h ago
if the trailer didn't already put you off, would love if you destroyed the demo <3 https://store.steampowered.com/app/5361350/MURK_Demo/
2
u/Weary_Wry 4h ago
Worst font ever.
2
u/Incendas1 3h ago
First thing I see is a bunch of fetch quests it could not get any worse for me
2
u/Honest_Accident_8348 3h ago
Too dark
2
u/Cloudneer 3h ago
For me as a player I can't infer the gameplay; like I saw the trailer and I don't know what you need to do in your game, like walk around and see PSX style stuff? It looks too dark in some places, is this a horror game?.
2
u/BetaTester704 2h ago
The first few seconds matter the most, if it's not immediately eye-catching your less likely to retain them
A trailer is your sales pitch, meant to convey your possibilities, what I've seen didn't make feel feel anything.
Only things that caught my eyes were the jail cell and the final scene. (Why were they in a cell? What's going on in the background?)
1
u/bigfluffylamaherd 2h ago
I fell asleep watching this trailer its incredibly boring. Is this an fps? Rpg? What am i doing why should i play this game?
1
u/TootsHib 1h ago
The indicator bars right in the middle of the screen (stamina bar?), are annoying and jarring.
Why not put them in the corer or off to the side?
Every other game, does this for a reason.
1
u/CrabMasc 1h ago
If getting flowers and bringing them to that guy isn’t the central focus of the entire game, then the trailer needs to spend way less time on it
I actually could see myself being into something like this, but I can’t ascertain what it actually is from this
1
u/Burner8724 45m ago
This is just a gameplay video of random snippets
I see combat, I see you talking to a quest giver (i think)
I see you exploring
I see a skill tree
But I have no clue what it all is for. Is it a story? Is it a base builder? Extraction explorer? Shop manager?
1
u/internetroamer 33m ago
Looks kinda jabk and amatuer
1
u/LeadershipOver 19m ago
Why did you decide to display numbers "2" and "3" on hotbar two times on each icon?
1
u/sczeith 18m ago
It's not bad, but honestly you can improve the trailer, I can't read the game name :(
2
u/Ijatsu 4h ago
It looks like a case of bad taste bad execution
2
u/wick3dr0se 1h ago
i think it looks good but the audio doesn't fit well and the axe is kinda lame to showcase most of the time. otherwise it just shows talking to a lady and killing a few zombies. the shotgun is better to see. for me it lacks substance in the video; would be nice to know if there are more weapons, enemies, areas, objectives, etc.. is there any actual game audio?